User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
Funny, touching, gay af. Need I say more?
Edit (8/3/21): I'll say more. If you don't laugh and cry at least once while you read this, I have failed as an author.
Edit (12/20/21): I should have this book memorized by now. But it still makes me emotional.
Edit (3/25/22): I started reading my book again on Feb 7 when I got my physical ARCs and it's taken me a really long time to read it because I'VE READ IT SIX MILLION TIMES. But today I received my first ever trade review (a star from Booklist!) which motivated me to speed through the last 80 pages on a plane today. I ended up going to the bathroom to cry. I'm so proud of this book and even though I kinda hate it because I'VE READ IT SIX MILLION TIMES, I think about how other people who've never read it are gonna love it and that makes me really happy. Anyway. I will read this again (multiple times prolly) before it comes out this year and I'm curious to see how it fares then. Till then.
Edit 6/2/22: I think this is the last time I'll read this book before it comes out. Wow. I'm a little emotional so I'll refraining from bashing it (because I'VE READ IT SEVEN MILLION TIMES). I'm proud of it, and look! It's Pride month! Would ya look at that.
Edit 8/17/22: This audiobook! Alejandro Ruiz did such a great job bringing Quique to life. This is the first time I've read the book without trying to edit it (though I did find a number of typos I hope we can correct in additional printings if that happens), so that was nice.
Rating: really liked it
Aaron Aceves is a breakout new voice in YA that’s equal parts lyrical and hilarious. THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US is an earnest story full of heart and heartache that explores how terrifying it is to share every part of yourself with someone and the complexity of juggling multiple identities. THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US shows us how even though we may feel unlovable, we're all are deserving of love, without stipulations or needing to earn it.
Rating: really liked it
OUT NOW!!
This is Why They Hate Us was one of my most anticipated 2022 reads, and I don’t even know why. Maybe because of the intriguing title, because of the stunning bisexual cover, or because of the compelling synopsis?
What I do know is that I was scared to start reading this book. But I hadn’t need to worry. This book is just like the cover, beautifully bisexual, even though Quique has only eyes for boys. He already knows what it’s like to be with girls and wants to know that feeling with boys too. I loved to read his honest thoughts on relationships now and in the future.
TIWTHU is not only about being queer and dating or hooking up with guys. It’s about so much more. It’s about friendship, about expectations, about being who you want to be, about anxiety and depression. It’s not a fluffy story; it’s raw and frank and felt really personal to me.
After reading the first page, the corners of my mouth pulled up and I immediately felt like I arrived home. That scene with Mr. Chastman, arghhh! So good! Tears suddenly ran down my face while reading the last part of the story and a knot formed in my stomach. Eventually that knot fell apart in a million little pieces from relief and I closed my Kindle with a content smile on my face.
Yes, Aaron, I laughed, and I cried, not only once, but far more often. I loved the mental rep (be aware of the trigger warnings, though!!) and the subtle reference to Quique’s not so perfect body. While I was reading, another queer YA title flashed through my mind, And They Lived … by Steven Salvatore, a book I cherish. I believe if you loved that one, you’ll love TIWTHU too. It’s just as good!
I received an ARC from Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
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Rating: really liked it
Some of the best bi rep I’ve ever read? This book is tender, filled with longing, and so gorgeous.
This isn't a story of self discovery; Quique knows that he's bi before the book begins and the story focuses more on his relationship to his sexuality, coming out to those which he's scared to, and his journey with coupling his mental health struggles with his need to feel validated and loved by others. This is a messy story of self discovery, but in a way that I found super unique, especially for the queer YA genre. Dare I compare it to… Ophelia After All my fave YA book of all time?? I definitely think fans of OAA will love this book.
There were some (albeit rare) instances in this book where the writing felt very unrealistic to the way teens speak, which took me out of the story a bit, though I would say this author does a better job than most YA writers on that front. There were also moments in this story in which the writing quality wasn't the /best/, which only stood out because the rest of the story had really good writing. For instance, there were a couple times when the setting wasn't super clear, so I couldn't paint the best picture in my mind while reading and my timeline was a bit confused. Still, I want to emphasize that the story was so totally awesome that I don't want my small criticisms to discourage anybody from reading this book.
