82년생 김지영

Emily May

Rating: really liked it

The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts, and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all.

4 1/2 stars. There is some seriously weird and awesome art coming out of South Korea these days. From the weirder stuff (The Vegetarian, IMO) to the fabulous (Parasite - highly recommended) to this latest novella that packs a serious punch. It really makes me wonder how many other gems there are that never made it to translation.

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 is an unusual book and I can see right now how it won't be for everyone. It's a strange combination of fiction and facts, including footnotes referencing actual data on women in the workplace, housewives, the hoju system, and abortion. What it really is, for me, is a novelization of a true story; the true story of gender inequality in Korea.

It starts very odd, not unlike Han Kang's The Vegetarian, with a man observing his wife, Kim Jiyoung, exhibiting some very unusual behaviour. Sometimes she will talk like she is someone else, or make inappropriate comments while they are visiting family. Where has this come from? She never used to behave like this-- what happened to her?

Then we go back in time and follow Jiyoung through the story of her life. We see her put everything she has into becoming a working woman with her own income. We see her met with challenge after challenge; rejection after rejection. We see her living in fear of predatory boys and handsy teachers. We see fetuses being aborted for being the wrong gender and women's bodies becoming the subject of job interview questions.

Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be “ladylike.” That it’s your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It’s your fault for not noticing and not avoiding.

I don't know if some people can read this book and not be angry, but I was furious. I felt like I was almost visibly shaking while reading about Kim Jiyoung and the women around her. Do not read this book if you're looking for a light, feel-good read.

There are so many interesting topics packed into this teeny tiny book. Another aspect I enjoyed was the portrayal of Kim Jiyoung's mother. It must have been so hard to be a mother in this in-between. To have grown up in a time when women were given no choices or opportunities and to try to raise daughters in a world where they do have some choices, but prejudices and gendered abuse still hold them back. Do you push them for better? Or do you set realistic expectations?

I think the only thing I didn't love was how weird this book is in the beginning and again at the end. It could just be a cultural style that I don't really "get", but I think this is a fantastic portrait of a woman's life and the situation was more than sympathetic enough without Jiyoung's bizarre breakdown.

Still, you should absolutely read it if you can stomach more stories about how very unfair this world has been, and often still is, for women.

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Meike

Rating: really liked it
This novella hit a nerve in South Korea and became one of the biggest-selling books of the new century. In it, Cho Nam-Joo tells the story of a Korean everywoman from her birth in 1982 until 2016, the year the book was published in its original Korean. Kim Ji-young experiences systemic misogyny in all stages of life, be it as a kid in her own family, in school and at university, in the workplace and also as a wife and mother. The protagonist does not only suffer because of stereotypical women-hating machos (although they also feature in the text), but there's a whole web of factors, attitudes and implications that affect all characters differently, from the education system to the economic crisis, from conservative gender roles to questions of agency related to intersectional feminism. An overall feeling of powerlessness and internalized societal norms lead to self-alienation and to female trauma that is inherited over generations: When Kim Ji-young is born, her mother apologises to her mother-in-law for having a girl. When Kim Ji-young is pregnant with a girl, people feel sorry for her and try to cheer her up. Being a woman means being a failure.

The book led to a fierce debate about sexism in Korea. Some months before its publication, the "Gangnam murder" shook up the country: A woman was murdered at a metro station, and the perpetrator stated that he had been ignored by women for so long that he could not stand it anymore. The hate crime heated up the #metoo movement in Korea, but there was also a huge backlash. Many K-Pop singers and other celebrities who professed to reading Cho Nam-Joo's feminist novella (which, as the author explained, is largely based on personal exprience) were attacked and threatened on the internet. When the book was turned into a movie, the actors and actresses got under attack.

But Cho Nam-Joo has the numbers to back up her text, and she includes them in it - the book is written in a very particular, rather dry and detached style that includes studies and other research (the twist-ending reveals why, and the last sentence is vicious). The effect is harrowing - it is by largely denying empathy and stating the facts that the protagonist's dire situation becomes clear. Gender inequality in South Korea is ranked as one of the highest in the world, you can find some stats here.

Similar to Han Kang in The Vegetarian, Cho Nam-Joo depicts a scenario in which other characters interpret the effects of degradation and lack of agency that the protagonist shows as mental illness - but it's worth contemplating whether those protagonists are sick, or whether the circumstances under which they have to live are sick.

