User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
This took a bit to get into but I don’t think I stopped smiling for the last 100 pages. Delightful, messy, and perfect. I cannot wait to see what Tanya Boteju writes next.
Rating: really liked it
3.5 stars.
Tanya Boteju's debut novel,
Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens is an unabashedly charming book about finding yourself and being true to who you are. It's a book with humor, sensitivity, and so much heart, and it definitely left me with a smile on my face. (It's much less conspicuous to smile on a plane while reading rather than cry your eyes out!)
Nima Kumara-Clark has just finished her junior year of high school, but she doesn't see much excitement on the horizon this summer outside of hanging out with her best friend, Charles. She's longing for something to shake her life up, and given that she's spent a few years nursing an obsessive love for Ginny, her straight best friend, it doesn't appear that love is in the cards for her either.
One night during the local summer festival, she has a chance encounter with Deidre, a drag queen, who takes her to her first drag show. Nima is quickly taken under Deidre's wing, and she feels tremendously comfortable for the first time in her life, which is a change from her usual awkwardness. She is also utterly unprepared for the way the show makes her feel, especially when she sees a performance by Winnow, a sexy drag king.
"With each passing moment, I'd get that feeling you sometimes have the moment you're about to flip the final page of a really good book, when your anticipation for what happens next overwhelms you, but you also know that turning the page means you're closer to an end. This was a story I didn't want to end."
It seems as if Winnow shares the same attraction and feelings for Nima once the two meet. Nima has been disappointed too many times before, and she's not sure if she's ready to fully acknowledge her sexuality or let her guard down again. But she's also unafraid to let another opportunity to find love pass her by.
As Nima's friendship with Deidre deepens, and her interest in Winnow grows (as does the number of awkward encounters between them), she also has to deal with a number of other issues—Charles' jealousy of this new "life" she has found, the confusing behavior and mood swings of a childhood friend-turned-bully, and the re-emergence of her mother, who left Nima and her father more than a year ago with no explanation. It's a lot of emotional pressure for a young woman on the cusp of embracing her true self and taking the first few steps toward self-acceptance.
Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens is a fun read, and some of the characters are so tremendously vivid that they capture your heart. There's so much spirit in this book, but there's also a lot of emotion, as the characters have to come to terms with their identity, acknowledge the pain caused by others, and find the courage to step outside their comfort zone.
I enjoyed this book very much, and read it during the course of a plane ride. I did feel there were many issues that were left unresolved, including what was going on with Gordon, and Nima's relationship with her mother. That was a little frustrating. I also wasn't really sure about Deidre—was she a drag queen, a trans woman, or something else? I can only hope that Boteju might have a follow-up book planned to provide some answers.
Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens will leave you smiling, humming, and, depending on where you are when you're reading this, dancing. This book is full of positivity and hopefully, when it falls into the right hands, may help lots of teenagers and adults begin the journey toward self-acceptance.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2018 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2018.html.
You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
Rating: really liked it
*This arc was provided by Simon Pulse via Netgalley in return for my honest review.*
"With each passing moment, I'd get that feeling you sometimes have the moment you're about to flip the final page of a really good book, when your anticipation for what happens next overwhelms you, but you also know that turning the page means you're closer to an end. This was a story I didn't want to end."I kinda didn't want this story to end because saying goodbye to such vibrant, leap off the page, characters sucks. I really loved Nima, and her father and Jill (her mother's best friend), and Charles, and DeeDee, and Winnow, and Gordon (trust me, you'll get there too). The cast of characters in this novel are so rich and wonderful and their fight to figure themselves out, to carve a place in the world for themselves that feels right and safe is so stunningly raw and real.
"How to explain to her how terrifying this all was without seeming young, and ridiculous, and pathetic? To explain how much I wanted to her to like me, despite my fear there wasn't enough worth liking?"Nima is queer but has never really put a label on herself, and that's totally fine. What isn't okay is the other people in town who like to yell out that she's a dyke or a lesbian and assign her labels before she's even decided on one for herself. Throughout this novel she's trying to figure out where she feels the safest on the gender spectrum as well as in her comfort level within the queer community. This is such a vulnerable look at being overwhelmed by such a diverse, rich, and vibrant community and finding your place within it.
