User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
One of my favourite things about following a writer's journey from the first book they published to their most recent work is that you can see how they grow and how much they improve their craft. It's like seeing your baby strive. Just fills me with joy. The first time I saw this happen was with Leigh Bardugo. With each of the Shadow & Bone books she improved her storytelling and then Six of Crows came around the corner and took. my. breath. away. It's so cool to see an artist find their rhythm and I can proudly say that Loveless is Alice at her best.
There are so many things I loved. It was a super sex-positive novel and a whole chapter was dedicated to masturbation. It also happened to be the funniest chapter in the book and had me in tears on the floor. It's important to know that there is no shame in having many casual sexual partners, no shame in masturbation. Equally important is the knowledge that even though it seems like everyone is obsessed with sex and finding a partner, it's perfectly okay if you've not kissed anyone, whether you're 18 or 24 or 40. Either it wasn't the right moment or it's not for you. And while there's so much pressure to have a relationship and to lose your virginity, our worth isn't measured in the age that we first had sex, when we came out or if we did either of these things in the first place. No one has the right to make you feel bad for being you and taking things at your own stride.
I also loved the strong focus on friendships. Friends, even best friends, often seems to take the runner-up position once someone is in a relationship and it frustrates me when I see that happening. I'd argue that friends are the most important relationships in your life. And like any relationship, friendships go through ups and downs and need attention and care. But good friends will always be there for you and never leave your side. That's why I so enjoy novels about friendships. I don't need romance. Friendships are just as real and complex and fascinating.
Something else that was incredibly well-done was the slow-burn romance between two characters that I won't be naming. It's pretty obvious once you start reading and I knew they would end up together eventually but I don't want to take the surprise away in case you were gnawing at your nails because you couldn't cope with the tension. It was so GOOD. And so FUNNY. I've said it before: Alice Oseman is so good at writing slow-burn romance that sometimes two characters that are clearly made for each other don't even end up together at the end of the book *cough*IWBFT*cough*. Luckily, this time they did but it was a long and entertaining and incredibly cute journey. And I must say that the humour is this book was so on point. (Three words: wank fantasy sisters.)
Generally, the diversity and representation in this book filled my heart with love. So much queerness, so inclusive, and so careful to avoid stereotypes and harmful representation (0fc I can't speak for everyone with my own limited experience but it all felt genuine). It never feels forced, never feels like tokenism. It also made me look back at my term at the University of Edinburgh, and although I wasn't exactly a fresher, I was new to the university and went to pub nights and parties and pride soc meetings just like the characters in the book. It felt so accurate and real, even though it's set in Durham, not Edinburgh.
I'm also happy for the aromantic and asexual community and that the visibility and representation in books and the media of people on the spectrum is slowly growing. Just as gay novels helped me see myself for who I am, helped me feel validated and grow, I know that this book has the potential to reach aro/ace readers and do similar things for them and hopefully helps other voices to be heard. One experience isn't everyone's experience and it's important to have a variety of perspectives.
In other words, we don’t deserve Alice Oseman.
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Rating: really liked it
1000*I don't know how to talk about things I like *stars!
" I used to dream of a spellbinding, endless, forever romance. A beautiful story of meeting a person who could change your whole world.
But now, I realized, friendship could be that too."
It was a lot.
Like a" lot a lot".
This book is a part of me and I felt it in heart right in the middle and my soul .
©Ctto
Platonic love+ friendship + drama+ college life+ lots of ShakespeareI have read quite a few books in which ace or aro characters are used as side characters but this book here guys took the concept of
friendship love story to a whole new level!
It's quaint , cute , magical and lovely . This book made me so deeply emotional the way their friendship was explored and scented !!
Okay so moving on to the characters ( I really really love all five of them soo much!!)
1. Georgia :- aro/ace protagonist ,shy, confused about herself, introvert, hates partying not because she is under confident but she dreads the idea of sweat bodies and slippery floors, loves theatre ,who sets off to journey to her college in search of love but end up realizing that how platonic friendship are just as important and just as beautiful !! I really really love her like I could totally connect to her expect some parts. I wanna quote some parts here:-
"I might just have a brain aneurism at any moment and then I’d be dead, without having fallen in love, without having even figured out who I was and what I wanted."
