User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
John Robison was full of playful life as a young kid. But, just like me, he had an uphill road to climb in life. And it took him forty years to grow up. It took me a heckuva lot longer!
He just couldn’t communicate, you see. Asperger’s sufferers can’t read other people’s signs. And like him, though a bit more communicative, I had no concept of good and evil.
Sure, I knew enough to be good. My parents had inculcated goodness deep within my bones. Only I had no concrete idea of its opposite. And even though Dad routinely took me to church (he insisted, bless him!) the message had gone completely over my head. Until I was twenty.
Then it became self-evident, but it was too late. Dr. Asperger (as yet unknown) had predicted such calamities.
Bottom line is that the world had no vocabulary for dealing with me as yet.
I continued to submit to a flawed system, however, with patience, faith and good humour. I had always recognized the wisdom of authority, but bent the rules slightly with my long reach for mitigating laughs. And that just caused more alarm.
And after a long series of slurs to my name I was not much wiser.
Then, in my seventieth year (Yep. That’s right. One of my helpful Goodreads pals even called me a Rip van Winkle) I started to read about Asperger’s: and how it affects kids from a loving family when childhood trauma occurs.
You see, from that time onward I had always retreated deeply into myself for security. I had always ignored Gertrude Stein when she repeated, a rose is a rose is a rose. Those bald facts of life undid me.
And that’s the long & winding road through which I finally discovered undisturbed peace in my life.
And my childhood faith sealed it tight.
Oh, it is an endless Dawn, you’re right, with more than a few remaining shadows...
But it’s finally leading me home!
Rating: really liked it
I am interested in the Asperger's continuum, so when I heard about this memoir - written by Augusten Burroughs's brother - I added it to my Amazon wish list. The title leads one to believe that the book is about the author's life with Asperger's, but that's a little misleading. The book is about his life in general and very little is devoted to how Asperger's influenced his life at all ages. I wanted to read a memoir about growing up within a dysfunctional family and also having a condition that makes life different, but what I read was about his experiences with sound engineering, some good stories that you can hear in any bar and, occasionally, his Asperger's. His condition seemed to be tangential, an afterthought. A selling point?
I skimmed through most of the middle part of the book through the end because it just wasn't interesting, nor was it even remotely related to the story I thought he would be relating to the reader. He writes in his afterword that he "wanted to show readers what it was like to grow up feeling like a freak or a misfit." It did not. He writes that he wanted also to show what life with Asperger's was like, how those with the condition are different. He doesn't do that, either. He doesn't settle on any one part of his life long enough to explain anything, and the result is a collection of chapters and words by Augusten Burroughs's brother, not an account of life with Asperger's.
One of the reviews on the back cover of the paperback book reads, "...Should be on the reading list of anyone who is interested in the human mind." As someone deeply interested in psychology, neurology, brain and behavior, I am almost offended by that statement. The book gives absolutely nothing - neither personal nor scientific - to sate any curiosity one may have of the human mind.
Just because you have some decent stories doesn't mean you can write a memoir. I'm sorry I bought this book.
Rating: really liked it
Asperger’s Syndrome is a form of autism that affects social interaction, communication skills and may also cause physical clumsiness. For example, it may prevent a person from displaying emotion and may cause them to make inappropriate or odd comments.
The author Robison had it undiagnosed for most of his life.
Robison is also the older brother of Running with Scissors author Augusten Burroughs. One interesting element of this book is that Robison describes some of the same events as Burroughs, but from the older brother perspective. Same dysfunctional family, same neurotic mom and same violent, alcoholic dad; but Look Me in the Eye is told from his damaged perspective.
And where Running with Scissors was a funny, but absurd parade of grotesques, Look Me in the Eye is a balanced, clear, simple, well written account of a life on the periphery of society, banished because of a disorder that also gave him savant-like skills.
Finally, the fact that he worked for KISS and created Ace Frehley's stage guitars makes this an even more cool book to enjoy.
Rating: really liked it
In a day when a cure is expected for nearly every ailment, flaw or disorder, I was struck by John Elder Robinson's assertion that those with Asperger's Syndrome, a neurobiological disorder on the autism spectrum that the author lived with undiagnosed until he was forty, needs no cure - only understanding.
John Elder Robinson starts his story with his earliest memories -a failed attempt to make friends in a sandbox and meanders through his shame at being called a deviant and a psychopath because he avoided eye contact (although his explanation about how he still doesn't understand most people's need to stare at somebody's eyeball while speaking to them is hilarious), leaving home in the middle of his teenage years, finding himself as part of the 70s rock scene and creating flaming guitars for KISS, faking his way through a job interview for a position as an engineer and getting it by reading and memorizing books about the subject, his parallel struggle to "be a team player" through out his career, until he finally arrives at understanding and acceptance for both his gifts and oddities.
