Women Don't Owe You Pretty
Published June 11th 2020 by Cassell, Kindle Edition 193 pages
WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY will tell you to...
love sex, hate sexism,
protect your goddamn energy,
life is short, dump them,
And that you owe men nothing, least of all pretty.
Florence's debut book will explore all progressive corners of the feminist conversation; from insecurity projection and refusing to find comfort in other women's flaws, to deciding whether to date or dump them, all the way through to unpacking the male gaze and how it shapes our identity.
WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY is an accessible leap into feminism, for people at all stages of their journey who are seeking to reshape and transform the way they view themselves. In a world that tells women we're either not enough or too much, it's time we stop directing our anger and insecurities onto ourselves, and start fighting back to re-shape the toxic structures of our patriarchal society.
Florence's book will help you to tackle and challenge the limiting narrative you have been bombarded with your whole life, and determine feminism on your own terms. After all, you are the love of your own life.
User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
3.5
'Women Don't Owe You Pretty' is advertised as an "accessible leap into feminism" and it is exactly that. I already know the majority of stuff Florence Given talks about here, but it was great to be reminded of certain things and be introduced to a couple of new ones that made me think. It's a fantastic book that's well written, easy to read and beautifully illustrated, but I definitely have some problems with it.
1. Florence spends far too much time talking about the male gaze. Yes, it's important and is basically the point of feminism. However, Florence is a bisexual woman, like myself, and I was disappointed to find that she doesn’t spare much thought for the female gaze. There was a brief mention of the "queer gaze" but she didn't really talk about what that enails/how exactly it differs from the male gaze. I think this could've been a valuable addition to the book, especially as it's constantly her being like "DON'T TAKE CRUMBS FROM MEN" (a valid notion).
2. She covers SO many different things, some more briefly than others, but she doesn't really talk about class. It's mentioned in passing towards the end of the book. Very suspicious, but not a massive flaw by any means.
3. The terms "gaslighting," "emotional manipulation" and "abuse" are thrown around throughout the book in a way that overuses and misuses them. I think she needs to be more mindful of how young and impressionable her audience is (Florence is only 21 herself) because these careless simplifications are everywhere. I think her book aims to cover complex realities, but she does stumble into some black and white ideas and also often presents her opinions as absolute facts (something she also does on Instagram).
Rating: really liked it
see, if this had been written in 2012 as the stepping stone into feminism it’s advertised as, it would’ve been radical and saying some really interesting and good ideas. now it’s just tired, worn out examples of self love and assertion of self that everyone who isn’t a cishet man have been saying online for close to a decade. i got nothing new from this except her belief that if you shave your head you won’t get sexually harassed, which i’ll admit - is a new one.
also, if you’re arguing your views are radical, don’t place them in the very oppressive structures you’re trying to argue against. feminism doesn’t work under capitalism, period, even if your argument is for individual growth rather than collective efforts. there was nothing on targeting the oppressive structures themselves, only how you as the individual can make feminism work under the patriarchy/capitalism, which, in itself, isn’t radical or new.
Rating: really liked it
If you’re impressed by an uninteresting white girl with a shag haircut monetising Instagram infographics and regurgitating a discourse that already happened on Tumblr in 2013 and passing it off as groundbreaking feminism, all with a self congratulatory undertone then this is the book for you.
Rating: really liked it
would have been beneficial for 16 year old me but felt a bit obvious and repetitive to 22 year old me
Rating: really liked it
In no way am I discrediting what Florence has done and continues to do with her platform and for young women and queer people. However. She constantly checks her privilege but chooses to not take the step further and pass the mic to black/under- red presented women. She dedicates her book to black women however she steals their ideas and does not credit them. She coins terms as her own and takes the credit for what black feminists have been doing for an age. She is more pre occupied with ‘the Floss Effect’ of women dumping their boyfriends and cutting a fringe instead of using her platform to pass the mic to other marginalised women unlike herself. Florence. Do better.
Rating: really liked it
This is pure hypocrisy. The whole concept is admittedly stolen from Chidera Eggerue, a Black woman, while the white woman profits. They used to have the same management. She talks about social injustice in the book, but reproduces it in real life. She talks about oppression of Black women, but oppresses a Black woman herself. No excuse, nothing. Instead of supporting this book, rather buy Chidera’s book “What A Time To Be Alone”
Rating: really liked it
this book is a rip-off of an earlier book written by Chidera Eggerue called “What a Time to be Alone”. Please do yourself a favour and go to read the original instead. Do not support white people stealing the work of black creators.
Rating: really liked it
I struggled to finish this book but wanted to give it a fair chance.
Florence Given hits on a lot of important issues - yet I feel she never truly delves into the subjects she touches on. She somehow said a lot without saying very much at all?
