User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
How much of what people say is genuine and how much is politeness? Is anyone really living their life or are we all reading lines from a giant script written by other people?
I gave The Kiss Quotient and The Bride Test five stars, so now I need a sixth star to emphasise how Hoang's latest book was my absolute favourite. The Heart Principle was everything I wanted, and so much more. Hot, sweet, sad, deeply personal. This is a big claim, but it genuinely might be
my favourite romance novel ever.
As always, Hoang's author's note explains her personal reasons for writing this kind of story, but I suspected early on that the raw emotions the book explores, and the sad places it goes to, were inspired by her own experiences. For one thing, The Heart Principle is written in first person, not third like her other books, which I generally prefer for romance anyway. For another, I felt completely immersed in this story, pulled so entirely into Anna and Quan's world, their feelings and experiences seeming so real.
There's a lot going on in this book; a lot more than a romance, though that is done excellently too. Anna and Quan are so lovely (I think “I’ll wear rainbows out with you" is the most romantic thing I've ever heard a guy say) , so kind, their vulnerabilities so real, yet the chemistry between them sizzles off the page. One thing Hoang continues to excel at is writing sexy romances where neither of the protagonists are assholes.
As I said, though, there's a lot more than romance going on here. It is about a woman being diagnosed with ASD later in life and beginning to make sense of everything she had previously struggled to mask. It's also about caregiving for someone who is terminally ill, and I really appreciate the discussion Hoang has opened with this. A lot of caregivers find themselves struggling and unable to cope, though they feel too guilty to ask for help. Nobody should feel too ashamed to ask for help when they need it. And the book is also about depression and anxiety, how they can make you feel immobilised, and the long journey of fighting against these illnesses.
It's also, I think, about the burden of expectations. From society, to perform a socially acceptable role. From family and friends, when it comes to caregiving. And from an audience, when you've gained a certain amount of popularity. It makes me sad to think this quote from Anna might reflect Hoang's own feelings:
The truth is art will never be as effortless as it used to be, not now that people have expectations of me.
It's another beautiful emotional book from an author who seems to put so much heart into everything she creates.
Rating: really liked it
***ARC provided through NetGalley***
Don’t mind me, just sitting here, MIND BLOWN by this book. Seriously, someone go find some goddamn paper towels because there are chunks of brain matter all over the floor. My relationship with this trilogy has been a little rocky in the past but
The Heart Principle said “fuck ur expectations” and then proceeded to ruin my life.
The story follows Anna, a professional violinist who is experiencing creative burnout after a video of her performing goes viral on YouTube. At the same time, her serious boyfriend suggests they see other people before making the commitment to marry each other. Heartbroken, Anna uses her new open relationship to try and shake things up in her life, inviting change in the form of the tattooed, motorcycle-riding Quan (who we all know and love from previous installments in the series). Their relationship begins slowly, but it won me over RIDICULOUSLY fast.
Let’s discuss-- I am a cold-hearted bitch, as we know. It takes a lot to make me feel, but this book really yanked me through the wringer. The sheer amount of trust and support in Anna and Quan’s romance was sweet and swoon-worthy, and their individual fights for self-acceptance basically had me leveled from page one (I am 127% sure I would’ve cried if my pesky tear ducts
actually functioned).
I mean it, Anna’s coming to terms with her new diagnosis of ASD and struggling to connect with family members, all while providing care for a terminally ill parent, alongside Quan’s own journey to regain confidence after surviving cancer, had the emotional intensity reaching peak levels. It is a truly heart wrenching read at times. As a result of what both deal with over the course of the story,
The Heart Principle has a more serious tone in comparison to the rest of the series, but I personally didn’t mind the focus being shifted off of the main couple from time to time. Their separate journeys were so authentically human. It was what made the book stand out to me, and why I believe that it is Helen Hoang’s strongest release to date.
The only thing I would have changed was the length of time that was spent concluding all the open plotlines. Things definitely got a bit hectic at the end, and there was room for a little more attention to be placed on wrapping things up satisfactorily in a way that didn’t seem rushed. That said, even with that tiny criticism, I'm still very impressed with the overall story and can’t imagine giving it anything less than five stars.