"It was so easy to romanticize romance because it was everywhere. I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found that nothing was there.
A mirage."
"Picturing fanfic characters having sex? Great. Fine. Sexy. But picturing myself having sex with anyone, guy, girl, whoever, didn’t interest me.
Are you getting the idea what I am saying?
I can't here literally tell you what I am feeling but yes I am feeling something so strong and important right now because of this book that I have never felt in ages!
2. Roomey :- pan-sexual , Georgia roommate , fun , bubbly , Shakespeare fanatic , chaotic ball of energy, sex positive party girl, scared of getting close to people.
3.
Pip and Jason :- Georgia bestfriend.
Pip ( highly lesbian) Jason( intellectual guy).
4.
Sunil :- non binary ace , confident, eloquent, wise ,president of pride society .
The story involved a lot of drama like two characters falling in love, Georgia hurting her best friends feelings in quest of identifying herself, Fights, banter , love , friendship , setting up Shakespeare plays ( yes all five of them set up Shakespeare society !)
It's a roller coaster ride!
Now there are some really beautiful scenes, where literally they proposed each other like love confessions with friends , it's new , refreshing and I want it to totally normal!
I was crying reading the end like my life depends on it. This book made such a strong impact on me! Like I guess I am never gonna forget it ever! And I know I will be rereading it again and again because why not if something makes you happy you should adore it !
Some more lines :-
✒How had I never noticed that before? Like, almost all songs ever written are about romance or sex. And it felt like they were taunting me.
✒The idea of romance was beautiful. But the reality made me sick.
✒I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live.
✒And this time there was no big declaration. No grand gesture.
It was just us, holding each other.
✒I had been so desperate for my idea of true love that I couldn’t even see it when it was right in front of my face. 🎈
Rating: really liked it
LOVELESS is my fourth YA novel! It features:
- an aromantic asexual coming-out story set at Durham University
- a small group of unlikely friends trying to save the Shakespeare Society by putting on a very weird play
- a plan to 'find love' that goes very wrong indeed
- a directorial rivalry fraught with sexual tension between two queer girls
- a battle on a bouncy castle
- some very strong opinions about Scooby-Doo
- learning that platonic love can be just as powerful - if not more so, sometimes - than romantic love
I really hope you enjoy it!!
Available to pre-order now!
UK: Waterstones / Amazon / Hive / Foyles
Ireland: Easons
Aus/NZ: Dymocks
International: Book Depository
Rating: really liked it
➽ Radio Silence ★★★★★
➽ I Was Born for This ★★★★
I don’t want to do a full review on this because I do not want to fight with people on this, nor be in any kind of bookish spotlight right now. But I still will say some brief thoughts, because I know people will be curious, because most people have given this five stars. Also, so many of my friends saw themselves within these pages and that’s so important and so valid. Here are some of their reviews that I recommend you check out: Ellie, Jill, & Lily!
Sadly, for me, this book just made me feel an immense amount of shame. I ID as pansexual, panromantic, demiromantic. And in my opinion, I feel like this book very much makes the reader feel like this is THE ONLY aroace experience, and…. it is just not. Sexuality can be so very fluid, and especially your feelings and experiences on the aro and ace spectrums can be so very vast and different.
I also want to remind readers, especially young readers still searching for labels that feel right to them, that there is no right or wrong way to be queer within any identity. I also want to remind people that you do not owe anyone your sexual experiences. And that you can have casual sex, you can kiss your friends, you can go out every night to clubs, you can truly do whatever you want as long as you’re being safe and it’s making you happy. Also, some ace people do have sex, whether because they are indifferent, or being they choose to with their partner(s), or maybe even to have children, or maybe to just orgasm, there are a lot of different reasons, because there are a lot of different experiences on these spectrums. And there is no right or wrong.
The pan character in this book starts out as a confident, very sexually active character, but soon you learn she has a sad, abusive backstory, and uses sex as a coping mechanism because she feels unloveable (because obv that’s what pan representation needs more of in 2020, right?), and the character is even forced to call herself an asshole and apologize to the main character for a misunderstanding completely on the main characters part (while also making her acephobic as fuck before the misunderstanding happened!) It made me cry, it made me disgusted, and it made me feel so much shame that I don’t even have words to write in this non-review.