The drag queens, Deirdre in particular, and the kings as well (Winnow has my heart) are so welcoming and patient with her. Nima explores her gender and sexuality through drag, through engagement in the community, and it's really fun and sometimes cringe-worthy to watch. It's not easy diving into a world that is so nuanced and she messes up a bit before getting it "right".
Throughout the novel, all characters show so much respect for one another. They take notice of pronouns used, how people identify and are open about asking when they are unsure. Winnow as a love interest is the actual best in that she communicates clearly, is open to Nima being new to the larger community, and patient with her even as Nima freaks out and pushes her away. She's an actual angel.
"The only thing about bliss is that it's sometimes accompanied by ignorance."Also as the heart of this story is Nima and her relationship with her mother who left over a year ago without much explanation. Okay, pretty much no explanation, just a note that said she had to leave. Turns out that even if your parents look like they're madly in love there could be a ton going on you don't see. Nima's father is pretty much the greatest, he's a mumu wearing hippie and he's got my heart as well, but she wants her mother around, too. Who wouldn't? Unfortunately, this is the one aspect of the book that I feel like was underdeveloped and not done as well as it could have been. I gave this book 5 stars cause it really was the best look at this topic and the world of drag that I've read (okay, the only but I really enjoyed it) but it's probably a 4.25 or 4.5 in reality.
Her mother's got her own set of issues, her own identity and crap to figure out and I get that but there's a lot that could have been addressed in this book that never happens in terms of their relationship. Also, while I enjoyed her relationship with Jill (her mother's best friend) there were unresolved issues with her that I felt could have/should have been handled better, also. Plus, her father should have been involved more in some of the issues surrounding her mother and more
dialogue between Nima and him would have been beneficial.
"But above all, I honor all those young people who live beyond the so-called "norm" you're beautiful and magical and perfect. This book is for you."Most importantly, this is a novel by an author who is queer, who did drag in their youth, and who knows the community. They have personal experience to lend to the storytelling that makes it come alive because it's their story to tell. I haven't ever read about kings before but I loved learning more about the drag community through Nima's eyes. There's a lot of complexity within it and it overwhelmed her but because she kept an open mind and had a desire to know more...she learned and the reader can learn along with her. I adore that this story exists in a world where it can be read, enjoyed, and respected.
Trigger warnings for domestic abuse, slurs against the queer community (mostly challenged), underage drinking and binge drinking, and abandonment by a parent.
Rating: really liked it
I loved the depiction of drag, the first blush of meeting other queer people, and exploring your place in the LGBTQ community. At times this YA about little awkward baby dyke Nima really brought me back to that period in my life. I loved the supportive adults in Nima's life: her hippie dad, lesbian family friend Jill, and drag mentor Deirdre. But: the plot about her mom who's abandoned her was underdeveloped and the characterization of Deirdre was confused: she's constantly referred to as a drag queen but it's also clear she presents as a woman all the time and she's never referred to as a trans woman. I also thought she felt too much like a stereotypical performing Black drag queen instead of a real person? Full review on my blog!
Rating: really liked it
WHOA WHOA WHOA. HOLD UP.
did someone just say
biracial queer girl because THAT’S ME AND I’M ALL FOR IT.
Rating: really liked it
Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens is a contemporary story following Nima Kumara-Clark, a
biracial Sri Lankan lesbian, as she learns the benefits of going out of her comfort zone through the local drag scene.
I have read a lot of queer books, but none of them prominently featured drag performers. In this novel, the main character, the love interest, and various side characters have been drag performers at some point.
With every year we get more YA books about so many different sides of the queer experience, and I'm so glad that's the case.