The one point she made that I firmly disagreed on, is the opinion that Social Media can take the place of a formal education. It's true, formal education isn't for everyone. However, Instagram captions can't take the place of reading and digesting information in a more formalised way.
I think the reason I found myself disliking this book so much was that it felt like a collection of snappy Instagram captions. There was nothing for me to sink my teeth in, and I felt a distinct lack of references.
I don't think I'm the intended audience for this book, as I already hold views as radical as the ones Florence expresses here. Therefore, to me, they weren't particularly radical at all and didn't break any fresh ground. Considering I was reading A Room of One's Own by Virgina Woolf concurrently, this book had an uphill battle to impress me as a feminist text.
3 stars as I can imagine people finding this useful and radical, it's just not for me.
Rating: really liked it
As a radical feminist this book is an absolute clusterfuck. Hypocrisy everywhere! She says one thing, then does another, then adds in a few meaningless buzz words to sound woke.
I'll add some specific examples later, but if you are a second-wave feminist, a radical feminist, or simply acknowledge women are oppressed due to our sex, this book will frustrate you beyond words. "Floss" writes like a 14 year old that had JUST discovered corporate/mainstream feminism, thinks it's revolutionary, and still hasn't seen she's consuming a carefully manufactured product still controlled by men, but in a less overt way...
Please read real feminist literature. Audre Lorde, Simone de Beauvoir, Angela Davis, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, bell hooks, Jessica Valenti, etc.
This book is not feminism, it's performative pseudofeminism. I wish I could get my money back.
Rating: really liked it
Florence Given says so many things without actually saying anything. To explain what I mean, it’s all fluff rather than delving into the deeper issues and offering solutions. I suppose that’s what happens when you a plagiarize a black women’s work though. This doesn’t offer anything new and the writing was boring. I had big expectations going into it because the title alone is so feminist and great. Once I started the book and realized I was bored and not learning anything, I looked up reviews and learned about the plagiarizing. Anyway I don’t recommend.
Rating: really liked it
I found some chapters of this book incredibly empowering and relatable but certain parts of it didn’t sit well with me. For me the chapters on marriage and dating seemed slightly patronising as someone in a long term relationship. I appreciate the sentiment behind them; realising your worth and not subjecting yourself to toxic relationships but the whole ‘dump him’ doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe that’s something I need to work on within my self? It’s a weird one because I definitely learnt some valuable lessons reading this book, it reaffirmed a lot of feelings for me and I LOVED a lot of the chapters but certain parts of it definitely felt supercilious to me.
Rating: really liked it
I struggled with this one even though at first glance it seemed right up my street.
Firstly I didn’t like being called things like babe and hun throughout. It just grated on me. It was also repetitive at times and somewhat contradictory.
The author recommends weekly therapy and I agree but not everyone can afford this luxury.
Rating: really liked it
If I had read this book maybe 20 years ago, I may have benefited from it, but as a woman in her thirties, I hate to say it Florence Given, but it has all been said before - only better.
The title of this book is great, and really very feminist, and I presumed the content would be just as good. Unfortunately, Given rarely offered any solutions for her claims, and I feel like things were sugar coated, instead of facing issues head on.
Nobody likes it when issues are deliberately avoided, like they are some kind of taboo. This is not the message to send out to people.
The content of this book was feminism, sure, but at it's weakest. The author didn't talk about anything new or groundbreaking here. Yes, I was nodding as I read chapters, but only because I've heard it all before.
Given is a repetitive writer, and she threw in many words, over and over which became pretty samey. I agreed with some points Given makes, but some are extremely questionable, especially when she considers herself to be a feminist.
For example: Given thinks we should cut people out of our lives who makes a mistake. We're human, we all make mistakes, and anyway, isn't that how we can learn and progress? She speaks in command style writing, too.
Don't get married!
Don't desire a partner!
Get rid of people that make mistakes!
Buy a vibrator and give yourself constant orgasms!
It sometimes felt like an aggressive tone, and almost like a person should feel guilty if she did want to get married, or want to have sex.
Oh, and don't talk to the author about men. It's blindingly obvious how she feels about those.
Rating: really liked it
There is nothing in here that hasn’t already been said. I was hoping for more.
Rating: really liked it
I think I’m too old for this book to be honest, it didn’t teach me anything new however that’s not the reason I’m only giving it 3 stars, as I think it does have useful stuff in for younger people.
My main issues were
- the author only referenced about 5 statements in the whole book - unsure why this is but there were a lot more that in my opinion needed a source
- I found the chapters on relationships/marriage very patronising, the idea that you should never have to compromise in a long term co-habiting relationship seems a bit ridiculous to me
- I think the section on checking your privilege would have been far more useful at the start
-The author barely acknowledges her own class privilege at all. I assume, being 21 and able to work freelance/influencer/author that she must be fairly affluent, however she gives very little attention to this
