User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
The movie that this book was birthed out of, Fireproof, starring Kirk Cameron, was amazing!! My husband and I both enjoyed it more than any movie we have seen in a long time. It was so nice to see a clear moral and Christian message for a change, rather than the filth that fills our eyes and ears on a daily basis. We ordered the book before we even saw the movie and were so glad that we did! We are not through the entire thing, but I highly recommend both the movie and the book for any one who is getting married, or is married and wants to stay married!
Rating: really liked it
I worked through the 40 Dares in this book over the last month and a half, and it completely changed the way that I look at my spouse.
I have always loved her, but now I have found a better way to love her.
A very powerful dare asked me to visualize two rooms in my heart (one APPRECIATION and one DEPRECIATION) for my spouse. It asked me how often I go in the APPRECIATION room and how often I visit the DEPRECIATION room.
I made a three page list of things that I love about my wife, Nancy, and I gave it to her. I had to make a list of things that I don't like about her, and it dared me to burn the list.
It is hard to visit the DEPRECIATION ROOM when it has BURNED DOWN!
Guess what!? You can create your OWN APPRECIATION and DEPRECIATION rooms. I wrote lists for MYSELF, and NOW My DEPRECIATION room is currently BURNED DOWN. It is really hard to visit there.
It makes your life a lot better when you aren't putting yourself down, but you are looking at positive ways that you can change the world.
Rating: really liked it
it honestly takes 2 people to make a marriage work. doing all the items in this book did not save my ten year marriage because the substance from both sides wasnt there to save. since my marriage ended after catching my ex and sister in bed and her burning down my house, I'd say my marriage wasnt "fireproof", but heres the kicker because I put into practice these lessons, I had no regrets in leaving my ex cause I did all I could to save the marriage in the 6 months before the fire and I learned how to have a successful relationship with someone who loved me in return. it has become an incredible foundation for my soul mate and I to build our marriage upon. god works in mysterious ways.
Rating: really liked it
I have mixed feelings about this one. On the positive side, reading this book with my husband gave us a set time in the day to focus on our marriage through the lens of faith.
On the negative side (for me), the authors are pretty conservative, and some maddeningly old fashioned ideas of gender roles and the nature of men and women shine through in the writing.
If you can shake that off, or if you simply agree with their views, there are good ideas to be found about how to treat your loved one and how to improve your relationship.
Although I doubt I will check out more books by these particular authors, reading this book with my husband inspired me to keep pursuing this collaborative approach to growing in our relationship. That alone made it worth it.
Rating: really liked it
From the cheesiest, most powerful movie I ever loved, the 40 day love dare. I am on Day 27, and I am flunking my way through this book. This one is a good spiritual practic of a king not much in vogue - ministering to your spouse, because just like firemen don't abandon their partners in a firestorm, you don't abandon your spouse in a firestorm.
I have a friend in a recovery group who says "some days you stay married one day at a time just like you stay sober one day at a time." This is a book to help you do that. What I liked about the movie is on Day 20, his wife said, "Don't you get it that I don't love you anymore." (Said that, heard that - through many winters in our marriage.) So he calls his father who gave him this handwritten journal of dares, and his father tells him that is as it is supposed to be, and that he hasn't truly started even loving yet." The movie and books Christian overtones might put a lot of people off, but I don't care. I read bhuddist texts and other spiritual works from other spiritual practices, and have decided that I am still a veyr strong christian but have a lot in common with other beliefs, and am not here to persuade anyone, but this bookhas a lot of good practices in it for men or women, and as a friend of mine says "sefishness and self-centeredness, that is the root of our problem."
I also think in my spiritual practice that this is a lot about how God loves us and maybe practicing loving God back.
It is an easy to understand book and often easy to agree with, but hard, hard, hard to practice. I love my pet selfishnesses and resentments and find it hard to give them up or drop them first or go first to reconciliation.
so there is my big honost truth.
Rating: really liked it
Ouch.
It's taken me forever to get through this book, mostly because I wasn't ready for it.
Yeah, I'm being honest in my review. Go figure.
The first half was good. I did the challenges daily, and saw results. I saw more results than I ever thought possible. My husband was responding, hey even I was responding. The second half though...well it got harder. The Christian things, praying and making a commitment to God, that went ok. But the deeper commitments I wasn't ready for.
Finally I just gave up on doing the challenges. Instead I read about them each day and thought about them. But this book will have to go back on the shelf until I'm in a place to try again.
OK, that's too personal.
The book itself? It seems common sense. Pay attention to your spouse, and SHOW them you care over and over and over even when you've been rejected. Simple but something that's sometimes hard to do. I liked the challenges as it gave a focus for that. Something specific you could do that day, which is just the kind of thing I need.
But 40 days isn't enough time to prepare a heart, to HEAL a heart to the point where I'm personally ready to renew my wedding vows (the final challenge). Maybe it's better spaced out more?
Someday I'll try this again. But not right away. I think I have some more work to do on myself first.
Rating: really liked it
I am on Day 29 Love's Motivation
When God is your reason for loving, your abitlity to love is guaranteed.
The love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful additional benefit.