This novel has a slice-of-life feel to it. It's slow-paced, it's kind of open-ended on some sides, and more than everything, it's messy. But the messiness is one of its strengths, in a way, and while me and Nima didn't have a lot in common, I could definitely understand her. She's awkward, she makes a lot of bad decisions, she is... imperfect in so many ways, and I loved her for that. If you're the kind of person who needs teen girls to be perfect, I really don't recommend this, because
Nima makes so many mistakes. As teens do.
I especially liked seeing
how insecure she was, how she felt what I call "queer imposter syndrome", because there are moments in which she sees herself as far too bland to even have the right to interact with other queer people. (By the way: answering that your hobby is reading and, when asked for more details, saying that your hobby is reading novels is something I've done. It's what people who have been mocked for their "boring/weird" hobbies or have this specific insecurity would do. Being vague is a shield.)
Also:
Maybe I was assuming too much. I could be making up any interest on her part. Why in the world would she be interested in me? She was probably just being friendly. She seemed really friendly.
Nima is such an awkward lesbian icon. I love her, and I loved her narrative voice, for the most part - but if you plan to go into this, keep in mind that it's often
overdramatic. To make a few examples of weird, emphatic figures of speech in her narration:
"I swallowed my heart back into my chest"
"my heart played hopscotch around my chest"
"her teeth took up her entire face" (...what)
"I had a whole mob of butterflies flapping around in my stomach"
"made my heartbeat quicken until I thought she might actually be able to see it through my chest"
"I could feel a heart attack coming on"
"I woke up feeling like someone was making scrambled eggs in my stomach"
And more. It got distracting at times, especially since I don't love this kind of writing, but for Nima's personality, it made sense. But my personal favorite was this one:
That was pee-your-pants kind of nervous. This—this was shit-your-pants kind of nervous
As you can see, she's a poet, and has such a way with words.
But, surprisingly, all of this ended up feeling endearing more than annoying.As I said before, I saw this book as slice-of-life. I say this because
a few aspects of this could feel lacking in closure, but I don't necessarily agree. This is Nima's story, what her mom is doing isn't relevant to her - realizing that it isn't relevant to her is one of the plot points. And I liked Gordon's storyline. He's a side character who has a lot of internalized queerphobia and is struggling because of toxic masculinity, but who is also dealing with bodily dysphoria - and it's implied that he might be trans, even though by the end of the book he's either still figuring himself out or not ready to come out to people. In any case, it wasn't Nima's business: what mattered, what gave closure to the storyline to me, is that by the end they were friends again.
In a way,
the ending felt more like a hopeful beginning than an ending, and I really liked that about it. It reminded me a bit of
The Gallery of Unfinished Girls: the book might have ended here, but Nima and her friends have a whole life ahead of them. Because of this, and
because of how messy this book was, everything felt more real to me.
However, while the drag queen Deirdre is unambiguously a black trans woman, I would have loved if this book had used the word trans even just once. For something that is named
Kings, Queens and In-Betweens, this book was surprisingly binarist at times, by not acknowledging non-binary trans people explicitly and using
some binarist phrasings here and there.
Another thing I didn't love was the writing, and not for Nima's awkward metaphors, but because of the
complete lack of atmosphere or sense of setting. I know she's supposed to live in boringland, but I had no idea how anything looked like.
I also had mixed feelings about the romance: the love interest, Winnow (who is biracial Japanese), is one of the less developed characters, and there's
a significant age gap (3-4 years I think) that didn't make that much sense to me, especially considering that Nima reads even younger than her age at times. But as this book doesn't really focus on it - the romance is more of a motivation for Nima to get into the drag scene, in a way - it didn't bother me too much (...maybe because I've read a book with a truly uncomfortable and weird age gap a week ago and this is nothing confronted with that? I don't know.)