In my opinion, this main character is sex repulsed, which is valid, but those words are never used on page. Instead, she just shames any and everyone (friends and strangers) constantly for doing sexual things. She also assumes she knows the pan character’s partners and how they are horrible friends who don’t know her, based on absolutely nothing. The TL;DR is that not all ace people are disgusted by sex, or disgusted by other people choosing to do whatever they want with their own bodies and lives. And I think this story could be potentially very harmful for people, but especially teens, questioning themselves on the aro and ace spectrums.
Also, there are two people of color in this story; one is there to teach the main character about being aroace (and even though she does add a sentence about how she can google herself, she still uses them to completely educate her) and the other is her best friend who is incredibly loud and petty and mean for no reason, honestly.
Lastly, when the main character cared more about her jacket rather than pushing a human into a fire at the start of this novel, I didn’t have the highest of hopes. Yet, it truly got worse and truly hurt me to read. If any of these things sound like they could be potentially harmful to you, I suggest you use caution. And again, I just want to say that this is ONE aroace experience, not the only. You and your journey are valid.
Trigger and Content Warnings: experimenting with someone without them knowing, talk of an abusive relationship in the past, and acephobia.
Additionally, my friends (who I buddy read this with, what an experience we had, whew lads!) wrote actual in-depth reviews about their feelings and experiences with
Loveless that I really also recommend you check out: Maëlys & Lea
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Buddy read with Maëlys & Lea! (AKA: the Jason defense squad) ❤
❤ I read this for A-spec August!
Rating: really liked it
Fuck, this book broke me. One of the most relatable books I've ever read, easily a new all time favorite ever. Alice Osman is incredible.
I can't explain with words what this book means to me so instead I'll link you to the vlog where I cried my eyes out over this book: https://youtu.be/9Xyva5SK7IM
Rating: really liked it
4.5 stars.
“Give your friendships the magic you would give a romance. Because they're just as important. Actually, for us, they're way more important.”
This is my first ace/aro book, so, it feels refreshing have a little bit of representation, even if it's not entirely like that (I felt it that way, tho, this is my case) for me. The review is from my POV on this, my feelings and reactions, ok? ok, thanks.
Btw, if there's something that can be misunderstood, let me know and I'll change it.
Georgia Warr has never been in love or kissed, and she's just 18. But she thinks she'll find a person some day. This is fine, actually, many people haven't had their first kiss in their teen years, and that's totally ok!
Look at me, the next month I'll turn 23 and I've never kissed anyone. I used to think that THAT fact it was going to be the end of the world, since my friends were having romances at 15/16 y/o, having their first romantic relationship and their first kisses, and even sex. I had a lot of crushes at that age with many people, but I never thought it was important to have a relationship with someone. And
that little fact was something to my ex classmates joke about like for 3/4 years. So, you can imagine how bad I felt for it.
That bullying from my ex classmates generated on me a lot of insecurities, because they made me feel like I was a weirdo or a loser for not having kissed anyone by that time. I really believed that there was something
wrong with me. At that age, we believe a lot of things that others tell us, so, I was naive and stupid for think that all of those things were true.
In high school, had crushes too, but I never had a relationship because people only think in one thing (in my country, sadly is like that): sex. Back in my old school, I had a traumatic event that made me make sure about my sexuality, even if by that age I didn't know anything about it. So, in high school, I just had crushes, but didn't know what was that lack of sex desire toward the others. I never told this to anyone, because my ex "friends" really let me down making me believe that, indeed, I was a weirdo for not having pair or my first kiss yet.
In the university, things changed. I made one year in History and I met the most beautiful and amazing girl on my French class. She's bi and her mind is so open and she's smart. I fell for her, we talked but I never confessed to her my feelings (yes, I'm a coward and I hate me for this). When I changed to my actual career, literature, I met one of my best friends. She's pan and once, while we talked with my other friends, she asked us who we fancied, I said: "no one", with fear believing that I was gonna be rejected or they were gonna laugh of me. My friend smiled at me and said "oh, you're asexual".