As Hoang reveals in the author’s note, this book is particularly personal to her, which is apparent. Not only because of the technical aspects, like being written in the first person as opposed to third, but also in the level of care that was given to the characters’ arcs. I admire her for being able to unpack such intimate difficulties in a novel, and I do think that it’s going to impact many of the people who read it in a beneficial way.
The Heart Principle comes out on August 31st and I
implore you: buy it, borrow it, find a copy on the side of the road, JUST READ IT (if u wanna lol) (no pressure) (but also PRESSURE).
Rating: really liked it
i have very conflicting feelings about this book and simply rating won't sum up my feelings.
to start, when i finished this book i felt...
angry. angry for anna, angry for quan, and then angry that no one properly warned me what this book was all about. i read reviews and i certainly got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a romcom but i didn't expect to come away from this reading experience, frankly, traumatized.
reading that back, it's sounding a little melodramatic and maybe i'm just the most sensitive bitch on the planet but i have a bitter taste in my mouth after finishing. anyway lemme try and explain:
i would say about 70% of this story is sad. anna is tasked with caregiving for a sick relative which i found traumatizing to read about. she's gaslighted continuously by friends and family. she's in a really horrible mental state
before all of this happens and it just gets worse as the story goes on. quan is feeling self conscious and sad after his cancer treatment and surgery. he fights for anna who is in no place to give him the love that he needs.
and the other 30% is a romance, sort of. early on in the book i had so much appreciation for quan's patience and all of the sweet scenes between him and anna. but as the book carried on, the romance had to take a back seat to the life stuff and as a result we get two people clinging to each other for imo unexplainable reasons.
to be clear: i did not hate this book. i will forever be in love with helen hoang's focus and attention on autism representation. i was rooting for these characters! and overall the book elicited an emotional reaction a few times which must mean something right? i don't cry over just
anything. but when i look at this book as a romance, and especially as one of my most anticipated of the year i can't say that this is going to be a favorite.
Rating: really liked it
I like that this book tackled heavier subjects and focused on the main character’s development with the romance taking a back burner in the second half of the story. However, the simplicity of the writing didn’t develop the plot points deeply enough for my liking, despite the author writing from a personal place. The romance and overall conclusion also felt rushed. Lastly, I wish the love interest Quan had more development for his own story if we were going to see the protagonist go through a lot on her own too. His story had so much setup in the other books that this one didn’t give as much as promised.
Rating: really liked it
I am a fan of Hoang’s writing and this was a great novel. Anna is one of the author’s stronger characters and this was as much a novel about a woman coming into herself and learning to manage a later in life autism diagnosis as it is a sexy romance novel. It was also great to see Quan and Michael again. A very affecting novel I found satisfying in every way.
Rating: really liked it
Happy pub day! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sigh-smile-cry : I’m repeating this routine for last 28 hours after finishing this book because I keep replaying the special moments of the story on my mind. It affected so much more than I expected!
I can honestly say two things about this freaking brilliant story: it’s the most intense, sad, emotional book of the series with most adorable characters.And it’s also best of best book of the series.
Yes, it extremely sentimental, touching your soul, making you sad and stabbing you my heart several times with tiny little glass pieces. You are shaken to the core. You feel so much and it makes you exhausted.
Both of the main characters are so real, genuine, struggling, suffering, exhausted, carrying so much on their shoulders. It’s so easy to connect with them and their problems they’re dealing with.
Especially Anna’s family dynamics, her fight against her own anxiety issues, the pressure she feels to adjust and form normal social relationships are so familiar to me.
There are so many sensitive issues are realistically addressed in this book including grief, terminal disease, cancer, caretaking, stroke, AS. Each issues are discussed open heartedly and teaches us a lot to help connecting with our own life problems and our loved ones who also suffered or still suffering from the same issues.
