If You Tell: a True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood

Dem

Rating: really liked it
2.5 Stars
Just to be clear I am not judging or rating this book on the horrific happenings or the cruelty that took place within this family and I cannot imagine what it would be like to grow up in a home with fear and violence part of every day life or with parents like the Knoteks. My rating reflects how the book came across to me as a reader who had never heard of this family or what took place within the household. We all react differently to books and this is just my reaction

This book came up as a bookclub January read and it may not have crossed my radar otherwise. I think it was poorly written and very repetitive. The account is quite disturbing and if there was a rating for how shocked I was at the level of abuse and torture that took place within this home, then I would rate it a 5. However I am not rating the book on it’s shockability factor. For me the story doesn't come across well and I wasn’t convinced I was getting the full picture of what actually happened. So many questions remained unanswered, how so many people on the outside of this family and in authority didn’t notice the disappearances or even what was going on with this family. The level of abuse and torture is relentless and makes for difficult reading. I did finish the book and am while I didn’t love it I do think it will make for good discussion.

I listened to this one on audible and the narrator was excellent.

An ok read and a story that may appeal to readers who enjoy true crime stories but not a book for my favourites shelf.

Debra

Rating: really liked it
This was a disturbing book. Sometimes things that really have happened are far worse than anything one can dream up in their mind. This is a tale of abuse, manipulation, and complete and utter disregard for human suffering. Where one woman got off on the emotional and physical pain she could inflict on others - mainly her children and those closest to her. How she got away with this for so long is a mystery.

“I loved my mother because I didn’t know I had a choice. I had to love her.”

What happens when the person who is supposed to love you the most, hurts you the most? The level of depravity and cruelty in this book is unsettling and hard to read at times. Shelly was nothing short of a monster. Be warned, there are many scenes which will be difficult for some to read. There are tales of horrific abuse.

This was a well written, well-researched account of abuse. The author did a great job telling these sister's stories and chronicled their lives together living with their mother and when they were adults

The light at the end of the tunnel, besides Shelly being brought to justice, was that the three sisters were able to move on, each in her own way. Each was able to make a life, love and be loved.

Thank you to Gregg Olson, Thomas & Mercer, and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.

Lisa

Rating: really liked it
A tragic story, but...

I found it difficult to engage with the story. I understand that the author has had to cobble together, many different points of view and try to create a coherent timeline for the story, but if found it clunky and sadly lacking in depth.

Don't get me wrong, this is a truly tragic and mind boggling account of terrible acts and my heart goes out to the victims. The strength and bond the sisters have retained is incredible. On the other hand, the terrible complicity and acts of the father seem to be minimised in comparison to Shelly's crimes.

This isn't an investigative account, more of a first draft that has the potential to fill in so many blanks. I for one would have liked more information to explain why the police didn't act on the information received the first time, Shelly was never even questioned?

The conclusion was pretty disappointing in so far as it left even more blanks. Nothing really was explained in any detail, they were arrested. She pled guilty but not guilty really? They went to jail. He gets out. Kids take him back into the fold, whilst Shelly is still in denial saying it's all a mistake. Phew?????

I stuck with this expecting more and sadly got less and less.

Dan McDonald

Rating: really liked it
Dark, Disturbing, Drawn Out, and Ultimately Dissatisfying

If you're going to write a book about a mentally ill, sadistic serial killer you should probably spend more time talking about her mental illness or at least trying to explain the "why" instead of just the "what." I never felt like I understood the motivations or motivating force behind any of the people in this tragedy. Was Shelly suffering from borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, both? What would the experts say? Was she just evil? An epilogue at the end that only gives superficial treatment to these issues and, particularly, the psychology behind why victims stay and don't report is extremely dissatisfying. Sorry. I just don't like reading about human misery without at least some ability to understand why or how it occurred. Giving the reader more tools to do that would have been appreciated.

Effie

Rating: really liked it
Poorly written. Poorly interpreted.