I also wished the book was longer, because the pacing felt a bit rushed at times--though that could just be me not wanting the book to be over because I related to so many parts. This book helped me discover parts of myself that I hadn't been able to name, especially on the mental health/relationships front, and I didn't want it to end lol! Aceves read me to filth and I just wanted him to KEEP reading me, basically.
Since I am an ownvoices bisexual reviewer, I would be amiss if I didn't mention it! I thought the author did a wonderful job. The main character only romantically pursues other boys, though the reason for that is discussed and reflected upon often, and I could totally relate to the main characters reasons. I also enjoyed the way Quique found mentor figures and how he turned to queer fiction. His connection to one queer book in particular (CMBYN but BASHING OCCURS. That book is not romanticized in this story.) was so beautifully written and /god/ I just related to it so MUCH, such an important moment to occur in this story.
I'm sorry this review was so incoherent, hopefully people understand the jist of what I'm saying. While I wish this book was so much longer, I still really loved it. Quique was such a relatable character and the author felt so authentic not only in the way sexuality was discussed but also just writing for the Gen-Z canon. I'm feeling a bit itchy after finishing just because i want so much more lol, but that's probably a good thing? WRITE A SEQUEL PLEASEEEEEEEEEE
Rating: really liked it
I don't think I ever needed anything as much as I need this book for myself right now. <3
Rating: really liked it
combining queer chaos with teeny confusion and binding it up in a beautiful little bow that is the dysfunctional, anxiety-ridden lush mental landscape of a closeted qpoc kid in denial,,,, and the cover is like a translation of vibrating, quiet summer evenings. sigh. i really wanna read this rn.
Rating: really liked it
going to bed with a giant fucking smile on my face because !!!!!
Rating: really liked it
quique my sweet chaotic bisexual son
Rating: really liked it
Had high expectations for this and it didnt disappoint one bit!
Rating: really liked it
Aceves' writing is a spark of warmth held close to the chest. It carves a hole in your heart and nestles there, promising to stay there. I loved how literary, thoughtful, and hilarious the writing was. I loved how internal the writing was, following Quique's thoughts, his dreams, his heart. Quique, who is absolutely in my top ten favorite fictional characters. He felt so real, so raw, so messy and relatable. I wanted to scoop him up into a giant hug, protect him from the world. (And also, sit his ass down and talk some sense into him at times.) I loved all of the side characters, Quique's romantic "prospects," his friends, his family, the people he surrounded himself with. It was a wonderful cast of characters, that you fall in and out of love with alongside Quique. This story knocked me off my feet and grounded me all in the same breath, particularly in regards to the mental health journey that Quique goes on. The trigger warnings for this book (anxiety, depression, disassociation, suicidal ideation) are normally things that will make me put a book down, things I can't emotionally handle. But I placed my trust in the author, let myself trust in the story, and I found that I felt... taken care of. I felt like a warm blanket was being wrapped around my shoulders, and I gained some free therapy because of it. Parts of the story that normally would send me into a spiral of my own kept me tied to the pages, kept me pushing forward in the story, and experiencing a teary eyed emotional catharsis because of it. This is one that will send your heart soaring, your head spinning, and your hand reaching out to hold tight to those you love. Everyone desperately, desperately needs to read this one.
Rating: really liked it
My heart is melt after this book
Rating: really liked it
I love this book so much. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how YA characters need to be allowed to make terrible mistakes because that’s just how teenagers are, and boy, does Aaron H. Aceves not shy away from that. Quique is extremely messy, but he’s just trying his best, and with the help of his friends and family, he’s able to learn and grow and become happier, and I love that for him. The exploration of mental health in this book was well-needed—I appreciate when novels show characters going to therapy and talking through their issues. This book is absolutely not to miss!