Anna Sun is a talented violinist who became popular with a viral YouTube video , her career takes out. She goes to international tour, getting record deal and modern composer writes a piece just for her. But after the virtual popularity and being called as music prodigy from several highly important music authorities she feels like suffocated for carrying extra pressure on her shoulders to be unique and perfect! She’s overwhelmed by people’s high expectations. Now she gets lost playing in loops because nothing is good enough.
That’s not her only issue forced her to see a therapist ( if they adapt this book in movie: I hope Jen Anniston plays the therapist) She’s full time people pleaser. She always put people’s needs first and she has no idea what makes her happy, what she truly wants or desires. She observes people and copy their manners to feel normal and be part of social circle.
But she has been struggling for years and she cannot make her family or her boyfriend happy. She never feels good enough! Something should be wrong about her!
When her self centered, narcissistic douche bag boyfriend who never cares to listen her opinions decides they should see different people before getting married ( by the way he didn’t even ask her to marry with him) she gets flabbergasted and angry. Her virtual musician friends encourage her to use dating sites for rebound!
And that’s how her faith crosses with the most sweet, charismatic, kind hearted Quan who can check all the boxes for best book boyfriend ( I think I need extra review space to tell how much I loved him. )
Quan recently survived from a fatal disease. He’s still emotionally struggling but luckily he has lovely supporting family, a great friend and also business partner Michael who may be defined as real brother for him. After his trauma and critical surgery, he buried his head into his kids apparel business he created which attracts attention of leading fashion companies of the industry.
With Michael’s endorsement, he applies dating sides and his path crosses with quirky, smart, intriguing Anna. They start texting, discussing documentaries and their common adoration about the octopus they’ve seen on series.
They decided to have one night hookup but they both have issues to keep things casual and trust a stranger when they’re so sensitive and scared. So several hookup tries later, Quan realizes he doesn’t want to stop seeing her and Anna feels the same about him.
But people make plans God laughs. A family tragedy strikes and Anna takes on role that she’s ill suited for, until her family demands threaten to destroy everything she built with Quan.
It’s sad, meaningful, heart wrenching, powerful and one of the most genuine, real, touchy, soul crushing romantic story. This book is about our traumas, our family issues, being brave, liberating ourselves, taking risks, getting out of our shelves, destroying the barriers we built, our weaknesses make us who we are, power of true love!
No more words! This is best romance of the year. And the best book Helen Hoang has written! I freaking loved it so much!
So many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this digital reviewer copy of the most anticipated book of the year with me in exchange my honest opinions.
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Rating: really liked it
Two individuals from different worlds that cross paths towards the way of healing, and learning more about each other for the better of their individual selves... 
Years of anticipation made us all Helen Hoang lovers crave Quan's novel for a very long time. Now that's finally here there is a lot that shocked me while reading his book. This is not just a romance novel that touches base on two characters that find the best of each other both physically and emotionally.
This is also a story of a young woman who struggles with the institution of finding herself and accepting her real identity as a woman that is part of the spectrum. The beauty of it all, with the knowledge that we know of Helen's personal story as being part of the spectrum as well, is the first pov difference in comparison to the first and second novel that we got.
With Anna being at a cross roads of accepting the open relation her boyfriend wants to be in, or separate from the one person whom she has thought will be the one for her due to the fact that her family adores him. She has to come to a realization by herself that saying "no" is a standing decision that is an inner struggle.
Because all she wants is to please her family and the struggle to say "no" is not an easy task. Especially when her older sister puts so much pressure on her to not have an "attitude" and act like the way she should be acting. With that, Anna is also stuck with the fact that she must find some inspiration to help her finish her violin piece that has been in the loop of not ever being done.
And then we have Quan... the sexy, kendo lover, tattooed big hulk of a man that has a heart made of passion and love. A teddy bear of a man who wants nothing more in life than to love Anna and make her feel comfortable with herself.
But at the same, he keep himself guarded after a life changing choice he had to make that made him doubt whether he would ever be able to be with someone as beautiful and smart as Anna. And when they are both finally together, he learns that struggle of being accepted by her family is not an easy task either. Something in which I can relate to as being part of the hispanic culture, where your parents will always want the best for you and will judge anyone who comes in the way. Even without them knowing you.