Very interesting and highly relevant, not only in South Korea. Here's the movie trailer with English subtitles. You can learn more about the novel in my radio piece and our latest podcast episode (both in German).

Emily (Books with Emily Fox)

Rating: really liked it
Controversial Korean feminist book following a woman who according to the people around her is "losing it". I really enjoyed this book. It's a painfully relatable read. I recommend it!

Warning: The writing is on the dry side but I felt like the ending explained it.

s.penkevich

Rating: really liked it
‘What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life, asks poet Muriel Rukeyser. The answer, she says, is ‘the world would split open.’ Korean author Cho Nam-joo has done just this with her 2016 novel Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (82年生的金智英) which helped spark the #MeToo movement in South Korea and became a flashpoint of gender discussions and backlash. While focusing on misogyny in South Korea, Kim Jiyoung becomes a channel for women’s collective rage that was felt universally, being translated into 18 languages--such as the English translation by Jamie Chang--in this novel that opens with the titular character quite literally channelling the voices of women both dead and alive to speak out against misogynist mistreatment. Going through Kim Jiyoung’s life story and cataloguing the gender injustices along the way leading up to her breaking point, Cho Nam-joo paints a portrait of women’s experience for all the world to reflect upon ‘as evidence of how women in this era, the 2010s, lived, thought and made effort,’ Cho says in an interview with NPR. ‘I thought of Kim Jiyoung's character as a vessel that contains experiences and emotions that are common to every Korean woman,’ Cho says, and the international success of the novel has shown that this experience resonates across the globe. The novel itself is direct and brief, but opens up a massive conversation on gender inequalities such as access to adequate employment, household duties, stigmas of pregnant women to simply being believed, all while commenting on how and why so many of these issues get brushed under the rug. It is undeniably a must-read.

‘If we women all go through these experiences, then they should be discussed together, in a public way.’
— Cho Nam-joo

The cultural context of the novel and its wake are as interesting as the book itself. In May of 2016 (when the book was released) a young woman was stabbed to death in a restroom of Seoul’s Gangnam district subway, the killer claiming he did it ‘because women have always ignored me’. This gets into how men have been socially conditioned into entitlement over women’s bodies and affection--a global issue shown with Incels murdering women such as the 2014 Isla Vista killings in the US--and was another major spark leading up to the major South Korean MeToo movement demonstrations in 2018 where President Moon Jae-in acknowledged that the country ‘cannot solve this through laws alone and we need to change our culture and attitude’. This novel has been cited as a large inspiration for the MeToo movement, as well as the Escape the Corset and 4B feminist movements in South Korea.

So what exactly is in this novel, you might be inclined to wonder considering all this. The novel chronicles the life of main character Kim Jiyoung from childhood into early years of marriage when she begins to channel voices and is sent to a therapist for fears of mental instability (the notions of madness in women have a long misogynist history such as the etymology of the word hysteria being a medical diagnosis for women essentially for them causing disruption to others for any reason). Cho Nam-joo does well by having most of the issues faced by Jiyoung seem fairly standard to demonstrate how ingrained misogyny is in society.

’Born during a time when ‘checking the sex of the foetus and aborting females was common practice, as if ‘daughter’ was a medical problem’ Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be “ladylike.” That it’s your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It’s your fault for not noticing and not avoiding.’

This social conditioning begins early in childhood where women are denied victimhood of aggression and assault by claiming the way they dress, the people they hang out with, or any normal social aspects of their life invited the disturbances upon them. When Jiyoung is stalked by a male classmate on her way home and made by him to feel like his potential assault is her fault for smiling at him in class, her understandable fears are swatted down by her father who yells at her in claims she brought it upon herself. Similarly, Jiyoung’s primary school has strict dress codes for the girls that are not enforced for the boys because they are deemed as being naturally more active. Dr. Helen Morales discusses the double edged sword of dress codes for girls in her book Antigone Rising as policing girls bodies while simultaneously upholding a capitalist market that thrives on sexualizing young girl’s bodies. Dress too conservatively and be labeled frumpy and undesirable, be desirable and be chastised for it. Similarly Jiyoung sees while in college being sexually unobtainable is looked down upon, but having dated a classmate makes you ‘someone else’s chewed gum’ and suddenly minimized under the same standards.