Rating: really liked it
I’m sorry to be the party pooper here but I have never been more disappointed. I wanted so badly to like this book because of the Palestinian love interest, but I wish I had DNFed it. I kept reading until the end because I wanted to find something that would redeem it, but it just never worked for me.
What I did like: Palestinian rep and mentions of the history, as well as current events in Palestine.
Latinx and Afro-Latina characters.
The cover art is gorgeous.
What I did not like: The writing was a mess: The writing style and much of the dialogue was incredibly juvenile, cringy, and very problematic. There are also a few distracting and mostly unnecessary flashback scenes that were so long I forgot what was happening before they started. There were quite a few unnecessary scenes in general and the story would have flowed better and not have dragged on so long had they been omitted.
The Christian main character’s frequent mentions of “God” and “His” plan were frankly exasperating. That might not be an issue for some, but understand that for those who have had deeply negative experiences with the church and deal with religious trauma, it can be off putting. I know that’s a personal problem, so it’s just a warning for those who might want to avoid reading it. The religious aspect to the book did not factor into my rating.
MC makes an unnecessary comment bashing Satanists. His best friend’s ex was unpleasant so that must mean she’s a Satanist?
Jokes at lesbians' expense: “You’re drier than a lesbian watching
Magic Mike.”
Arturo: demands Enrique and the guy he’s dating name their first adopted child after him.
Enrique: “Chill, we’ve only been together a week.”
Arturo: “Right, you’re not lesbians.”
Terrible bisexual rep imo: MC was literally “turned on” by everyone he found “hot” from his own friends, classmates, his teacher (he seriously hit on his 31 year old teacher more than once), tv personalities, servers, one love interest's dad, one love interest's potential girlfriend/wife, librarian, random people in public... The only people he didn’t show some attraction to or have opinions on their appearance were his own parents. Fabiola is not much better, but I’ll get to the issues I had with her character. I had a huge problem with how oversexualized bisexuality was portrayed in this book. I get it, they’re supposed to be horny teenagers, but this was beyond excessive and played into harmful stereotypes.
Also, despite being bi, Enrique only pursued guys because he said he would
most likely want a serious relationship and start a family with a woman in the future (because it would be easier) so he wanted to experience being with guys while he could. What the homophobic fuck is that? The author is bisexual and very clearly Christian so I don’t know if there’s some internalized homophobia and “traditional marriage" bullshit reflected in his writing but this is not good representation of bisexuality. Not to mention sexist as hell.
Misogynistic language and poorly depicted female characters: Constantly using “pussy” as a derogatory term and calling a girl “cunt” did not make it less misogynistic because a female character was doing it.
Other than Enrique’s mother there were only three female characters with dialogue.
Fabiola: MC’s best friend. For the first 25% of the book, she was okay. She was a fun, supportive (but with her own personality that didn’t revolve around Enrique), bisexual, Afro-Latina who encouraged him to get over his feelings for Saleem by getting with one of the other guys he had a crush on. But the first time Enrique worked up the nerve to actually make a move on one of the guys, Fabiola interrupted them, threw herself at the guy, and hooked up with him instead. She did it because she was upset that her own crush hadn’t texted her back... So, she selfishly decided to fuck over her best friend knowing how much he wanted to have his first queer experience? That was after having pushed him into going for it with the guy in the first place! The fact that Enrique basically immediately forgave her was infuriating. I get that teenagers are messy and make mistakes but doing that to your friend is pretty shitty and a major red flag.
Fabiola, like Enrique was also hypersexualized. Not only did she cockblock her best friend to steal a hookup for herself, she was constantly making crude sexual comments, as well as fetishizing Enrique/MLM. After finding out about a sexual experience Enrique had with a guy, Fabiola tells him that she’s going to “beat off” imagining it. Later in the book, she watches Enrique putting sunscreen on Saleem at the beach and announces that it made her so hot that she needed to cool down in the ocean. Gross.