I've heard that term before, but I didn't know what it meant, so I asked her if she could please explain me. She explained me a lot about the ace spectrums and I cried in front of my friends for two reasons: 1) they weren't judging me for haven't had a pair or my first kiss yet, and 2) because I finally had a name for my sexuality and I didn't feel entirely alone. My friends were and are very supportive with me and they mean the
world to me. So, yes, I agree with that: friends mean a lot, even more when they're the correct ones.
I've had a hard time accepting myself, I've struggled for
years with myself, who I am and it's been a long process. I haven't come out to my family for many reasons, but mainly because they're very mind-closed and that scares me. I told my bestfriend (ex bestfriend by now) that I'm ace. And he laughed at me, when I explained him what it was asexuality, he said that it's an excuse for not having sex or pair before (he was in love with me and I rejected him like 6 years ago, lmao). That of course that made me feel like shit. But I realized that there's
NOTHING wrong with me, that people will not always understand and that's ok, but I'm getting away from them.
For years, I struggled so bad trying to accept me, to love me, because I had dark years when I hated me so much. I was in a dark place for so long, but when I finally accepted me for who I am, I naturally cried like a baby, but I felt proud of myself. It's a big fucking step, but I'm no longer afraid of me. Yes, I'm still afraid of some people the whole time, but this is me trying. (please, get the taylor reference)
This book having one of its main plots in friends touched me so bad. I wish I had those friends when I was 15 to 19 years, to encourage me, to support me and tell me that things were gonna be ok. I had found those friends now, and I look back to my old me and I don't feel pity or sadness anymore. Of course, I keep crying because I feel like I've waisted my life, or like future is uncertain and it scares me as fuck. But I'm proud of me, and
no one can make me feel like I'm not worth it or like I'm weird.
"My future still terrified me. But everything seemed a little brighter when my best friends were around."
I still wanna fall in love, have a romantic relationship and feel those things, u know? Even if I feel like I won't gonna find someone who accepts me for who I am, and that shit is scaring.
So, yes, I enjoyed this book, even if I wanted to kick Georgia
so bad for many things and cry for others.
Maybe nobody has told you this today, or you needed to read it/hear it, but:
You are loved, you are valid, you are so fucking perfect the way you are. Never doubt about it. If you are struggling with so many things, take a break and breathe, take a deep breathe, cry, jump, laugh, do whatever you want, but you know what? You are gonna be ok. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will, and when you look back, you will feel proud of yourself and you'll smile so bright like the sun.
It's a bad moment, not a bad life. And yes, please, never forget this.And just like Bruno Mars said: 'cause, hey, you're amazing, just the way you are. :)
Also, Pip's mom is my heroine. She lived in Colombia and Manuel in London, and when Manuel went to visit his grandma, they met and fell in love. And they moved to LonDON. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I NEED THAT, PLEASE, TAKE ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY, I'M SOBBING.
"The I am loveless mood has just gone."
"Neither of us were alone in this."
There was something that it seemed a little bit out of line there. Not all aces are sex-repulsed. Idk if I'm the only one who understood that. But there are other aces who are not sex-repulsed. It's not wrong tho, it just gave me that impression.
Also, a mention for tmm gang, they're the best people i've ever met, i love them with my life and i'm very thankful for calling them my friends. :') guys, if you see this, you know who are you, demons and angels <3
previous review my heart is some sort of broken and fixed at the same. i guess i needed something like this :')
RTC
i jUST READ ACE AND I'M HERE ALL THE WAY TO READ IT AND CRY
Rating: really liked it
my review for loveless is finally up! ✨it's a long one, so I will be linking to it on my blog rather than posting it on here. As a reader, I saw a lot of my own a-spec experience within the book, and that was amazing, but it also had (unintentional) content which let down other identities (including friends within those identities), and that is something which must be highlighted and discussed.
anyway, you can find my full review
here I do hope that loveless opens the gates for more a-spec books to be published, and they are able to learn from loveless's pros and cons to handle the intersection of topics and identities in a better way. And it is entirely possible to read loveless and relate to the heroine's experience, but also be cognizant of how and where it lets other identities down at the same time.
loveless is not the only book about the aromantic and asexual experience to exist, but it has been one of the most anticipated and publicised ones. If you are interested in reading others, I co-wrote an always-updating masterlist of a-spec books that's posted here:
Beyond A Bookshelf A-Spec Masterlist. But may I suggest
Summer Bird Blue, by Akemi Dawn Bowman, which is another YA contemporary with wonderful a-spec questioning rep, where I saw my own experience reflected so much.