And that is the first encounter he comes across when he meets Anna's parents. Being judged is not something new to him, but not being accepted after demonstrating that he is worthy is unlike his character. But no matter what, Anna will always accept him the way he is, and her path with his will always align;
"I'm not surprised that I'm coming straight to her. My compass always points to her..."
With that being said, this is a story filled with personal acknowledgment by Helen. A story that will give you an insight to her inner mental battles as a woman in this generation that is part of the spectrum. Not everyone can understand, but knowing what to do and what not to do is also a good insight to those whom cannot express themselves in the spectrum.
Helen knows how much I appreciate her as an author, and she knows that hers have a strong power to brake it or make it in the book community. To end this long review, I just want to give you a fair warning to have your box of tissues ready... because you will need 'em.
ARC kindly provided by Berkley Romance, in exchange for an honest review...Follow Me On:Instagram ♕ Twitter
Rating: really liked it
I don't even know how to begin to rate or review this book, because this isn't the story I signed up to read.
First and foremost, I do want to thank Helen Hoang for being courageous enough to write this story. It's clear that this is a deeply personal book for her, and in the author's note, she said as much, calling this "half a memoir."
I went into this expecting a sweet and heartfelt romance. I'd read both of Hoang's previous two books, and loved them for their diverse and nuanced depiction of people on the autism spectrum. For a condition that's fairly common, the representation of neuroatypical main characters in books and movies is woefully lacking, which is why I found Hoang's books particularly refreshing.
But that isn't the main focus of this book, not by a long shot. Instead, this book should've come with a long list of trigger warnings, including abuse and bullying from family members, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, going against a loved one's wishes during end of life, caregiver burnout, and suicidal thoughts, just to name a few.
The way Asian culture is portrayed in this book, in particular the way Anna's mom and sister disregarded her autonomy at every opportunity and actively worked to keep her mentally beaten down so that she would comply with their wishes, is so accurate as to be too much for me to handle. It hits too close to home. While reading this, I was so distraught I felt almost physically ill.
Can anyone actually remain emotionally in control while reading a story reenacting trauma they themselves have experienced or have watched people they love be subjected to and are still recovering from? If you can, you are a stronger person than I am.
How can I even think about this book in the context of a romance? Whenever Quan and Anna are together, it's beautiful, but other than the initial setup, it was just a few pages here and there. The romantic and sexy scenes, when they did show up, felt so jarring against the otherwise darkness that is this story.
I made it all the way to the end of this book, but I shouldn't have started. It reopened wounds I'm working hard to heal and move on from. I felt like I was being sliced open from the inside, and it was traumatic and distressing.
I think most readers will love this book and appreciate its unflinching and truthful portrayal. But my personal experiences make me unable to enjoy it.
This was my Book of the Month pick for August. If you're curious about BOTM or want to find out how to get your first book for $5, click here.
Rating: really liked it
Quan finally getting his own story
Me: 
I have been eagerly awaiting Quan's book since I first read about him in The Kiss Quotient, a few years ago. I always knew that his book was going to be amazing because he was just such an amazing character and I was totally right! This book was by far my favorite of the three books in this series.
As always, Helen Hoang fills her books with complex and compelling characters going through their own journeys of personal and emotional growth, as well as falling in love. Anna was such an interesting and strong character. Her story was heartbreaking and incredibly emotional. Anna feels as if she carries the weight and pressure of the world on her shoulders as she struggles to come to terms with the things that make her different while also trying her hardest to fit into the role her family has decided for her.
Then there's Quan, who was always emotional support in these books. He was always so confident and self-assured, but after recovering from cancer he's suddenly doubting himself. In this book, we get to see the depth and complexity of his character and I loved every second of it.
**This last part may contain minor spoilers. Nothing specific is said but I know some of y'all are sensitive to spoilers so beware!**
While I was reading the ending of this book I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I wanted that neat happily ever after where everything is quickly wrapped up and everyone smiles and all is fine with the world. And while this book does have a happily ever after (it by definition isn't a romance book if it doesn't) it's not one that was easily earned. It didn't come right after the characters got together. The problems weren't all magically fixed. And the more about it, the more that this became my favorite thing about the book. Being in love doesn't fix everything. It doesn't cure depression or solve years' worth of trauma. But being with people that love you certainly does make things easier. Helen Hoang truly wrote the perfect ending in that regard.