‘The young laborers worked without adequate sleep, rest or food, thinking that was what working entailed for everyone.’

While Jiyoung is painfully aware of these double standards as a child, but it is during her quest for employment and holding a job as a women when these issues really come to a head. Jiyoung is openly told that women are less desirable for employment because they may require maternity leave, and often sees how qualified women are passed over in interviews simply because men are more valued. ‘What do you want from us?, it is observed, ‘[t]he dumb girls are too dumb, the smart girls are too smart, and the average girls are too unexceptional?’ Once getting a job, she is painfully aware that working harder to prove her worth becomes harmful for other women in her field as it sets a standard where working oneself to death and sacrificing your time is required to be on equal footing with male employees that do not have to do the same to be accepted.

’I've noticed this about new employees over the years. The women take on all the cumbersome, minor tasks without being asked, while guys never do. Doesn´t matter if they're new or the youngest - they never do anything they're not told to do. But why do women simply take things upon themselves?’

The sacrifices made don’t just apply to the working world. Jiyoung is pressured to have a child by her husband’s family and when she does she is then shamed by society for being pregnant. Given the opportunity to show up 30 minutes later due to her pregnancy, her male coworkers chide her for being privileged and given unfair advantages while ignoring how difficult, disruptive and painful pregnancy is (she begins showing up extra early before realizing this is setting a precedent that will harm pregnant women in the future). While taking the subway home and denied a seat despite her obvious condition, she is told she is shameful for working while pregnant because she must not be able to afford it, another example of how society demands her to become pregnant but then shames her while not affording her a space for being pregnant.

When discussing how disruptive the pregnancy is to her husband she sees just how naive men are to women’s conditions. While having the child will completely derail her career--much is made of the near impossible conditions needed for her to continue working and have childcare later on--her husband considers the minor inconveniences he will face to be equal. He bemoans that he won’t always be able to get a drink with the fellas after work and will have to help with bedtime occasionally as if that somehow matches the sacrifices she is making. There is a simple blindness to the household duties of women being reflected in the husband, something that is a problem everywhere. In her book Entitled, Dr. Kate Manne examines the gender inequality of housework after having a child. While these are US statistics, the takeaway message is something fairly universal and often worse in other countries:

‘First-time parenthood increased a man’s workload at home by about ten hours per week, [for women] about twenty hours...much of the new work that fathers did take on was comparatively ‘fun’ work of engagement with their children...Fathers did this for four hours per week, on average, while dropping their number of housework y five horse per week...Mothers decreased their hours of housework by only one hour per week--while adding about twenty-one hours of child-rearing labor...and mothers stilldid more by way of infant engagement: about six hours per week, on average.’

One of Cho Nam-joo’s most successful tactics in the novel is showing the ways in while men are oblivious to the gender inequalities. The husband honestly thinks he is an equal partner and isn’t perpetuating patriarchal norms while as a reader we see exactly how he is driving them. Manne offers another statistic, that ‘while 46 percent of fathers reported being coequal parents, only 32 percent of mothers concurred’. The blindness to these issues is a major theme of the book, particularly with the framing of the narrative. At the end we read the assessment from Jiyoung’s therapist who claims to have understood it all. ‘Frankly, it’s only natural that men remain unaware unless they encounter special circumstances as I have,’ he writes, ‘because men are not the main players in childbirth and childcare.’ The final gutpunch sentence, however, reveals that he has, in fact, not understood or learned. Which is why this book is so important to find a male readership (it should be noted that in South Korea, female celebrities faced strong backlash for promoting it to a much larger and more aggressive degree than male celebrities such as BTS did for backing it). Cho Nam-joo is making a very valid point that men may never truly understand it and will likely always fail to fully grasp it, but they need to always struggle to understand it even when it is pointed out that they have failed (a large part of anti-racism work for white people is framed this way as well).

The framing of the novel, as mentioned, is a really genius choice. Written as if it were a clinical case study, the detached and matter-of-fact narration allows the reader to see the events without emotional slant that could be dismissed as hysteria (gonna bring that back in because, honestly, that is a common attack) or bias. When seen clinically there is no excuse to look away or dismiss, and she really just wants us to listen to women (being believed is a major problem). This also gives a great opportunity for her to cite sources right within the text and provide factual information to strengthen the narrative. The technique touches on how often women aren’t believed, and a similar approach of putting citations right there on the page was used by Claudia Rankine in her recent book Just Us: An American Conversation for similar purposes.