Yuck. Just yuck. The subject matter...the written word. I wanted to find out “what happened”. But it was a REAL struggle to read. So many ways this story could have been shortened. So much superfluous text. Just yuck.

S.

Rating: really liked it
It took me no time at all to read this. Why? Well you hear about crimes and crazy things ppl do or split minute decisions made in haste, but I have never heard of someone like the mother in this story. She had a switch. She seemed to have a hair trigger. The book even remarked on that. It also well documents and shows you exactly what this means. Happy to horribly mean, calm to hellaciously evil and vengeful.

I’m not sure she had all of her humanity included when she was born? Or maybe in her formative years she did not get the type of nurturing care she needed when she was developing; during the most crucial parts of her personality development. Right when she would have been learning how to process emotions.

This was a great book, but in a terrible way. It was terrible in that this went on so long. It’s terrible that these things happened under the noses of others and that there were authority errors and non-response.
But I’m glad it finally came out for the sake of those that needed it to.
I can say I have heard of a lot of ppl with issues, but that woman seemed to be evil incarnate to me. I haven’t been before able to look at a picture of a stranger and see hatred so clearly. She needed lots of help.
I would recommend the book to true crime lovers that are strong and not triggered often. This is definitely a very disturbing piece of material that has been well organized and written by Olsen. It’s not my first by him, and I enjoy his research.

Grace Anderson

Rating: really liked it
I’m pretty horrified that Shelly was allowed to get away with so much. Horrified.

angela

Rating: really liked it
This was an intense book about mental, physical abuse and murder. A mother and wife who was a psychopathic, narcissistic, abusive, manipulating, murder. She tortured her children, manipulated everyone and should have been on death row, for what she did. It was sometimes hard to listen, awkward hearing what she would do her children and people who came to live with them. It was an excellent book, that brings to light, how crazy some people are. How lucky I am to have the family I do. I don’t know how anyone can do these things to anyone, never mind their own family. I’m in shock right now, I don’t know what to say.

How these people kept it together and dealt with what was going on, is crazy, but I can see how it can happen, kinda. Everyone had no where else to go, or turn. If they said anything and weren’t believed, their lives would be in danger. It’s a hard situation.

It was definitely well written, I believe it was based on a true story. I’m not sure though, I was going back and forth between two books, I know one was based on a true story. The Author did a wonderful job of describing everything, giving a mental picture of what was happening. The story was smooth. and engrossing. The characters all distinct personalities and they all dealt similarly, yet different. As much as this affected me, my feeling is when an Author can get you feeling real emotions and develop a true connection, or (concern in this case), they have done a GREAT job. My emotions were runithing over!! Great book.

Joey R.

Rating: really liked it
3.5 stars— I have always enjoyed Greg Olsen’s true crime books. Olsen is one of the most thorough researchers there is, and this book is no exception. However, the story of Shelly Knotek is not an easy one to read. Ms. Knotek qualifies as one of the most evil persons ever to live. Her lack of compassion and sadistic behavior over her entire life is like nothing I have ever seen before. Since Knotek’s three daughters as well as statements given by Knotek’s husband are the sources of information for the book, I believe the book is accurate. But to say reading about such an evil person who takes such pleasure in her lifetime behavior of inflicting misery on innocent victims is exhausting is an understatement. Although I was interested in the surviving victims’ stories and amazed at the ability of Shelly to manipulate others, don’t pick up this book believing you are going to feel good while you are reading it. In fact the more I read the more depressed I became. I hate to think that people like Ms. Knotek —who never showed any remorse for her behavior— exist. But at least the daughters who survived the horrific abuse became closer and probably more loving to others after witnessing such tyrannical behavior from the person who should have loved them the most.