Although this book contains many fascinating stories that stem from his dysfunctional childhood rather than his Asperger's Syndrome, Robinson's experiences and viewpoint sheds a great deal of light on an "Aspergian's" way of thinking. I have a nephew who has been diagnosed with Asperger's and a brother and sister-in-law who constantly seek balance between his way of seeing things and their own understanding. I found myself asking my sister-in-law the question, "Do you think he needs a cure?" Who is to say? Robinson made clear in his book that while he has learned a great deal about appropriate social responses through trial and error, he still finds them unnatural and really, more to the point, unnecessary. What is normal? How much of life's successes are social? What parts of our own personalities should be fixed? I mean, I can't imagine an enjoyable existence where we are all the same.
But, if Asperger's Syndrome falls on the Autism Spectrum, and we observe those with the kinds of autism that render them completely unable to connect to the outside world, certainly we feel they miss out on opportunities for relationships and meaningful experiences. Certainly we would choose a cure, if there was one to be found. So at what point of the spectrum do we intercede?
These are simply the questions that I had after reading this book. You may or may not have similar kinds. However, if you get a chance to read this illuminating book, you will definitely have a glimpse into a colorful and fascinating life.
Rating: really liked it
“Look me in the eyes, young man!”
“Nobody trusts a man who won’t look them in the eye.”
“You look like a criminal.”
“I’ve read about people like you. They have no expression because they have no feeling. Some of the worst murderers in history were sociopaths.”
These are just some of the things John Elder Robison heard as a young boy, decades before a friend handed him a book about Asperger’s Syndrome and told him, "This book describes you exactly." Hearing these predictions made Robison withdraw even further as a child as he waited for these awful things to come true. It wasn’t until he was a teenager that he realized he wasn’t going to become a serial killer. By that time he had met enough shifty people who had no trouble looking him in the eye to realize that these people had no idea what they were talking about. Learning that he was not defective and that he was not alone brought great peace to the adult John Elder Robison.
Although Robison was raised by a violent, alcoholic father and an increasingly mentally unstable mother, he was luckier than most Aspergian children at that time in that he was raised in a collegiate environment, where his quirky nature and adult personality were admired by professors and students. He honed his coping skills on college campuses across America. His brother, Augusten Burroughs, chronicled the dysfunction of the Robison family in his popular memoir, Running with Scissors (made into a movie in 2006). Burroughs believes that his brother was able to survive their turbulent childhood by his ability to shut down in traumatic situations.
Robison learned early on how not to answer a question. If a kid said, “Look at my Tonka truck,” instead of blurting out “I want some cookies,” he would force himself to supply the correct response: “That’s a neat truck! Can I hold it?” These skills helped him in his teenage and adult years, and he went on to design speakers for Pink Floyd and flaming guitars for KISS before settling down in the corporate world of designing electronic games for Milton Bradley. Eventually, his expertise in automotives steered him towards his own business of repairing and restoring European automobiles.
Some who are familiar with Aspies might be surprised at the emotion that Robison brings to his story. The chapters “I Get a Bear Cub” and “Winning at Basketball,” and the epilogue about his father’s death are surprisingly touching, breaking through the common robotic barrier of an Aspie. I was especially moved by his perfectly rational reason why Aspies don’t show emotion over tragic events that don’t directly affect them: "People die every minute, all over the world. If we tried to feel sorry for every death, our little hearts would explode." And he’s absolutely right.
Look Me in the Eye is one of the few books on Asperger's Syndrome that is not a dry training manual on the condition. I will always be grateful to Robison for telling his story because someone I'm close to has Asperger's, and I can now see that this person's eccentric way of doing things makes perfectly good sense to him, even if it sometimes doesn't to me.
Rating: really liked it
I had no idea John Robison was Augusten Burrough's brother! He gives the foreword in the book.
This is a really sad story of a boy's childhood. He had family with troubles, kids and people that were mean. They didn't know he had something like he had and people didn't understand most of that stuff back then. They don't even understand it now. A lot of people are just mean.
Just because someone has any kind of mental or medical issue doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. They are not monsters!
--->EXCERPT<---
By the time I was twelve, I had progressed from "If he doesn't get better, he may have to be institutionalized" to "He's a weird, screwed-up kid." But although my communication abilities had developed by leaps and bounds, people had ever higher expectations for me, and I began having trouble with what the therapists called "inappropriate expressions."John was also abused by his alcoholic father. It makes me sick. Anyone that gets abused, it makes me sick.