‘The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all.’

While much of this sounds rather heavy--and it is and should be--there is a note of hope in the narrative. In many episodes, particularly those from Jiyoung’s childhood, collective resistance has helped change policy. When the girls stand up to the teacher for unfair lunch rules, the teacher changes them and sees they are correct. Resistance to the dress code helps make it more lax for girls (though not equally). There is strength in numbers, though sometimes this also garners backlash. When a group of girls attacks the local flasher who frequently reveals himself to the school through the windows, they are chastised as having brought shame upon the school even though they stopped a public sexual offender. Later when women at Jiyoung’s former workplace rally together against an incident where a man has hidden a camera in the restroom and the male coworkers were sharing the photos, the women are admonished for creating a hostile work culture and asked to think of the families of their coworkers they are harming by pressing for justice. ‘The fact that they have families and parents,’ one woman states, ‘is why they shouldn’t do these things, not why we should forgive them.’. This idea that he men are the true victims for being called to account for their transgressions is central to Dr. Manne’s theory of himpathy.

Sure, I said most of what happens in this book isn’t extreme examples for a purpose. Perhaps I’d think a bathroom camera was extreme but during my years working for a Metro Park during college a man was arrested for wearing a scuba suit and hiding in women’s pit toilets to photograph them. Yet the local conversation was about how he was 'a family man' and 'not that bad'. This sort of himpathetic treatment holds an umbrella for abuse all the time. It also seems to value the discomfort of the perpetrator due to their own actions over the violation of their victims. Or, as Nam-joo writes ‘While offenders were in fear of losing a small part of their privilege, the victims were running the risk of losing everything.’.

I could make a strong case for Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 to be required reading, and its easily flowing narrative and accessibility honestly would make it a great selection for high school reading. These subjects are important and it is really encouraging to see a book like this garner international support. This book is uncomfortale but all the better opportunity for growth. The backlash and claims of misandry--much like with Mieko Kawakami's Breasts and Eggs--only seem to prove it's point. Jiyoung is the voice of women everywhere asking to be heard, to be believed, to be respected and to be treated fairly. It’s about time we listen.

4.75/5

Reading_ Tamishly

Rating: really liked it
*I didn't know there's a movie adaptation as well.


*As reviewed in September 2020:

Just before reading this book, I was confused if it's a fiction or a non-fiction. But I did not even check because I am glad it turned out to be both!

The story is fictionalized but there are facts mentioned in between with references when it comes to Korea's history of sex ratios, definite important acts and changes made in relation to female/girl child education, their rights and similar important data.

The story has been so well presented with the contents starting from Autumn, 2015 and then goes on to describe the childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, marriage, and life of our main character, Kim Jiyoung, as in 2016 as the closing chapter.

This book delivered more than what I had anticipated. The writing is amazing, the book is well-prepared and the characters have been represented with utmost care and reality.

Not all books on feminism or women upliftment deals with violence, abuse or such as this book has shown. But it also shows how harmful and disturbing it gets when girls get discriminated starting the moment they get born, in matters of what they eat, getting education, jobs, marriage when compared to the male siblings.

The best lesson I could learn from this story is the fact that we women start making all this assumptions and enforce these beliefs more upon ourselves.

What I didn't expect was the severe mental health consequences the character had to go through in the story.

I wonder if the in-laws and the relatives would behave the same way if it was her husband who suffered the same condition.

Love this book. Lots of life lessons! Women be growing up strong like that inspite the various restrictions and taboos slapped onto us.

This Korean translated book is slowly gaining hype because it's good! And yes, good books cannot hide 💯

Someone at Instagram and Facebook (account name: hygge_with_book) plagiarized this whole review of mine until the last 💯 smiley (it's too much 😑) and posted the same in April 2021 there.

I came to know about it today as one of my friends here notified me about it.

Just stop stealing.

Yun

Rating: really liked it
In Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982, Jiyoung recently quit her job to care full time for her newborn daughter. But something is wrong, as she starts to take on the voices of other women, both alive and dead, in her life. What follows is the account of Jiyoung's life, all that led up to that moment, from the view of her psychiatrist. Through it, we see the systematic and casual misogyny and sexism that has shaped Jiyoung her entire life.