**POTENTIAL SPOILER ENDED**
My one issue with his book is that for all that it's well written and emotional, and great, it's not as romance-focused as a romance novel should be. Romance takes a back seat for large chunks of the book to the point that the two leads go weeks at a time without seeing each other. And yes, it's to deal with their respective issues, but it is a romance novel after all and I wanted all those missed moments.
All that said, in the end, I really enjoyed this book and really look forward to whatever else Helen Hoang has in store!
TW: severe anxiety/depression, ableism, cancer, death of a loved one, suicidal ideation
Rating: 4.25/5**I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**Follow Me Here Too:
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Rating: really liked it
When Anna’s boyfriend declares he wants an open relationship, her hurt and anger propel her to have a one-night stand. But things don’t go according to plan once she meets Quan. After multiple failed attempts to have their one night only, they quickly realize their connection is deeper than anticipated. If you’ve read Helen's other books in the trilogy, you might be surprised by just how emotionally raw this one is. But if you’re prepared for the journey, it’s a great one.
Rating: really liked it
For those who are interested, I'd be honored to sign a copy of this book for you. You can order here (they ship internationally): https://www.therippedbodicela.com/pro...
Thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing this book! Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an extremely personal book for me, and it means the world to me that you're gifting me with your time. I wish you well. <3
Rating: really liked it
Just sobbed my way through the author's note and I am not okay wow this was absolutely Helen Hoang's best book yet. So very different from her previous work, but in the best way. I can definitely see why this book wouldn't work for everyone; it is extremely different from the previous two books in the series and has a much, much darker tone and subject matter. But if I'm being honest, this was probably my favorite in the series for those exact reasons. This book was such a heartfelt exploration of anxiety and burn out, and how hard it can be to have to watch a loved one not be able to take care of themselves and it was just so raw and so powerful. While I personally loved this, I'll be blunt: if you go into this one expecting a romance like the previous two installments in the series, you will probably be disappointed. This book does have a romance (and a very sweet one, at that), but it absolutely takes a back seat to Anna's own personal journey working through her severe depression. I have said this before, but with this book more than most, please be mindful of content warnings and proceed with caution if you plan to read. This book was hard to read but if you think you can handle the subject matter it was so, so worth it. Helen Hoang is a gift.
CW: severe anxiety/depression/burnout, ableism, hospice care, cancer, sterility, death of a loved one, toxic familial relationships, suicidal ideation
Rating: really liked it
5+ stars 
“You’re a big deal—to me. You’re amazing—to me."
I was not expecting this. I didn't think
The Heart Principle would hit so hard, but it really did. I wasn't ready for this book. I felt so overwhelmed while reading it, but my goodness... I loved it so much. I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being my top read of 2021.
Anna Sun is a violinist who is struggling. After going viral in a YouTube video she's felt the pressure and it's building and building each and every day. In all aspects of her life she feels this way, but especially when it comes to the violin. Quan is struggling as well, but in a different way. After a health scare/medical procedure, he's not felt 100% like himself. They're both coping in different ways.
When Anna and Quan meet, neither are in the best place, Anna specifically. Quan never judges Anna for this. He never expects anything or asks for more than she can give and he was the most patient man. So genuine, real, and exceptional. Quan is an incredible guy. The romance of this book wasn't always the primary focus, but it was a big part of the story and such a gorgeous part.
"Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean we need to throw it away.”
He’s talked to me a reasonable amount, listened to me, laughed with me, seen me at my worst, held me while I cried. And he stayed because I asked him to.