I might sob, or I might be quiet. It depended on how hard he hit me. I thought of the knife my grandfather had given me for Christmas. Solingen steel. Eight inches long. Sharp. I could roll over and jam it into him, right to the hilt. Right in the belly. But I was afraid. What if I miss? What if it doesn't kill him? I had seen the movies, where they just kept coming. They didn't die like they were supposed to. He might kill me for real, then.But not all is doom and gloom. John was very smart and making things. He actually made guitars and made these awesome guitars for Ace Frehley! How cool is that?
Smoking guitars, fire guitars, you name it.
But the thing is, this book is just another good book for people to learn a little more about how people are treated with Asperger's. Some are not treated bad but we all know the world, there seems to be more bad people than good.
*I would like to thank Random House and Blogging for Books for a print copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.*
MY BLOG: Melissa Martin's Reading List
Rating: really liked it
I bought this book on a whim (so that my order would get free shipping from Amazon.com). I was quickly horrified to learn that the author is the real-life brother of Augusten Burroughs, author of
Running with Scissors. I did not enjoy that memoir at all. Go read my review of it so see what exactly I hated, if you're so curious. But I decided that I would try not to hold Robison's family against him and read his book.
I have to admit, given my son's placement on the autism spectrum, books that approach that subject matter spark my interest. Robison's memoir focuses on his view of the world as a person living with Asperger's, and for a very large portion of his life, without a dianosis. So many moments I saw characteristics common to my son, and it made me consider that raising of such a child. It's clear that I could not read this book with my usual academic detachment.
But here goes with the rest. Much of his writing was interesting. I mean, who doesn't want to hear about the life of a guy designing smoking guitars? However, there were chapters that were a bit bland, overly analytical, and just there for information. Parts like that read like a brochure in a psychiatrist's office. But to be fair, Aspergians can definitely be that way, so it was truth in style, more or less. For me, the very best part of this book was the epilogue. It was interesting and heart warming. Robison was able to do something his brother failed to do in
Running With Scissors, conclude the story. It ended, and I was content. As a reader, I can't ask for much more.
Rating: really liked it
Before I read John Elder Robison's LOOK ME IN THE EYE: MY LIFE WITH ASPERGER'S, I knew enough about the syndrome and about my brother to mentally peel off the Asperger's label that my mother stuck on my late brother. Nevertheless, I wanted access to the interior of someone with Asperger's. Yes, I was well aware of the fact that it's not a "one-size-fits-all" syndrome and that looking at people and experiences through Robison's eyes wouldn't enable me to prove the unprovable. Having no interest in the lives of the abusive alcoholic father and certifiably crazy mother of Augusten Burroughs and John Elder Robison, no interest in KISS and the other bands that benefitted from Robison's brilliance, no interest in complex electrical engineering projects, I read LOOK ME IN THE EYE for only one reason. I wanted to compare -- call me "irrational" or something more insulting -- a man with Asperger's and my brother. I wanted to feel, from the first page of Robison's memoir to the last, that I was not reading about my brother. I unhesitatingly gave LOOK ME IN THE EYE four stars -- because I got what I wanted.
One of my high school English teachers got her students to spell "weird" correctly by writing on the blackboard: WE are all a little WEird. And perhaps we are all at least a little Aspergian.
Rating: really liked it
‘Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s’ by John Elder Robison is the autobiography of Augusten Burroughs' brother. Burroughs is the more famous brother who wrote Running with Scissors under a name he had chosen himself because he disliked his father and the name he had been given at birth. John is eight years older than Burroughs, and he thinks he and his brother had very different parenting as a result. In any case, they both had tough childhoods due to their father’s alcoholism and their mother’s mental illness.
I kept feeling jolts of recognition in John’s descriptions of his mental processing and problems in dealing with other people. This book is very interesting, but I think some people will skim those parts where Robison details his work, inventions, and interests. To me, though, the
manner in which he details those interests was EXACTLY the same manner, the cadence of thought, if you forgive my presumption, of an individual I know personally. Wow!
I have copied the book blurb because it is accurate:
”Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.” No guidance came from his mother, who conversed with light fixtures, or his father, who spent evenings pickling himself in sherry. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.
After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a “real” job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be “normal” and do what he simply couldn’t: communicate. It wasn’t worth the paycheck.
It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself—and the world.
Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger’s at a time when the diagnosis simply didn’t exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as “defective,” who could not avail himself of KISS’s endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people’s given names (he calls his wife “Unit Two”). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents—the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors.