Reading this felt both shocking and familiar. I wish I could say this book surprised me, being from a different culture and a slightly different time, but it didn't. The things mentioned in here are all known to me, either from my own personal experiences or through current events. I think any female reader, no matter the background, will see similarities with their own life. That's what makes this book so powerful and also terribly discouraging.

I didn't rate this book higher because it doesn't feel like a properly fleshed-out story to me. Rather, the dispassionate and sparse prose, mixed in with the gender statics, felt more like a long article. A lot of events are told, rather than shown, since it's written as if the psychiatrist is summarizing Jiyoung's life instead of fully fleshing out all the events and details. Also, I'm not sure Jiyoung taking on other women's voices really worked for me as a plot device. It feels like it was glossed over pretty quickly in the beginning and not very well explained at the end.

Still, this book leaves a lot of food for thought. Jiyoung's culture was making strides in sexism and misogyny, and yet, is the attitude towards women all that different between Jiyoung's generation and her mother's? Yes, overt sexism is slowly being legislated away, but it's the casual misogyny of every day life that lingers: this expectation that women need to work more for the same opportunities, that they need to be smarter to be even seen as competent, that they need to sacrifice all in order to raise a family and contribute financially. For all the progress of the modern world, we are still so far from gender equality.

emma

Rating: really liked it
I feel like I wanna sign a petition. Or set something on fire.

Usually I read as an escape (this is another way of saying I dread being alone with my thoughts), and therefore my feelings about or surrounding what I read is more relevant to the fictional world I just left than the real world I am returning to. One exception to this is my favorite theme ever (people are lovely and everyday life is filled with heart-wrenching beauty), but otherwise it's almost what I look for.

This book was the opposite.

Honestly, as a story, I didn't find this that compelling. The writing didn't do much for me, I already forget the characters, and there was no real plot to speak of.

But for what it exemplifies, and for what it has accomplished, it's easily 4 stars.

While this is a work of fiction, in my consumption of it and in the role it plays (for me and generally) it's more, in effect, like an article.

And I love a longform article.

Bottom line: One of a kind! I think.

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currently-reading updates

my new thing is getting my book recommendations from cool girls on instagram who call them stuff like "sad girl reads"

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reading books by asian authors for aapi month!

book 1: kim jiyoung, born 1982

Lisa of Troy

Rating: really liked it
If you call yourself a feminist or if you if want to understand how women experience the world, pick up this book!

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 follows the story of one Korean woman as she experiences the world as a female.

This is a short read that packs a big punch, and these stories are needed. Too often I hear, "Women have the same opportunities as men." Well, let's talk about that.

I was born in 1985, 3 years before Kim Jiyoung in the United States. When I was a freshman in high school, the pervy male gym teacher decided that he would give the female students a "sit-up test." The class of about 50 was called up an alphabetical order. The Perv would pin us to the ground with his body, rubbing our legs and looking up our shorts. One of the young ladies drew blood from her arms and had tears streaming down her face. Luckily, it wasn't my turn that day, but I did go home and tell my dad, asking him for a note to excuse me. Without hesitating, he wrote a note excusing me from any "sit-up test". But he didn't stop there. In the morning, he came into school with me and stopped at the office. His big booming voice was heard ringing through the school, "You don't even want this!" before he was quickly ushered into a more interior room. As the day went on, my friends and I were talking about the upcoming gym class, and many of the young ladies wanted to borrow my note. Once gym time came around, The Perv had to be faced away from the young ladies, the female gym teacher performed the tests, pointing away from The Perv, and the athletic director was on hand to supervise that The Perv wasn't doing anything fishy. As I didn't need my note, I put it away and performed the exercise with the rest of the young women. My father saved all of the young women that he could. At the time, I think it a triumph, a happy ending. But is it? Why was my father the only parent yelling in the office that morning? Why didn't the other young ladies produce notes from their parents? Why wasn't there 50 screaming parents in the office? 1) There is an environment where young women don't feel that they can speak up. 2) Swift, immediate and strong action need to happen. My father never once doubted me or blamed me. He didn't say, "Oh, you must be mistaken" or "What were you wearing?"