Read for #AspecAugust 2020. **
pre-review:
omh hello am I reading this right? Am I right in assuming this has an aro-ace heroine? Am I crying because the premise of this book sounds inherently familiar to my life experience? Yes, yes I am.
for people saying they've never read a book with an a-spec narrator before, whilst waiting for this one I would definitely recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman! I personally connected to it a lot.
Rating: really liked it
☆ 1 / 5 ☆
You can find my full review here ☆
Let me say that this seems to be a very personal book to Alice Oseman and that it is obviously a very valid experience of being aroace and I won’t take that away from it. However, I despised the way it presented this character’s journey as THE aroace experience and as someone on the aroace spectrum, I felt very misrepresented and like my own experience was being invalidated. Not only do I think this can be harmful to others on the aroace spectrum and questioning folks who have different experiences, but this book also constantly diminishes and dismisses other identities. I’m truly happy to see people feeling fully represented by this main character and this book but
it also makes me incredibly uncomfortable to see the disregard of other experiences, and the mistreatment of other lgbtqia identities and characters of colour be completely ignored.If you are on the aroace spectrum and this totally represents you, you are valid. If you are on the aroace spectrum and do not relate to this experience at all, or only a little, you are valid. If you felt hurt in any shape or form by this book, you are so valid.
The aroace spectrum is not a monolith, we exist with a plethora of experiences and feelings that many want to dismiss, and it is hurtful to see that being expressed in a book that is supposed to be a safe place, a comfort, something you thought you’d relate to.
It is frankly quite concerning to see the lack of nuance, tact and empathy every other experience and identity was treated with in this book and that very few seem to have a problem with that.
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Buddy read with Melanie and Lea ♡
Rating: really liked it
Before I go into any of this review, let me say that I am very aware that this book has made so many people feel incredibly seen, for many for the first time, and I am so very happy about that. But I want to share my personal experience and perspective as honestly as possible and I do not like to hold back when I think something is genuinely doing more harm than good. I not only found many things portrayed in it not well represented whatsoever but this book was really hurtful to me personally in the way that it portrayed one experience as THE aromantic asexual experience. And
I hope that this community can respect my opinion without me disclosing my own orientation.Also this will have mild spoilers, so I can actually go into detail.
Loveless tried to do a lot of good but ended up just being harmful, hurtful and offensive, invalidating literally everyone that doesn't have the exact same experience as the main character.
This is one of those books that shows that
ownvoices does not necessarily mean a book can do no harm or has perfect representation. This book would've immensely benefited from having sensitivity readers for the other identities portrayed AND for the aroace representation too, especially as aromantic and asexual is such a huge spectrum.
I think that a lot of the questionable things in this book could've been avoided by having gone through a sensitivity read by someone who, for example, is asexual but not sex-repulsed.
And by that I do not mean that this book needed to be relatable to everybody on the aroace spectrum but the least it could've done is make more of an effort to explain the differences and not invalidate everybody who is anywhere else on the spectrum. This identity gets explained literally once and when the main character, Georgia, actually does some research herself, she quickly logs off because she finds it too overwhelming. And while that is valid, is it just not enough for a book like this.
Georgia is clearly sex-repulsed but the word does not get used on-page ONCE and I just think that this is a problem. A sex-repulsed experience exists but it is not THE aroace experience, even tough this book sadly ends up portraying it like that.
And I get that this is a story focused on figuring your sexuality out but it really took 45% for us to get to that ONE explanation of what asexual and aromantic means. Basically no one had ever heard of this term before, except Georgia, who didn't know what it was, even though she clearly spends a lot of time on the internet (and NOT the straight corners of it). It quite frankly seemed very convenient but made all of this unbelievable.
And what would've been so wrong with the character understanding these words earlier in the story but still coming to terms with the fact that that is how she feels and identifies? Instead we have to go through this character bulldozing her way through literally everybody else's feelings, experiences and identities in order to figure this out.