Rating: really liked it
Ugh, this book took me soooo long to get through! (I guess you could say it…
dragged. Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)
When I first heard about this book, I knew it was a must-read for this year's Pride Month. You don't come across many, if
any, books about drag culture in YA. And not only were we getting a book about drag queens, but one with drag
kings as well, which also isn't seen or discussed too often in mainstream LGBTQ+, so I was doubly excited to learn more about drag kings. Also, just look at that cover! I was
so here for a YA contemporary about drag culture from page one to the very end.
... Unfortunately, to my great disappointment, the drag content in this novel was surprisingly lacking and not a hugely central part of the plot. Like, I wouldn't say this book is even
about drag. The plot is more focused around our protagonist, Nima, as she faces and grapples with a host of other things: having a crush on a girl named Winnow, her friendship with Charles, her feelings toward her mother who left when she was younger, and her brooding classmate Gordon who has more to his own story than meets the eye. These are all ultimately what Nima is going through in her small town and what makes up the main plot, while the drag aspect at best is more of a plot device that helps to propel the story forward, even though it’s really not what’s at the center of the story.
Just to put this into perspective: it took until page 258 out of 369 for Nima's first real experience with drag to happen. That is way too far into the book for this to be the first pivotal drag moment! But that's what I mean: it felt like it took
so long for anything relating to drag to
actually happen, so I would just be reading and reading and reading, waiting for the drag aspect to inevitably enter the plot. I mean, there's a small introductory drag scene at the very beginning of this book, and then for the longest time... nothing. All that we get after that is Nima befriending a drag queen named Deidre, who basically acts as Nima's drag fairy godmother and helps Nima in times of need and ultimately helps her gain more confidence. So yeah, she's definitely a very present character throughout the novel. But again, to me it's not enough that a drag queen is just
there in the story because that doesn't necessarily make a book
about drag. I especially got bored of reading about Nima dealing with these other things—which were mostly very melodramatic, typical teenage miseries—when I really just wanted to read about drag culture.
I also just didn't feel that there was a very deep conversation about drag in this book? Like, yes, the presence of drag was there, and maybe they skimmed the surface just baaarely on really having an open dialogue about drag, but it could've been
so much more. I wanted this book to talk about the
history of drag and how drag kings/queens got to where they are today. I wanted a truly open and honest discussion of the different ways one can do drag and how gender comes into play and what it all
means to that person (Again, skiiiming the surface but needing so much more). I just felt that what we
did get of drag from this book was pretty... standard? It was very typical, very RuPaul's Drag Race. I felt like anyone could've written this book without having had any drag experience or even identified as a drag king/queen themselves.
One more thing I'll say regarding the drag content in this book: I didn't really see there being a strong connection between Nima and drag culture as it related to her. Like, usually when someone connects strongly to drag culture, it's because it sparks a feeling that person has regarding their own gender identity / gender presentation—whether that be someone who feels their sense of self encompasses both masculine and feminine traits, whether someone wants to come out of their shell and explore their gender expression in more masculine or feminine ways, etc. But with Nima, there wasn't really any innate part of herself that naturally gravitated toward drag as it related to her own identity. She kind of just stumbled upon it, thought, "Wow, this looks fun," and gradually found herself becoming a part of this world by association (Deidre) and gradually found the courage to perform for herself, which helped to boost her confidence as a formerly overall awkward, timid teenager.
That's basically it. I didn't get a sense that any part of her gender identity or especially sexuality (she likes girls) came into play, which sort of makes her involvement with it less meaningful? It would've been one thing if she were gay/queer and always felt there was a part of her that wasn't strictly within the confines of the gender binary—like let's say she leaned more toward masculinity and being butch—and she found drag, which gives her the push she needed to bend gender in the way that speaks to her. That would make this a
whole other book, one which I kind of went in hoping it would be! But sadly, no. She just happens upon drag, it looks fun and like something that would push her out of her comfort zone, and so she does it. And because Nima doesn't really have any connections with drag in regard to gender identity/expression, it kind of comes across as Nima coming into this as an outsider, who doesn't truly know anything about drag or its history or its impact on the LGBTQ+ community. So her involvement in it doesn't hit the particular mark that it could have, had she come from a place of yearning to branch out of her typical gender expression.