In the workplace, I have also felt the sting of discrimination. When the auto industry collapsed here in Michigan, my graduation date just so happened to coincide with the downturn in the economy. I was told that I didn't need a job because my father would support me. I was offered jobs that paid $100 per week and didn't pay on time. When I was trying to move up the corporate ladder, I noticed that men would fill up the offices. The one female in an office was demoted. The male executive would get in an exciting project, and he would deliver it to another one of his male colleagues because it was more comfortable working with people who looked just like him. Of course if you asked this male executive if he was sexist, he would say "Of course not!" However, all of the choice, high-value assignments were going to males.

What does that have to do with Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982? This book documents Kim Jiyoung's journey through school, college, her career, marriage, and motherhood. Some of her experiences will echo my own; however, I wanted to share a little bit of what life is like in the US for women. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows yet.

Overall, pick this book up! I wished that I read this ages ago. Highly Recommend!

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Elle

Rating: really liked it
One of my Top Ten Books of 2020!

I’ve been saving this one for a time when I could handle the impending rage-read. I don’t think anyone is ever really going to be “ready” for this kind of patriarchal bitchslap, though, so I’m just gonna wade into it.



I’d also like to take a moment to apologize to my Kindle, which I shook, tossed and slammed in frustration so often whilst reading that it’s probably going to take out a restraining order against me. I didn’t know so much unspoken fury could live in such a small book. It’s not even 200 pages.

This novella starts at the end, where we meet Kim Jiyoung as an adult. She’s married and has a young daughter, but is slowly losing her mind. We observe her from an outside perspective, through whispered discussions between her husband and in-laws. Then the story takes us back to the beginning, when Jiyoung was born in 1982. Following her from childhood, through adolescence into adulthood, what’s striking isn’t how distinct or special she is, but how ordinary. Her life, with all of its mundane injustices, is instantly recognizable to every woman that’s reading. They’re Korean characters in a Korean setting, but much of the experiences are universal.

“The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all.”

I feel like if I tried to summarize all of the things this book touched on, this review would be longer than the text itself. But suffice to say that Kim Jiyoung, and the women she represents, have had the decks stacked against them from the beginning. From the first moments of her life, where her mother apologized to her mother-in-law for having a daughter, to the subtle and blatant ways boys were coddled and favored while girls were shoved into the background in childhood, is it really any wonder what kind of adults they became?

It’s positively sinister what we convince ourselves is normal. What we convince ourselves we want and choose, as if the societal expectations put on us from birth aren’t nudging us one way or another. It makes me angry and it makes me sad. Worst of all it makes me doubt my own feelings and motivations. This type of realization has the potential to be completely debilitating. And the fact that Jiyoung would be only ten years older than me is seriously fucking with my head. This isn’t a Black Mirror episode, this isn’t a dystopian futuristic novel; it’s here and now.

Honestly, the most devastating part for me was the footnotes. Any time the author referenced a statistic about Korean gender imbalance, she attached the relevant study. It’s one thing to cite these numbers, but the inclusion of the data to back them up just reinforces their stark existence. Plus, I can’t help but wonder if she felt compelled to do so because she expected male readers to doubt her words and experiences. Women don’t really need to have these facts proven to us; we’ve lived them.

My favorite thing about this book was how much it pissed people off. The controversy it stirred in Korea when first published just demonstrates how much discussions on these topics are overdue. As of 2016, South Korea was the worst ‘developed’ nation to be a working woman. (And btw, this isn’t an opportunity to dunk on another country for being ‘worse’ at something than us, because it’s not like America is known for it’s generous parental leave policy.) Famous Korean women who said they read the book were lobbed with criticism, while their male counterparts mostly escaped scrutiny. The actress cast as Jiyoung in the movie adaptation was bombarded with hate online. By trying to rebuff critique, the misogynist parts of society only succeeded in proving Cho Nam-Joo’s points.

Like that article on The Lily that’s been circulating the past couple of days has pointed out, most of the onus for maintaining the status quo falls on the men who let it happen. Whether it’s Ginetta Sagan, “Silence in the face of injustice is complicity with the oppressor”, or Lizzo, “Why men great ‘til they gotta be great?”, it’s clear these aren’t cases of isolated ignorance—it‘s systemic and widespread. Men need to speak up for women when it matters, even when nobody else is watching.