But this book does not only have an aroace coming out story. It also has the storyline of Rooney, Georgia's roommate, who she becomes friends with very quickly,
figuring out she is pansexual. And we get so little pansexual representation in books, that it's especially harmful when the little rep we do have perpetuates a harmful stereotype like it does in this case.
This character is portrayed as someone who seems very sex positive but throughout this book we find out that she basically only slept with people as a coping mechanism for her feelings and emotions that she doesn't want to deal with. And I am not saying that this experience can't be valid but, first of all, this book really needed this perspective of sex being something that many people do enjoy and can do without any commitment, and, again, all of this just perpetuated an already harmful stereotype without ever talking about it.
And with an identity that is so little represented, when you want to feature a full coming out story of a character (even if it is a side-character), you need to do a better job at explaining what pansexuality actually means, ESPECIALLY if you also constantly put pan and bi in the same bracket.
We never once got an explanation of what pansexuality actually means or what the difference between bi and pan is.
Quote: “She said she just doesn’t think she really has a gender preference and that felt like the right word for her!!!!” That is not enough if you feature a pansexual coming-out story so prominently.
And do not even get me started on when Georgia said "stop erasing my identity" in a conversation with Rooney about falling in love, when she could've brought up a very legit discussion on aromanticism or the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to her. Instead, she treats Rooney in the dismissive way she was so tired of being treated by everyone else.
I even would've found it completely valid to have this portrayed as an experience that is realizing "oh wait, this is not how everybody else feels?" instead of a "finding people you relate to"-experience, but the
main character's thoughts towards everybody else were constantly shaming them. It is okay to be sex-repulsed but you can't place that on everyone else when sex is such a natural part of many people's lives and something that they enjoy.
You cannot yell at and shame your friend, who you know has a lot of sex and just shared personal things with you, like what gender she fantasizes having sex with while she masturbates.
Quote: “‘This has to be a fucking joke,’ I blurted. Rooney paused. ‘What?’ I sat up, pushing the covers off my body. ‘Everyone has to be fucking JOKING.’ ‘What d’you–’ ‘People are really out there just … thinking about having sex all the time and they can’t even help it?’ I spluttered. ‘People have dreams about it because they want it that much? How the–I’m losing it. I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you’re all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke.’”Also I wonder how a book that focuses so heavily on sexuality, has a super prominent non-binary side character AND a character that comes out as pansexual,
could still READ SO BINARY! No one ever ACTUALLY acknowledged the existence of there being more than two genders.
And the fact that Sunil, the one non-binary character, wears a pin that says "he/they" but never once gets addressed with they/them pronouns, not even by their BEST FRIEND, is on another level too. Why introduce them using they/them pronouns when you are not going to use it? Genuinely makes me wonder who edited this book too.
There is a lot to say on
how the people of colour get treated in this book as well. Like for example the way that Sunil, who is Indian, is only there to do all kinds of (emotional) labour for the main character. Or how Goergia's best friend, Pip, who is Latinx, is portrayed like a stereotype. Or how terribly Georgia treats her throughout this entire book. Or how she says "I would choose to be gay" to her face after they just had a talk about how it hasn't been easy for Pip to be a Latina and lesbian.. seriously, I could go on and on and on.
I would encourage you all to check out Maëlys's review because she will talk about this (and many other things too) in more detail.
And while the book definitely tried to put out the message that platonic love can be just as or even more valuable than romantic love,
it just missed the mark. This is a message that I always find so important and absolutely love seeing portrayed in books but here it was almost like Georgia felt superior and like she was the only who could truly and fully love someone platonically because she would never develop romantic feelings or sexual attraction.
This book could've used this opportunity to talk about the existence of platonic relationships and how there are people who live as non-romantic couples.. instead it just ended in this weird triangle situation with Georgia, Rooney and Pip, introducing no boundaries whatsoever, and I cannot even get into the mess that all of that was.
And the fact that Rooney having been in a toxic relationship is getting used as an opportunity to say that platonic relationships are better than romantic relationships, is something I can't even begin to unpack either.
I could write many more paragraphs for many more hours on this book, for example about the time when Georgia just picks up her roommate's phone without her consent and the roommate is just like "okay no prob". Or when the lesbian character is the one who says "how do you know you won't find someone one day?", so Georgia gets to be the one to say "how would you feel if I said this towards you" and on and on and on.