Other Things---I honestly didn’t care for Gordon. It’s one of those classic character arcs where you have the brooding, angsty classmate who presents himself to the world as the biggest jerk, but it’s clear that he has other burdens, whether it’s his home life or his own internal struggle. Then the veil lifts, you find out what these hidden parts of him are, and everything becomes so much clearer. Bam, redemption arc! But honestly, even when more of Gordon became known to us… it turned out that under that veil he was still pretty major, homophobic asshole. So like, did he
really have a redemption arc..? Can you even still call it a redemption arc if said character has not redeemed themselves very much and are still basically a horrible person..? Even worse, whenever he would make a homophobic comment, it was just brushed off or met with a halfhearted “Asshole” from Nima. And at one point it almost became like an endearing thing between Nima and Gordon? Like a back and forth banter where he'd make a mean comment and she'd respond with a “Jerk” or “Asshole” but still have a faint smile on her face. Um, I'm sorry. I don't think homophobic comments should be excused so easily??
There's also just the fact that even through the end of the book, we don't get a true sense of closure out of Gordon in terms of what he identifies as and the direction he's going to take. It's
hinted at that he's somewhere on the trans spectrum, as he confesses a few times that he experiences discomfort with the body he's in, which could potentially be gender dysphoria. Whether that means he's transgender, nonbinary, agender... we don't really know. And it's clear as the story progresses that he grows more and more intrigued by drag culture. But does that mean he's going to start pursuing drag?
We don't know. I just feel that his character growth and what becomes of his character at the end of all of this is very lofty and not quite concrete enough for us to feel a satisfying sense of resolution with him—or at least as much satisfaction as we can get from an extremely unlikable character like Gordon.
---There were just a lot of angsty teen moments, especially between Nima and Charles, that I did not care for at all. I hated how immature Charles was about the crush he had in the book and how he essentially cut off his friendship with Nima because it didn’t go well, even though Nima was genuinely going out of her way to try to help him and even as she's going through
so much more in her life beyond Charles’ stupid and fleeting high school crush. In my opinion. Charles was just exceptionally self-absorbed.
Final Thoughts: I just wanted
infinitely so much more from this than I got. I craved a book that celebrates and delves into drag from cover to cover, and all areas of drag: what it represents, its history, and its impact on the world and the LGBTQ+ community. I feel like what I got instead was a very watered down YA contemporary where the protagonist deals with a host of typical teenage problems, and drag culture is more of a subplot that gradually moves from the background to the forefront but still isn't the main overarching plot. It took so long for the drag aspect of the novel to even become present, and when it finally came, it just felt "eh."
My one hope at the end of this is that this novel paves the way for more books about drag culture to come and for this to inspire more writers to create stories about drag—something that is severely lacking but that we desperately need more of.
Rating: really liked it
Full review: https://bookpeopleteens.wordpress.com...
Overall, I really enjoyed
Kings, Queens, an In-Betweens. It was a diversely queer novel, with a fairly original concept and uniquely real characters. Tanya Boteju has a lot of talent, so her future is infinite. My hope for Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens is that it can at least change some people’s mindset regarding the benefits of drag, and introduce young people to a new art form they didn’t know they needed. Rating: three/five
For fans of: Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert, The Love & Lies of Rukhsana Ali by Sabina Khan, Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi
Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/hy6neof...
Rating: really liked it
CW: homophobia, homophobic slurs, bullying, parental abandonmentI picked this up on a whim having no expectations whatsoever and ended up loving it SO MUCH!! This books fills my heart with so much joy because of the wonderfully awkward and shy lesbinan black main character who opens up little by little, the inclusivity of it, the drag scene, the found family aspect and even the romance!!! Everything about it was so good and heartwarming
Rating: really liked it
Maybe an “it’s not you, etc. etc.” type read for me, but I really struggled to get into this. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that, with rare exceptions (God bless you, The Perks of Being a Wallflower), I can’t do YA contemporary. Even if there’s drag in it.