Basically, listen to Rihanna:



**For more book talk & reviews, follow me on Instagram at @elle_mentbooks!

Sooyoun

Rating: really liked it
Main character of this book is one year younger than me. And I am born and raise in Korea, that means a lot of her experience is very similar with my own.
When I was young, I was young and naive like every other single human being so I didn’t even realize how many things are unfair even cruel.

When I was growing up my grandmother used to tell me all the time whenever I made small mistakes “ How can you be this clumsy even you are woman???”- and of course my younger brother never hear it.
Always I had more house work and have to help my mom because i am woman, and they said I am such a good girl to doing so.

I had countless experience about sexual abuse in Korea like in subway or bus someone’s touching.
even when I was 14, i was in subway ride with my friend-not too many people and that was around 4 pm for reference-one strange old guy was upset to me because I was not nice enough to him-I cannot even remember how that start!! But he was stranger!!-and he start lecture to me and keep finger poking my chest area while he was talking.
I said stop but no one listened.

And how many times I’ve seen that random pervert’s private area in public?? Sometimes they were asking directions inside their car in street or just watching me from bushed near playground.
Is that all happen because I was not careful enough???
Oh...I don’t think so.

And they are always said I have to be sweet cute beautiful and nice polite girl. AND study hard to be successful women!! How can I be all this?? I am just one human.

Also a lot of my friends growing up together who were very bright and smart now have kids. Some of them still working feel very guilty for their children because they can’t spend enough time with them but somehow their husband doesn’t feel that way.
And some become housewife, curious about why they had to went through all that crazy education?- korea we were pretty crazy about our study when I growing up, I stayed school until 10 pm when I was high school. Start 7 am...

Too many things I want to talk about this book, but i have to say this is very well written and make me feel that I am not alone.

Dr. Appu Sasidharan

Rating: really liked it
This book tells the story of Kim Jiyoung, a millennial woman living in a small apartment in Seoul.

She had to sacrifice her career to look after her child. Her husband shows her to a Psychiatrist when she starts showing symptoms of psychosis. We can see her telling her entire life to the Psychiatrist in this book.

The author discusses about almost all the problems faced by women in Korea. This book gets a global appeal as all the problems, including sexism, she is trying to discuss are also the problems women face globally.

What I learned from this book
1) Maternal love.
Maternal love is one of the purest forms of love, and mothers are the only people who will stay with us at any time of crisis. But it is sad to see people misusing it, as mentioned in this book, hurting all mothers in the name of maternal love.

"People who pop a painkiller at the smallest hint of a migraine, or who need anesthetic cream to remove a mole, demand that women giving birth should gladly endure the pain, exhaustion, and mortal fear. As if that's maternal love. This idea of "maternal love" is spreading like religious dogma. Accept Maternal Love as your Lord and Savior, for the Kingdom is near"

2) What does it mean to be "ladylike"?
I am a person who prefers to use gender-inclusive nouns like humankind instead of mankind. It is disheartening to see females being controlled right from their childhood by teaching them how to behave "ladylike" even in this century. The author is meticulously discussing this topic in this book.

A similar term used by few male chauvinists is ‘woman’s touch' to the job and good-wife material. I never allow anyone to use these regressive terms in the conversations I am participating in.

Some people will be confused about why they should support feminism if they prefer to use gender-inclusive terms. They should instead support humanism or egalitarianism. This question arises only because of not understanding the true meaning of feminism. Feminism doesn't just mean equality between all genders; it primarily seeks to return to women everything they were denied for generations. This is why it's called feminism and not egalitarianism.

"Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be "ladylike." That it's your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It's your fault for not noticing and not avoiding."

3) How to balance maternity and career?
This is yet another serious topic that needs in-depth discussion. This topic alone makes this book a must-read one for all men as the men are those who have serious misconceptions on this topic.

"Just as putting the care of your child in another's hands doesn't mean you don't love your child, quitting and looking after your child doesn't mean you have no passion for your career."

4) Helping out.
In the earlier hunter-gatherer society, men were hunters (due to their extra physical strength), and women used to cook food. But it is absurd to continue this practice even now when both men and women have an equal role in the family. A husband should never use the term helping out to his wife. Yeah, never, not even once.

“Help out? What is it with you and 'helping out?' You're going to 'help out' with chores. 'Help out' with raising our baby. 'Help out' with finding me a new job. Isn't this your house, too? Your home? Your child? And if I work, don't you spend my pay, too? Why do you keep saying 'help out' like you're volunteering to pitch in on someone else's work?"