Anna's story is so multifaceted and there were parts that were so relatable to me, and other parts that weren't at all. My heart broke for her. A big part of this book shows Anna struggling with caregiver burn out and essentially feeling forced to do this caregiving when it doesn't feel natural to her. I personally am a natural caregiver. It was easy for me to decide to be a nurse. It's not always an easy job and it can be even harder taking care of your own loved ones. There were times in this book I cried for Anna. Caregiving is such a hard job and making decisions for your loved ones when they can't is one of the hardest things ever. Especially (view spoiler)
[when family members just aren't ready to let go, even if it's what's best. I've worked a lot with hospice patients and you see this so much. That scene where her dad was communicating with her that he was ready... I sobbed (hide spoiler)].
Reading the authors note at the end and hearing from Helen and how much she could relate to Anna, especially the mental health aspect of her story just made me respect Hoang more. How brave is it to put that part of your life, the hardest part, out there and share it with us. It's important to talk about and I'm so glad that Helen did. Anna's story wasn't always easy to read, but her growth was inspirational and I loved watching her soar.
“I’ll draw a line around you, and I’ll protect you and stand up for you and speak up for you when it’s right. I’ll keep you safe. And I’ll do the same for me. Because I matter, too.”
With every Helen Hoang book I read, I'm blown away more and more. She is such a talented writer and the stories she brings to life are all unique, real, and stunning.
The Heart Principle is her best work to date. It's raw, heart wrenching, healing, beautiful, and powerful. This book was everything and is a must read for all readers. Trust me, it's worth the tears!
Rating: really liked it
**Sneakily obtained on NG from the UK publisher since the US publisher doesn’t countenance requests from plebs like me. Actually, I do feel legitimately guilty for having got this, since I requested because I wanted it, not because I thought I had any right to receive. And the imposter syndrome was so severe I thought about apologetically returning it but, well, I didn’t. Anyway, ARC received when it probably shouldn’t have been. Will buy on release**
Honestly, I think this is a fucking masterpiece. There’s a rawness to it, a conviction and a fearlessness that is absolutely breath-taking. As well as a love story, it’s a story about love: love for oneself alongside love for others, and its capacity to do inestimable harm, as well as to protect, heal and liberate. The Heart Principle is devastating. And yet so filled with the promise of hope that it made me go ugly-cry in the shower.
Ahem. Anyway.
Our heroine, Anna, is a violinist who—having obtained some unexpected success—is in creative crisis. Obsessed with an idea of unobtainable perfection, she can get only get partway through a piece of music before the voices in her head, insisting she is flawed and unworthy, force her back to the beginning. In the midst of this emotional crisis, her (clearly rubbish) boyfriend abruptly decides they need a period of time to “see other people” before committing to each other, confident that she’ll patiently wait for him, while he gets to fuck around. Anna’s therapist, meanwhile, suspecting that Anna might have ASD, confronts her about her “masking” – a costly social survival strategy for people with ASD that involves mimicking neurotypical behaviours in the hope of gaining social acceptance.
In an effort to practice, err, de-masking, Anna decides to have a one-night stand. After all, a stranger’s judgement (and potential rejection) shouldn’t matter to her, right? Enter Quan, Michael’s lovely and very, very attractive cousin from The Kiss Quotient, who also needs to re-enter the dating pool, having recently physically (though not necessarily emotionally) recovered from surgery to combat testicular cancer.
As you can tell from just the summary, there’s a lot going on this book, and a lot for the heroine and the hero to overcome, including the illness and death of Anna’s father, and her relationship with her family, who have always made her feel like capitulation on every front is her only hope for acceptance from them. It is far from an easy journey—the late-middle section where Anna, in the grip of autistic burnout, is forced to care for her father who just wants to die with what is left of his dignity is profoundly harrowing—but there is at the same time something courageous and even kind of reassuring in such a frank and unflinching approach to both the reality of trauma and the possibility of rescue and self-rescue.
The Heart Principle is simply this: that it doesn’t matter how badly you fuck up, or how difficult the present feels, you always deserve to go on. To try. To hope for better. You don’t have to go back to the beginning. Or condemn yourself to nothing but blank pages. As someone who has loved and grieved, who has craved acceptance that will never come, who still struggles with art, and for that matter self-love, the book got me in some really vulnerable and personal places. I don’t have anything explicitly in common with any of the characters, but I felt understood and spoken to regardless. That’s … that’s a really special gift for a book written by a stranger to give you.