Rating: really liked it
I wanted to like this book and I know no book has all the answers when it comes to all relationships because each relationship is unique. This book is also split in 40 days of advice... it starts out as little things you can change or do to make your partner's life better and hopefully improve the bond between the two of you.
However about halfway through until the end it turns into "how to be a doormat". This becomes one big guilt trip and becomes very centered on men must always give in to their wives... it is always the woman's way... and you are committing a sin against God to do anything different.
In many cases it is clearly said that a husband must abandon all his wants, desires, hopes, and dreams in order to please his wife... the opposite isn't mentioned and the message gets stronger towards the end of the book and the religious guilt trips get stronger too.
Look, I would do anything (within reason) for my wife. In one of the final chapters this book lays out how that isn't enough... that if my wife wants something I need to do it regardless of costs, consequences, or impact it may have on me. Would I like to take my wife on a trip around the world, make it so that she never had to lift a finger again, or have everything she ever desired at the drop of a hat.... of course... but this is reality and the unfortunate truth is that I can't do that for her.
The final chapters confirmed my dislike for this book... a famous verse says Love Never Fails. This book twists that phrase in a way that really irritated me. Two chapters go to the point of saying regardless of whether you're wife absolutely hates you, it is your mission to do whatever she says, whenever she says it... because if you try hard enough love never fails... even if she says it's a complete failure and she wants out. I'm not in favor of divorce... however if you're being totally taken advantage of... if you are being abused... if you are being unloved.... your love didn't fail... but the marriage did... and while you did everything you could it didn't work... and this book's demands that you be a slave and a torture victim because you made a vow regrets to remember that the other person also made vows as well. It showed me how one sided, blind, and potentially dangerous this book could be for some people who would read it and decide to stay in an abusive marriage because of it.
So in wrapping up this book says that's not only am I a failure... I am a horrible person and sinner as a result. That's what the book says... in the end only two opinions matter... one is upstairs and the other is my wife.
I highly recommend looking elsewhere if you are looking for ways to improve your marriage.
Rating: really liked it
So far--EXCELLENT. This movie was EXCELLENT. Thank you Stephen Kendrick for creating this book. I am fortunate to be able to say that my husband and I have an excellent marriage, but in the 20 years we have been together there have been tough times, for sure. Now, with people we know doing destructive things in their marriages (speaking negatively about their spouses and to their spouses, rampant pornography, not prioritizing time with each other, etc.) marriages are not being nurtured and are falling apart--people are giving in to temptations. This book gives fun and real ways to re-connect and show love and respect to one another. Even an excellent marriage can use some creativity and new ways to rekindle the love that needs to last "til death do us part". Every married couple should do this book!
Rating: really liked it
If you are married, and want your relationship to work out, this is the book to read. It speaks about Love, how God views love, and oneness--togetherness--and unity. It is a forty-day journey to see your spouse for who they are, who they have become, and who you love the most underneath God's leadership. God is the third thread in a marriage, there is a difference between a marriage contract and covenant with God. I take the covenant with God more so than marriage contract. I want to be married until death do us part.
Rating: really liked it
The accompanying movie, Fireproof, really hit home for my wife and I. We watched it together, and we saw ourselves in some of the scenes. After that, we worked through the 40 day Love Dare.
We found that working through it together, on the same day, made things more difficult. We both knew what "dare" the other person was on, and there was a sense of expectation that neither of us intended. "She's on day three today. I wonder where my present is?" That's the entirely wrong idea! (Sin does, indeed, make you stupid.)
The book is clearly evangelical protestant, but there was really nothing that troubled me as a Catholic. There is much good to add but nothing I would take away from the book. Work through the book day by day and really follow the dares.
I especially liked the brief coverage of covenant in the last day of the forty. It meshes very well with the idea of covenant presented in good Old Testament studies, such as Dr. Hahn's "A Father Who Keeps His Promises" and salvationhistory.com
Rating: really liked it
This is a really great book. Although a lot of people I know had this book on their shelves, none of them had actually worked their way through it or even read the first page. The reason? It's seen as a resource for when your relationship is in crisis.
I felt like I didn't really need to do this book but it turned out I was wrong.
It was very useful to have a challenge to complete. Some dares took longer to complete than others depending on my pride levels. I also really liked how simple and clear it was written and yet woulxd cut straight to the heart.
Since the focus is love, the lessons learnt here can also be applied in every relationship.
Try it. I dare you.
Rating: really liked it
Challenging book in terms of it urges you to look at issues and deal with them from a Christian view and biblically so.
Rating: really liked it
This started out as being something that Alex and I would read together before bed but with long distance it started being a just me thing. It has valuable knowledge and insight and is something I would love to revisit once a year - to read it in its entirety or just to reference. I also would love the chance to reread it with Alex. We were given this as a bridal shower gift and it was so thoughtful and appreciated❤️
Rating: really liked it
The movie "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron is excellent and will help you relationship immensely. It is very anointed and has moved even the toughest guys I know to tears at the end. Very touching and inspirational.
The book that the movie is based on is called "The Love Dare" and it takes a lot of dedication and discipline to do, but, well worth every bit of the effort. I DARE You to try to make it through without blowing it! I dare you!
Sherrie Conkel
http://www.SchoolTimeCafe.com
http://www.yourAVON.com/sconkel