Rating: really liked it
Uhhhhhhhhh
Rating: really liked it
this book was mostly sweet, but also, in parts, very frustrating. spoilers below, but generally: if you're looking for a pretty standard coming-of-age tale, and an #ownvoices story about realizing who you truly are and who you belong with, definitely check this one out! it's very queer and very big-hearted and warm.
-will i read more by this author? yes, definitely, because #ownvoices stories are important, and i think most people will have issues with their debut. but there were some things i found very frustrating, not the least of which was the main character, who spent the entire book repeating how boring and uninteresting and normal and boring and boring she was.
OKAY, SO: SPOILERS BELOW !!!!
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS !!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
the good:
-side characters were very interesting and fun, especially deidre (although more on her later).
-nima's interactions with her dad felt SO real and funny; i've had such similar conversations with my dad, and in general their relationship was positive and fun.
-i also liked nima's nerdy friend charles, and winnow's apartment and roommates, which also felt very keenly realized.
-this book very much did make me want to go see a drag show. the drag scenes were definitely fun and you could tell that they were coming from a place of deep love and admiration for/from the community!
the bad:
-the main thing that really irritated me about this book was its treatment of gender. for a book called "kings, queen and in-betweens," there was only one real non-binary/gnc character: gordon grant. his treatment and general presence in this book really pissed me off, to be honest. it started with an irritatingly on-the-nose "everyone is dealing with their own stuff" kind of plotline, and then, when his gender troubles were revealed, they were brought up so briefly and vaguely that it felt sort of shoved in there for some kind of token representation.
-also, gordon was such an awful dick that it really didn't feel good to me; the one non-binary character is also a horrible bully? and nima feels like she has to be friends with him because compassion and empathy and whatever? it all felt very preachy and high-school-teacher. sometimes, if people are awful to you, you should just get yourself out of that situation. you don't owe it to people spewing slurs at you to unlock their tragic backstory!
-nima is also constantly evaluating people's gender/sex when she meets them. instead of taking drag in the spirit of like, hey, "gender and sex are constructs and we're here to tear these binaries down," i felt that she spent way too much time obsessing about whether someone was a man dressing up as a woman, or a woman dressing up as a man, or whether they were a trans woman or man, "female" or "male," etc. also, there were references to genitalia that made me, as a trans person, veerrryyy uncomfortable! nima's obsession with body parts and medical sex was just squicky, to be honest. she never really had a moment where she reflected that gender was kind of fake, or that maybe, as a lesbian, she could still be attracted to someone who wasn't a cis woman. and i really expected that to happen, because of the drag community, and the title of the book!
-nima herself was also extremely frustrating, and, in general, i would say my main problems with this book were editing problems. it reads like a debut novel, and was mostly enjoyable, but just needed more fine-tuning. and also maybe a trans/non-binary reader to suggest cutting the gordon storyline all together, or at the very least, changing it significantly.
-deidre. as a character, i loved her, but i felt like i wanted to be reading her story instead of nima's. and nima's reliance on her, and her continuing support of nima, were kind of bewildering to me. this woman is a fully-fledged adult with her own problems, yet she was constantly taking care of and fostering nima despite pretty much nothing in return. it felt like a bit uncomfortable to have a black trans woman who is constantly at the beck and call of these kids, and who is literally described in promotional material for this book as a "fairy godmother." black trans women get exoticised and tokenized enough, and it was disappointing to see her constantly get sidelined and described as "magic" and "like a goddess" and what-have-you, because that's language that has been used to fetishize black tran women, especially those who do drag.
ANYWAY. these are nitpicky complaints and that's why i wanted to put them under a cut, so to speak. because i still think you should read this book and/or give it to young queer kids that might be struggling. because it really does do good work to give a coming-of-age tale a queer spin, and that's very important for ya books! so, go forth and read it! and that's all your local cranky trans booktuber has to say.