Something else that struck me as kind of remarkable was the way that the book managed to weave all its very complex themes into a coherent whole, each of the various narrative elements—love, family, desire, art, identity—serving to reflect upon the others. It’s primarily Anna’s story (although I will say Quan is a wonderful love interest and their romance develops beautifully) but I was fascinated by the way Anna’s vulnerability and Quan’s vulnerability spring from the same toxic well of social expectation. Anna has spent her whole life trying to conceal her true self. Quan no longer feels certain of his masculinity because of his surgery. Together, they’re able to let themselves believe that identity is who you are, not how the world sees you or how other people judge you. And watching them find acceptance for themselves through acceptance of each other is incredibly moving.
On a lighter note: the sexing is lovely too. Communication, consent-focused, non-heteronormative. I love heroines who are able to articulate and manifest specific desires, and heroes who are committed to supporting those desires. I feel there needs to be more of this in the genre in general: sex as something broad and individualistic, not just this one thing that starts with kissing, moves to some boob squeezing, and ends in PIV.
I also love the way that Helen Hoang tends to tease apart gendered tropes in her work. There’s a spectacular heroine grovel + very personal grand gesture in this book. Which, needless to say, I was very very here for.
If I had to complain about anything, and honestly I’m not super minded to, I could have done with the final 10% of the book rushing past a little less quickly. With Anna finally able to confront her family, prioritise herself and re-unite with Quan, there’s a lot of collapse/recovery/recover-more ground glossed over very quickly. Obviously recovery is always a slow and, frankly, dull process but I think, by that point, I was sufficiently emotionally invested in Anna herself that I wanted to spend a little longer with her, especially as she put herself back together.
But. Eh. That is a nit on a nit of a nitpick. I loved this book. Deeply and sincerely, and with genuine gratitude for its existence.
If you do pick it up: trigger warnings for … oh dear me. Familial emotional abuse, gaslighting, death of a parent, non-consensual medical care given to a patient, detailed medical treatment, neuronormativity, creative and autistic burnout, non-physical self-harm. As ever, take care of yourself first.
Before I wrap this review, I guess I also want to take a moment to check out the elephant in this room we’re all in. And, listen, it’s not my place to make pronouncements about what the romance genre is or should be. As long as I’ve been writing I’ve been told, explicitly and implicitly, romance is for straight white cis middle class American women and anyone else is here on sufferance. And that’s … that’s what it is. So I’m not positioning myself as any kind of authority or making claims that it isn't my place to make.
But, like, the elephant? There’s an elephant over there. The elephant being, is this book a genre romance.
And the thing is, the question of what a genre romance is has been growing increasingly complicated with the rise of … well—this is another elephant, by the way—marginalised voices.
Do not, however, mistake me here: I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS argue against the central tenet of romance being the HEA/HFN. That is, and should be, indisputable. I just think what HEA/HFN looks like becomes, uh, complicated when you assume it’s this one thing that’s the same for everyone. Much like genre depictions of sex, now I come to think about it.
The slightly broader definition of romance is: central love story, optimistic ending. And, obviously, those are subjective criteria. If you hate the hero, and think he’s a dick, it doesn’t matter if the protagonist gets their HEA with him: that’s not going to read as an optimistic ending to you, it’s going to read as someone making a terrible mistake. Similarly, ‘central’ is always going to be open to debate: basically there are and have always been dual protagonist romances (where each character gets a similar amount of POV and their own arc) and sole protagonist romances where the love interest may or may get their own arc, or POV sections, but exists more to support the arc of the protagonist. In both cases, the love story is still ‘central’ – it’s just presented differently.
As far as I’m concerned, The Heart Principle is a romance because it ends on an HEA/HFN, the love story is central (the narrative could not exist without it, and even when Quan isn’t on page, his presence is felt) and the heroine ends the book in a better place than she started it. Thus the ending is hopeful and optimistic.