I'm not saying characters can't be flawed or unlikeable or fuck up. But this book is one big fuck-up. From the way Georgia behaves and treats other people to the things that this book portrays and talks about in general. Considering all the things that this main character says and does and thinks throughout this book,
there is just not enough repercussions for it. There is not enough people calling Georgia and her bulldozing behaviour out and it is not okay.
At the end of the day, despite knowing how many people saw themselves in this book and the main character's experience, I simply cannot recommend this book whatsoever. A book that shames and invalidates everybody else's experiences to further a main character's journey is just not a good book.
If you're looking for something else to read instead,
I highly recommend Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman for a book with amazing aroace questioning rep without invalidating anybody else!
Buddy read with Melanie & Maëlys ♥
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Rating: really liked it
***do I need to buy a physical copy of this book?
***Cannot think of a reason not to
I ended up loving this book so much and I wasn't expecting to get so attached to the characters by the time I was just into 20 percent of the book.
Now they are literally my fictional family and I will protect them forever.
The story talks about exploring one's own sexuality and most importantly friendship and teamwork.
Through the characters, the author has done a remarkable job in explaining what asexuality and aromanticism mean and what they represent. I was laughing, crying and cringing (relatable moments, second hand embarassments you know) the whole time I was reading the book!
And who would have thought there would be a lot of Shakespeare stuff in this one?! Love that for all of us!
I loved all the characters, my favourites being Pip and Rooney. Damn, they're so cute and hilarious together!
This is such a wholesome read!
✨Dear author, I have started dreaming of a webcomic series on them. Can you please make it happen?
Rating: really liked it
thank you alice oseman for having all your book covers match
Rating: really liked it
i didn't really vibe with this :(premise: great
characters: -_-
writing: .........
you can watch our liveshow for the Late Night Book Club here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-R7r...
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Rating: really liked it
holy shit
so like.......here's the thing. i don't have the words? i knew this book was going to make me feel things but.....damn. wow. okay.
i just cried for like thirty minutes because the end was so poignant.
this is the book i needed like ten years ago. seven years ago. five years ago. last week. it's something i've been eagerly waiting to read for months (years? i can't remember when alice started working on it) and i just knew it would be important to me because it's basically one of the first like...aroace coming out books ever. obviously i've read a handful of ace books (not enough sadly) but nothing quite like this. and every time i pick up an ace book i get this incredible giddy feeling - that feeling when you see yourself on a page, where you feel represented - but this time was just...different. oof.
recently in the past month or so i've been reflecting on a lot of personal stuff, trying to figure out what's going on with my sexuality because my original "diagnosis" of sorts from about five years ago felt...off. i've been toying with the idea that maybe i am more aromantic than i original thought. it's been...chaos. a massive challenge, frankly. and i still feel like the label could change, but i NEEDED this book right now. i needed it for this time in my life and i needed it back when i was first figuring out my sexuality. but i did not anticipate this book getting to me as much as it did.
if you're not ace, you won't know the struggle that is finding good ace rep. mainly because...there's almost none. and most of the time when i do read an ace book, i think i feel represented because anywhere on the ace spectrum is something i can relate to more than a straight book....however. the ace spectrum is wide and varied and i'm realizing now that some of the books that i read before that i thought represented me...didn't do so as much as i really hoped. they're great and i value them and obviously i will always love them, but none of them were like this.
this book made me cry because i felt so known.
this book made me realize that i am aromantic, even though i love romance.
this book made me realize that I AM IN LOVE GODDAMMIT! JUST NOT ROMANTICALLY!
this book made me see life and love in ways i never imagined.