Rating: really liked it
Synopsis:
Nima's life closely resembles a wildfire. She's in love with a straight girl, her mom split (leaving both her and her loving, goofy dad), and she's bored to death with her life - but when a chance encounter with a dazzling drag queen sends Nima head first into the drag scene, Nima discovers just how incredible - and complicated - life can truly be.
Review:
Are there even enough "wows" or "stars" for this book?! Besides the jaw dropping cover which is *truly* fab, I fell in love with the casual, comedic writing style which flawlessly carries a cast of incredible characters on their singular but conjoined journeys. We have Nima's straight best friend, Charles, who is just as awkward and misfit as Nima himself... Gordon, the sullen bully who is hiding more than anyone imagines... and Deidre, the incredible queen who nurtures and mentors all of these incredibly mixed up characters while also infusing the story with TONS of personality, wild antics, and giggles. I mean, Deidre is responsible for some of the best moments and funniest dialogue in the story.
"Sugar, you will never be-lievethe dexterity of the doctor who gave me these boobs!" Kings, Queens, and In Betweens gives us everything that is missing from many "G" and "L" stories (gay and lesbian). it gives us LGBTQ characters who are of color, questioning, nonbinary/trans, AND it normalizes use of gender neutral pronouns, along with eye opening conversations about the assumptions we make about one another and the boxes we love to squeeze people into. One of my favorite side characters is a very masculine man of ambiguous sexuality who loves to perform drag.
"I just hope you understand, sometimes the clothes do not make the man" I loved seeing rep for a masculine male character who is comfortable wearing makeup and performing femininity. I also fell pretty hard for Nima's dad - who takes it all in stride when Nima begins to hang out with trans individuals and learn about drag culture. I was fully ready for tons of triggering scenes full of transphobia, always waiting for this book to turn into one of the many "queer tragedies" I've read. Instead, it gave me meaningful and complex conversations but tons of laughter and queer characters having fun. I needed that.
I loved Nima most of all. As flawed as she is, I loved watching her figure herself out, and I live for her hilarious and sometimes self deprecating internal dialogue: "
Christ in tights..." "dear god of everything gay.." But I also loved her 'real' moments and her journey. In this book, we get to see her grapple with being forcibly labeled as LGBT+ :
"That was the second time I'd heard 'dyke' over the past few days, both times in reference to me, both times making my heart stagger" but also deal with the generally MORTIFYING moments of embarrassment we all experience as teens:
"I'd had plenty of time to replay the events of the previous night over and over again. Each time, I was able to remember some detail that made the whole situation even more horrifying..." The scenes in which Nima embarrasses herself in front of a crowd or the girl she likes were SO relatable that I had to physically PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND COVER MY FACE.
In short, this book is incredible and I want a sequel. I want to see what happens to Gordon - who has an INCREDIBLE development as a character and who you will love if you enjoy morally ambiguous characters. I want to see what happens to Nima and who she becomes later in life. I NEED A SEQUEL.
Representation and Themes:
1. Trans/Gender non conforming characters and of color
2. Breaking of gender roles
3. Parental abandonment
4. Coming of age
5. drag culture
6. platonic opposite sex friendship
7. healthy father-daughter relationship
8. Non masculine, cis men
9. Queer joy <3 (seeing HAPPY LGBT characters was AMAZING)
My only real critique is that Nima is 17 and is actively being romantically pursued by someone who is at least 21. 17 is the legal age of consent in many states but i still feel the age difference should have been clarified and addressed. Nima and her love interest literally never talk about the age gap and about consent and I felt that was a very important topic that should not have been left out.
Overall, this is a great story. You'll be missing out and doing yourself a great disservice if you fail to read it - so read it.
Rating: really liked it
3.5
Everything about this book was good, but not quite polished enough for me.
My main issue is that not much actually got resolved and left me wondering why the book stopped where it did...Not every plot point of a story needs to be resolved, but most of the interesting ones we spent time going through in this book ended up not being even slightly talked about.
Mostly the mother's story but also Gordon's.