Where it becomes difficult, I think, is that the ending of The Heart Principle, like the narrative itself is complicated. It is not perfect. Anna is still estranged from her sister. She is tentatively putting her career back together in ways that feel healthy and meaningful, but she’s not a smash hit. Quan is still a survivor of testicular cancer and will not be able to have biological children. Anna’s father is still, y’know, dead. And her relationship with her family may always be strained – because that is, honestly, a reality for many marginalised people existing in the world as it currently is. She's always going to be someone with ASD and that's going to impact her life in various ways, as are the years she spent trying to re-create herself in the image her family demanded.
But, to me, that doesn't mean it's not a HEA/HFN. Trauma and damage--the compromises of reality--do not and should not negate happiness. The HEA of a character with ASD and an extremely negative relationship with her family shouldn't be deemed less H or less EA than the HEA of a character without ASD whose family are super lovely.
To be honest, it troubles me that we are so eager to declare the HEA/HFN’s of marginalised characters (and those presented by marginalised writers) invalid or inadequate simply because they do not reinforce the expected paradigms of non-marginalised people. Do we deserve less happiness, less joy, because we had to struggle more? Because our lives are less perfect? And may not look like yours?
And, yes, we can shrug and shunt such romances into the “women’s fiction” category, claiming that they aren’t a “proper” HEA/HFN on the basis that social compromise, for all that it’s a reality for most marginalised people, means the ending isn’t “happy enough” by non-marginalised standards. Except doesn’t that just continue to send the message that a genre romance is not, in fact, any book with a central love story and an optimistic ending, but rather a book that reflects that most normative ideals of what happiness and love look like. Instead of embracing diverse writers and diverse stories. And books like The Heart Principle which, from my undeniably subjective perspective, only enrich the genre.
Addendum: I should also clarify that I'm not taking issue with anyone for whom this book did not work, who did not find the relationship between Anna and Quan sufficiently central to the story for their personal preferences for a genre romance. That's totally cool. We all get to think whatever we like about books on an individual basis. I think it's the broader discourse around what genre romance should look like that continues to trouble me, not least because questions regarding whether a book is a romance or not, or whether the HEA/HFN meets implied criteria not covered by the broad definition of romance (central love story, optimistic ending) tends to focus almost exclusively on the work of marginalised authors. That, to me, is worth interrogating.
Rating: really liked it
5 stars! I loved it! I cried! Helen Hoang's best to date!
It's been a long wait for Quan's book, but it was worth it. I already love all of Hoang's characters, however this book felt so incredibly personal and so heart-filled, it go to be my favorite of hers.
After 5 years together, Anna's boyfriend suggests that they open up their relationship, so that they know they are not missing out on anything before they decide on the marriage. As he proceeds to immediately hook up with other people, Anna decides that she should have a one-night stand of her own too.
On the other hand, after 2 years filled with health issues, Quan is considering getting back in the game and wants to start with an easy hookup.
Anna and Quan are matched on the same dating app, and voila. However, their attempts at a casual hookup don't work. Both of them have their own struggles. They try once, twice, three times. Smutty things happen, but there are complications. When does this, whatever this is, become a real relationship?
I love these people. I love their deep human connection. Anna and Quan are just so, so nice, so vulnerable and open. It has to be said, I am glad the era of "a bad boy" is over. Nice and kind and caring is what's sexy now.
But besides this hot and sweet romance, The Heart Principle is much more. There is a conversation about diagnosing autism in women, learning to advocate for one's needs, there is a recovery after serious health scares and the psychological burden of caring for terminally sick. It's not a light, easy book. But it's so full of heart. No wonder, it is based on Helen Hoang's personal experience.
I've said it about Helen's previous two books, and I'll say it again about The Heart Principle. Read it. You'll love it.
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So I've noticed that the plot summary is totally different from what it was two years ago, but no less enticing. When are ARCs going to be available? Because I am dying for some Quan time@.@.
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Oh yes, it's Quan!
I sure hope this info is the real thing. I love Sabrina.
This is Quan’s book. Helen Hoang defines it as a “kind of a cross between a gender-swapped Sabrina and Say Anything”