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison’s journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner—repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.”I know someone on the autism spectrum. For ten years I thought this person might be a sociopath, but there were puzzling differences from what I read in psychology books. When autism began to be talked and written about, I felt like a lightening bolt had struck me! This! This! He was clearly high functioning, able to work, even was promoted to management. Yet. There was chaos.
There were odd mishaps because of crazy clumsiness. It is definitely obvious he thoroughly studies a problem and comes up with solutions or conclusions which are completely either incompetent due to no clue of what is common knowledge or his ideas are brilliantly innovative and off the wall. In certain areas, he was genius, like in anything mechanical, but he also had a sometimes annoying confidence in himself as the only one who could do it right even if one could see he kinda was doing it the hard way. He can’t ‘read the room.’ He doesn’t recognize people by their faces or names, instead does so by their clothes or voice. He refused to call people he knew by their names; instead he gave them descriptive names, like calling his niece “The Girl” all of the time. He can’t tolerate at all hundreds of ordinary things - many sounds, anything tight, things like toothpaste or shampoo being put in the ‘wrong’ place’ or not set EXACTLY there where he had put it where it was the perfect place (“don’t touch it!”) or things that are not being used the ‘right way’, the color red (???), certain shapes, particular asymmetrical ones, that simply look wrong or scary - ffs, scary!
Many things which are insignificant or tolerable to most of us, things which I didn’t ever notice or care if I did, he can’t bear them. He has learned to surreptitiously change whatever room or environment or conversation topic he is around. My god, is he sly! I keep my silence when I see him manipulate people to change their conversation to something less personal (changes topics to in-depth discussion of weather, airplanes, cars, mechanical repairs) or move objects to a different spot or even hide them from his sight. He squares up everything - objects on a table, pictures on a wall. So casually! He seems to ONLY be interested in weather, cars and in how objects, things like radios, worked. He takes everything apart to understand its mechanisms, and sometimes loses all interest in putting it back together to the frustration of the owner of whatever device he just HAD to take apart. Every computer, or device like a remote, I have ever decided is too old to sell, he has taken apart and then tells me what every single little component must be and do. He refuses to throw away anything mechanical which is broken. He has learned to make jokes (terrible), and keep his voice relaxed, light, despite that he actually is very serious and will not tolerate dissent or disagreements without extreme annoyance, even rage. Knowing him as I do, I head off the tantrum I can see building by distraction, changing the subject.
Strangely, most people never notice his, or my, maneuvering! Only those folks who do things or go places with him a lot, and then only over a long period of time, start to see it. It’s amazing. For me, though, I can see he has memorized how to act like the majority of us in so many ways. Even so, I am asked sometimes, “is he autistic?” There was a time when no one who picked up on his quirks asked me this, they just decided he was crazy. Now, he fascinates them, but they limit their time with him sometimes. I believe he doesn’t know. He can’t ‘read’ nuances or subtleties, and I have definitely had to step in on occasion to prevent a situation he is misinterpreting as disrespect or an insult. Omg, btw, satire is a trigger for rage! But most humor is quite impossible for him to truly grok, and his own natural humor is shockingly tone deaf, mean, and cruel to those who can’t follow his reasoning! So. It’s better he memorizes things to say and joke about for sure. He tells great jokes! There is a section in Robison's book about humor, and omg did this resonate with me!
To me, 'Look Me in the Eye' is absolutely authentic.
Rating: really liked it
A thoughtful and entertaining memoir of someone who has Asperger's, but he wasn't diagnosed until he was 40. Before then, John knew there was something wrong with him, but he didn't know what. When he was young he wanted to make friends and be part of a team, but he had trouble talking to other kids. He couldn't understand social cues and didn't understand when other people got mad at him for asking inappropriate questions or smiling at the wrong times. Worst of all, John would often look at the floor when someone talked to him, and grownups often yelled at him to "look me in the eye! What are you hiding?"
John Elder Robison is also known for being the brother of Augusten Burroughs, who wrote "Running With Scissors." Both brothers are wonderful storytellers, and John has some great ones. After he dropped out of high school, he started working with a local band because he was good at fixing their sound equipment. One day he ran into some of the tech crew for Pink Floyd, and he was able to fix their speakers. This led to a job traveling around the country fixing sound equipment for other bands, and he also designed special effects for Ace Frehley from KISS. Later, John worked at Milton Bradley designing some early electronic games. Throughout his life, John enjoyed playing pranks on people and telling long tales.