I am VERY interested in getting proper explanations about what's up with them, the repercussions of what they did in the second half of this book.
Also, I even wanted more of the drag scene. I wanted more interaction with Kings and Queens and every other types of people there, how they do their thing, how the shows go on... It's an interesting topic we don't often get in books, especially YA, so I was clearly left needing more of everything.
I'm happy the romance (which isn't the main focus of this book btw) got resolved but that clearly wasn't what interested me the most.
I definitely still recommend this book if you're looking for a young girl letting go of dead roads and finding the road she didn't know she needed until she found it and finally felt at home on it.It's especially nice seeing it through the eyes of a queer biracial 17 year old girl.
Rating: really liked it
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I'm sorry, but I just was not a big fan of this book. I--along with many others--was first interested in the book because of the diversity and amazing representation. This book features a cast of characters of different sexual orientations, gender identities, and ethnicities. The main character is a half-Sri Lankan queer girl, who's friends and love interest are queer people of colour. As a queer girl of colour myself, who binge-watches RuPaul's Drag Race on the regular, I was super excited for this book!
Unfortunately, the representation was the only thing it had going for it. (A few spoilers ahead!!) The writing was fine--I think decent for a debut novel. But some parts were just boring and weren't woven into the story correctly. An example that comes to mind is when Nima had to go to the car wash, and she went into the school to get supplies and spotted Gordon. Obviously, that whole scene was a set up to introduce Gordon's identity struggles, but why did the car wash have to be a thing? It wasn't needed. Scenes that barely contributed to the story were just so long (the whole festival before Winnow is introduced, everything with Ginny considering how insignificant Ginny was, etc). Also, I wasn't particularly drawn to any of the characters. It made me so so uncomfortable that Nima allowed someone literally over ten years older than her to stay at her house overnight after meeting them once! Deidre's age was never revealed until later on in the book, but I don't know, that set off a lot of red flags. I don't care how cool and understanding Deirdre was! A seventeen-year-old doesn't let a 35-year-old stay at their house after meeting them once!!
I didn't enjoy the relationship between Winnow and Nima. Similarly, with Deirdre, the age difference between Nima and Winnow made me uncomfortable. And, to be honest, it wasn't exactly the age difference (it was only four years), but the fact that Winnow was so much more experiences than Nima. The scene where Nima gets drunk with Winnow's friend because she's trying to keep up with the "cool, older kids" really stressed me out because I just felt so bad for the girl. As someone who was just coming to terms with her identity, I don't think it would be beneficial for her to date an older, more experienced girl, who is already sure of herself and her community. While I do think it's an important and common story that a lot of LGBT individuals assimilate into the community by meeting someone older, or more experienced... I really do not see that working for Nima. I think it's great to have an older mentor (like Gordon has with Deirdre), but I wish that Gordon and Nima would have maybe joined together to explore the LGBT community more, rather than Nima dating Winnow.
I knew that Gordon was going to be queer. But, I wanted more out of the whole Gordon plot. Gordon's identity issues were never addressed and quickly glossed over, as if the author hoped the audience would just understand that Gordon was trans?? I honestly don't even know if he is trans because it was not explained at all? It was kind of just hinted. It's really weird how the words "trans" or "transgender" were not used in the story at all considering two important characters are trans! And the thing was, I didn't even realize Dierdre was trans until literally 60% into the story. I don't understand why the identities of the trans people weren't just explained quickly (the readers would have understood!) and instead were just up for interpretation
Lastly, there was so much that was just not resolved. The plot line of Winnow's mother seemed like a bunch of loose ends, the fact that her dad and Jill never got closure, the fact that Ginny-who was apparently one of her best friends in the beginning- kind of disappeared throughout the book, the fact that Gordon's identity issues were not fully explained... these all just seemed like random story points that never got solved.
Besides that, what I did love was Nima's curiosity as she began to find herself and her community. I could definitely understand being in Nima's shoes, and I'm happy she found a chosen family to help her along the way!