She also had a flippant reaction to finding out about Enrique’s mental health issues. When he eventually confessed to her that he thought about committing suicide, she asked how he would have killed himself and when he tells her, she responded, “Ooh-hoo-hoo. Gnarly.”
Mariana: Fabiola’s “crazy” ex-girlfriend made a random appearance only long enough to behave the way a jilted teen girl being written by a cisman would act. Which means she made a few generic rude comments before flashing Enrique and Fabiola her sexy bra (described in detail. Creepy.) in the middle of a mall. Because girls
definitely do that.
Molly: Fabiola’s girlfriend didn’t get much page time but got to say brilliant things like, “I don’t want to get seaweed in my pussy.” So there's that.
MC kept outing people: Enrique told multiple people, usually in detail, about every gay encounter he had with one of the guys (none of them were out). He even outed his English teacher! Just because he only told his therapist and other queer people didn’t make it okay.
Other things that didn’t sit right with me: Enrique’s conversations (and behavior) with his English teacher were completely inappropriate. Everything to do with using the dating app and Enrique and Manny claiming to be 21. If they were going to lie about their age anyway, why not just say they were 18? Oh, that's right, because then the author couldn't have reasonably justified the meet-cute Enrique had with his 31 year old English teacher through the app... His interactions with his therapist were unrealistic. His mental health issues were addressed poorly. The random mass shooting fantasy he had while watching a movie with his mom. Enrique’s parents encouraging underage drinking (he’s 17).
I'm going to stop because there was just so much I didn't like.
Updated: After posting, I reconsidered and decided to increase my one star rating to two. I’m giving it an extra star specifically because of the inclusion of Palestinian history. Although the mentions were brief, I understand that as a Mexican-American it was not Aceves' story to tell. However, if helps make some readers more aware of the apartheid then it's significant.
Rating: really liked it
(from my Booksta)
◾🆁🅴🆅🅸🅴🆆◾
•𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗨𝘀
•𝗕𝘆 𝗔𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝗲𝘃𝗲𝘇
•𝗣𝘂𝗯: 𝗔𝘂𝗴 𝟮𝟯, 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮
•𝟰𝟬𝟬 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀
⭐⭐⭐⭐ • 4/5 stars
•𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗱𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗙𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
•𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴-𝗼𝗳-𝗮𝗴𝗲
•𝗢𝘄𝗻-𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀
•𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘅/𝗤𝘂𝗲𝗲𝗿
⚠️ 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 ⚠️
◾𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: Enrique “Quique” Luna has one goal this summer—get over his crush on Saleem Kanazi by pursuing his other romantic prospects. Never mind that he’s only out to his best friend, Fabiola. Never mind that he has absolutely zero game. And definitely forget the fact that good and kind and, not to mention, beautiful Saleem is leaving L.A. for the summer to meet a girl his parents are trying to set him up with.
Luckily, Quique’s prospects are each intriguing in their own ways. There’s stoner-jock Tyler Montana, who might be just as interested in Fabiola as he is in Quique; straight-laced senior class president, Ziggy Jackson; and Manny Zuniga, who keeps looking at Quique like he’s carne asada fresh off the grill. With all these choices, Quique is sure to forget about Saleem in no time.
But as the summer heats up and his deep-seated fears and anxieties boil over, Quique soon realizes that getting over one guy by getting under a bunch of others may not have been the best laid plan and living his truth can come at a high cost.
💭 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀: This is Why They Hate is an important book about coming out and the impact that has on a teenager's mental health and relationships. And while I am not the target audience for this one, I know this will be relatable for many people -- particularly queer teens. TBH I'd recommend this to non-queer folks as well. Like I tell my kids, it's so important to read about people with different lived experiences so that we can develop more empathy and understanding, which ultimately makes us better humans and better allies.💕
Solid debut!! 👏 I look forward to seeing what this author writes next!
👉𝗤𝗢𝗧𝗗: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿?
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Rating: really liked it
cannot BELIEVE how gorgeous this cover is!