Misty Marie Harms

Rating: really liked it
Wow this book blew me away. I wanted to jump in the book and rescue Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek. There was times I had tears in my eyes. I felt their pain so deeply. I don't know how they survived with their sanity. Shelly Knotek and her husband are human garbage. The things they did to those children are horrifying. Then they tortured and killed 2 innocent people under the guise of friendship. I was so proud of Nikki for finally standing up and going to the police. I wish the sisters all the best and I hope they are happy.

☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣

Rating: really liked it
Q: The best calls came at three in the morning. (c)

Q: Even on the crazy train, there is a place where the world is shut out and things go on feeling as though they are normal or even worth fighting for. (c) The world's most fucked up train with Shelly Knotek as the lead conductor.

This is I dunno what. If at least some of this is true then this is a bonkers batshit story. And it does seem to be credible.

I have no idea how that gal managed to get off with this much military grade crap. What the hell was the deal of the other people? Just how many deeply traumatized people are walking around ready to fall victims to some batsy person?

Q:
“She doesn’t know how to talk without some stupid lie coming out of her mouth.” (c)
Q:
After that, her underwear vanished. Kathy did chores around the house nude. (c)
Q:
Shelly never let the children use the toilet without permission or without the door fully open. Most times, Shelly perched next to the kids as they went about their business and watched like it was a science experiment. (c)
Q:
Lara Watson thought her son-in-law had a serious drinking problem, but it paled next to his Shelly problem. Drinking, he could quit. Shelly, it turned out, not so easily. (c)
Q:
... not rocking the boat didn’t stop bad things from happening. It only allowed them to continue. (c)

Aand here goes the answer:
Q:
(view spoiler)[ “Let’s see what Mom’s feeding Kathy,” Shane said.
Shelly kept an array of pill bottles on the top of her dresser and on the nightstand near the bed. The medicine cabinet on the main floor was also a veritable pharmacy with dozens of prescription pill bottles, including Lorazepam, Nitroquick, Atenolol, Altace, and Paxil.
It was bewildering.
Most were drugs that neither of them had heard about before, prescribed by doctors across Pacific County, and filled at various pharmacies in Raymond, South Bend, and Aberdeen.
Prozac, in its green-and-white capsules, was the most recognizable.
“That’s what she’s giving Kathy all the time,” Nikki said...

Shelly was clearly drugging Kathy.
Some would later wonder if she’d also drugged Shane or any of her girls from time to time. (hide spoiler)](c)

Lauren Morse

Rating: really liked it
Wow this was....terrible. I mean, the story is obviously terrible, and would be no matter what, but couple that with the awful writing, lack of editing, repetitive phrasing, and cutesy metaphors and puns - and you get this dumpster fire.

Christina - Recipe & a Read

Rating: really liked it
Woah.

Margaret M - hiatus (Limited access- will message when I can)

Rating: really liked it
What makes this book all the more disturbing is that is it based on a true story. A very troubling story of a mothers treatment of her own children.

This true crime novel is relentless in its story telling of torture, violent episodes, extreme abuse, death, broken relationships and family tragedy. However, it DID happen in one family. To the children and a family friend.

Unfortunately I struggled to see the purpose of this book because so many questions went unanswered like why? And what happened to the children afterwards? How did this affect their lives?. As such, although it was well written and honest, it also felt unfinished particularly as we were rooting for the children in their lives without mother.

For me personally this felt like a chronology of horrifying events, without the impact and healing from abuse and domestic violence which is so important to address.

Although the children have had the courage to come forward eventually. We want to hear more about how they have rebuilt their lives.

Ileana Renfroe

Rating: really liked it
Why? How? How could she have done all those things?

From the moment I started reading this book I was hooked. I kept asking, why did the police not react sooner? They are to blame for Ron’s death, no question. But most importantly, How terrible these girls had to endure all those years of torture. However, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, and in this story it tells of three sisters who found the courage to finally tell the truth. Three strong women who are survivors. Thank you to the author for telling this story. May no one ever forget the horrible atrocities committed by “Shelley”. Heart wrenching story!