The book does a good job of showing the thought processes of someone with Asperger's. I work with some students who are on the autism spectrum, and it helped to get more insight into how they might think.
Rating: really liked it
very funny book! describes bits and pieces of Asperger's, but it is not a book about Asperger's. It is a very funny life story of someone who understands that there are social mores, but has to eventually learn to do them and even as an adult remind himself to follow them. I say that it is funny because he is very light hearted about his trials and tribulations.
One thing he mentions about asperger's is the autistic spectrum, and that with his strong memories of himself as a child, he strongly feels that if he had not been around other people who offered social and intellectual stimulation for him, he may have slipped into autism. I think this is incredibly important for parents to realize and to obtain early intervention if they even suspect delays with their child.
JER further goes on to explain that as he progressed socially through the years, he lost many of his abilities. He looks at work (circuits and things) that he's done 25 years prior and knows he could never work at that level again. He writes that it was worth the trade off to be more socially accepted, and happy, pointing out that he believes that it is not that autistic kids choose to be alone and not interact, but that they want to and just can't.
Rating: really liked it
I finished this book last week. At first I wasn't sure I'd like the book, b/c I wasn't sure I liked the author! He described a lot of what I considered to be mean spirited pranks he'd play on people, including on his little brother- who was going through his own trials and tribulations. . .Then as I read on I got to truly appreciate and admire this remarkable man. He tells a great story, honestly sharing his struggles and joys. I was relieved in many parts of the book, to learn that he was able to rise to such successes, given all the obstacles he had to face.
I think this book could be very encouraging to readers w/AS.. but it could also be perhaps discouraging too.. as the author is a high functioning Aspie, brilliant, successful, married w/a kid.. I know many people w/AS may feel that this level of functioning is unattainable for them.. There are countless Aspies who can't even make friends never mind finding a mate, who long for gainful employment but can't hold even a simple job. So my hope is that it is not discouraging to the wonderful eccentrics out there who can't attain the same level as Robison.
Rating: really liked it
I was expecting this memoir to be an astonishing insight into Asperger's syndrome, a glimpse into the mind of the author. Instead, what I got was a bunch of semi-interesting stories about this dude's life, with the Asperger's aspect as almost an afterthought. Other reviews I've read have called Robison a "born storyteller" but I personally didn't find this to be all that engrossing. You'd think that one would be able to make touring with Kiss into a enjoyable story...but the writing was so
robotic that it wasn't holding my attention very well. I suppose that's part of the syndrome itself, which is why I'm giving this a second star. It was ok.
Rating: really liked it
Haven't read Augusten Burroughs' books so didn't feel a connection on that level.
Sorry the author had a crappy childhood (like a lot of kids w/alcoholic parents) and that he had a tough time socially (like a lot of kids) but this guy has had a way more successful life than almost anyone I know ...
Not 1 but 3 amazingly successful lucrative careers, not 1 but 2 deep and meaningful long-term relationships, a great kid, a beautiful house ...
Am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he's a genius w/Asperger's? I dunno. Not particularly detailed, pretty much straight narrative. Easy to read. Best part was when he was designing exploding guitars for the band Kiss.
Overall, eh.
Rating: really liked it
I really wanted to like this book. I was reading it for a class and had to compare it to other accounts of people with Asperger's. However, not only did I dislike it due to the poor writing, but also because it really didn't seem to agree with Robison's assessment of Asperger's. A lot of what he attributes to the condition (dangerous pranks, manipulation, lying) seems less to do with him being an Aspie than him just being a jerk. I couldn't see the humor in his interactions or his pranks, (Like leaving his brother head first in a deep hole, or making "cocaine" at work) despite his dismissal in epilogue claiming no one got hurt.
I was also rubbed the wrong way by the tone of the book. I realize that Robison overcame a lot in his life, but his writing came off too smug for me to have any other emotions other than dislike towards him. For example, he claims that he single handedly saves the toy company that he worked for (Not that he got any credit). I also found it frustrating that he desired to be understood and treated with respect by others, but lacked the same courtesy towards others. For example in his chapter about naming, he talks about naming people what he like (He calls his wife Unit 2, and his parents Slave and Stupid), but gets angry when they don't respect his made-up names.
Last, I was troubled with Robison's chapter about how Asperger's is essentially a choice. He writes how he was able to improve his communication and his interactions with the outside world. He was able to do this because he "chose Door #1" and didn't withdraw into himself. He feels badly for children who "choose Door #2" and become uncommunicative. I feel like by making Asperger's seem like a choice, it disrespects and blames the children (and their families) who are on a different part of the spectrum.