5) Female infanticide
Female infanticide is one of the cruel practices carried out in some parts of the world. Prenatal gender determination is against the law in some countries only due to this reason.

"This was a time when the government had implemented birth control policies called "family planning" to keep population growth under control. Abortion due to medical problems had been legal for ten years at that point, and checking the sex of the fetus and aborting females was common practice, as if "daughter" was a medical problem."

My favourite three lines from this book

“Her boss grumbled, "This is why we don't hire women." She replied, "Women don't stay because you make it impossible for us to stay."

"In a world where doctors can cure cancer and do heart transplants, there isn't a single pill to treat menstrual cramps.' Her sister pointed at her own stomach. 'The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.”

“Girls don't need special treatment -- they just want the same responsibilities and opportunities. Instead of choosing the lunch menu, they want to run for president.”

What could have been better?
The writing style of this book could have been better. Some readers might find it pretty flat in some areas when the author is trying to focus our attention on some serious topics.

Rating
4/5 This is one of the few books that I recommend to everyone, irrespective of age, sex, and reading preferences.

Pearl Ju

Rating: really liked it
If you are a woman living in Korea, I recommend reading this book in your room alone with tissues because I am positive at least once you will show tears with sympathy. Due to unconscious sexual discrimination, women bear their own wounds in their memories. Although in Korean history, women work for a living, they were treated as a person who only did housework and men weren't willing to help any housework. It well describes the ordinary women's lives under the male-dominated society.

daph pink ♡

Rating: really liked it
Kim Ji Young embodies all women. She is a combination of you, me, and her. I was angry and ill after finishing the book. The book captures the common daily life experiences of women who are subjected to systematic sexism and misogyny, whether at work, at home, or anywhere else, and how it has been trivialized since childhood. I was expecting a more heartfelt emotional story, but the story's dry tone makes it more relevant and powerful. The lack of a face on the cover is due to the fact that the woman may be anyone, including you, me, or her, because we've all been in similar situations at some point in our lives. The author backed her story with several footnotes and stats to remind us that THIS IS NOT FICTION. This is a fucking reality. That ending of the book was supposed to be a ray of hope but the saying goes here as well MEN WILL BE MEN. It was unexpected ending and a harsh reality. A must read or everyone and their is a movie version as well which I am so excited to watch.

Tatiana

Rating: really liked it
Different country, same old sexist bullshit. A tale painfully familiar, just set in a foreign land.

This is a short, odd South Korean novel about gender politics. It's a strange mix of fictional life story of one woman moving through the men-dominated and men-focused world, and socio-economic facts and statistics. The structure is explained later in the novel, but even in this semi-lecture form lacking artistic finesse, it's a tremendously informative work for anyone curious about other countries. It helped me to understand some peculiarities of all the South Korean pop-culture content I keep binging on. Or why South Korea has the lowest birth rate in the world.

Read it.

Thomas

Rating: really liked it
Appreciated this novel’s thorough portrayal of the entrenched sexism in South Korean society. Cho Nam-Joo shows how patriarchy pervades every facet of South Korean life: the ways parents and teachers devalue girls and idolize boys, how employers discriminate against women both in the application process and on the job, and how women’s careers both outside of the household and within the household are limited and not given their actual monetary value. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 felt like a mixture of “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and The Vegetarian by Han Kang, especially because of how the author shows how Kim Jiyoung’s mental health is affected by the sexism she encounters in accumulating doses throughout her life. If anything, this book reinforces how structures of oppression – in this case, patriarchy – burrow into people’s hearts and souls, such that anyone who cares about mental health should also care about dismantling societal injustices too.

I give this book three stars just because I felt distant from the characters and their emotions and relationships. I feel like this novel did an excellent job of portraying sexism and its consequences, though I wanted more depth from various characters and relationships. I am not implying that the characters felt unrealistic – the complete obliviousness and complicity of so many men in this novel felt so apt and well-described – rather I wanted more insight about the main character’s relationships with her siblings or if those relationships disappeared after the main character had her first child. Or the author could have allocated more time spent to the main character’s feelings surrounding grief and loss of the opportunities she could have had if not for sexism. Perhaps these aspects of the novel were lost in the translation of the novel though. Thus I would still recommend Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 for those interested in learning more about sexism and patriarchy in South Korea.