which isn't to say it's perfect. i think the characters did somethings that i didn't totally love, but as a whole? holy cow. i feel changed. i wonder if this is what it felt like for gay teenage boys to watch love, simon. i wonder if this is what it felt like when straight people saw titanic for the first time. this is representation. mainly because alice didn't shy away from the specifics. it can be challenging to write about things like sexuality because a lot of times authors don't go deep enough. if you're writing YA it's challenging to write sex scenes or explore things like masturbation or whatever else is out there, and when you get to adult books it's usually just.......all sex or no sex, nothing in between. but this book, which i feel like is more new adult than young adult.....it hit all the points. it explicitly defined asexual and aromantic...multiple times. it explored what it's like to be sex-repulsed, to wish you weren't sex-repulsed, to question how repulsed you are if you do masturbate. it touched on typical aphobic reponses like "you'll find someone someday!" or "maybe if we find you the right therapist we can fix you" or even "yes it's weird to be 18 and not kiss anyone yet" - and then it called them out and showed how those responses are shit. and all that is amazing, i'm so thankful for that but i think the things that really got me were 1) it showed an ace person TRYING to fit into an allo box and finding that they truly did NOT belong there and 2) it showed that romance and no romance are not the only options.
for me something i've...struggled? with? over my life is that asexuality is flooded with moments where you say "okay but what if this IS just a phase, what if i COULD fall in love with someone if it was the right person, what if i DID try kissing a girl instead??" and so you start hypothesizing all these what if scenarios where you try desperately to fit into the box in anyway you can. and i never had the opportunity to, say, kiss a girl or go out on a serious date or fall for my best friend, but i always have been...curious. more in a "okay but maybe i CAN fix myself if i try this" way. which is exactly what georgia does. and i think what also got me is that i read so many books about explicit sexual encounters (even just kissing) and i can never tell how I would react in those situations because i haven't been in that situation and all those books are about ALLO PEOPLE. but getting to read about an ace person kissing for the first time and then watching her realize immediately "oh fuck i shouldn't have done this i am disgusted" .........it felt like i could try it out without the trauma of actually doing it. for which i am SO GRATEFUL. it also just made me feel like my feelings were valid? that if i did kiss someone and hate it (which i would), i wouldn't be alone in that. i felt like i got to explore my own sexuality through georgia's experiences and it honestly truly did make me realize that for a long time even though i've identified as ace, i've still been looking for cop-outs. to be more allo. to be more straight. to be less me.
but what truly shocked me, what left me crying on my bedroom floor, is the twist ending that i did not consider AT ALL. i mean, it's not super dramatic to a normal person probably, but to me??? i just...it changed my whole perspective on life. everything feels different. (view spoiler)
[ basically at the end we see rooney confront georgia about their friendship and she says something along the lines of, we may not be romantic partners and i know we're friends, but this is something that will stand the test of time and i am committing to you because i LOVE YOU, even if it isn't in the allonormative way. (hide spoiler)] and that just....hit me. full force. at 1am. because the fuck of it all is that i did not realize this was an option? like, okay sure, i get that i have friends. yes. i adore them. they're all amazing. but. this felt.......different than that. (view spoiler)
[there's a section right before rooney's speech where georgia goes "i'm scared to lose any of my friends because this IS my romantic partnership, they ARE the most important relationships i'll ever have." and then rooney talks about she'll take care of georgia when they're in the forties and living next door to each other. (hide spoiler)] and i think the combination of those two things really showed me that my friendships ARE romantic. not in the allonormative way, not just these people i do life with or whatever....my friendships are my partners. and i have SO MANY OF THEM! i just got hit with these waves of feeling like "okay sure maybe i won't have a wedding, maybe i won't get the grand gesture of a proposal or something like that, but i have SO MANY OTHER GRAND GESTURES!" like things that i have sort of taken for granted but what i realize now are so fucking romantic. and it's not even the grand gestures. it's like when my friends remember certain details about my life or when they listen to me at midnight raving about a song or when they read the books i recommend or when they give me playlists or ask about my book or tell me i'm going to be successful or check up on me when i'm in a bad mood or make sure i'm drinking enough water or or or or or the list goes on forever.
i never knew that friendship was a thing i could romanticize. (of course i'm realizing now that i've been romanticizing my friendships for as long as i can remember....) it didn't seem BIG enough which is complete crap, honestly and clearly i've been brainwashed by the straights to think that because friendships are the only thing that have kept me afloat for twenty five years...i guess i just feel like....even though a little more weight has been added to my shoulders because i think i do need to sit with my (recent) grief of realizing i'll probably never be in a romantic relationship......i also feel like some weight has been lifted because....i do have people to look after me. i don't think i realized how scared i was about growing old and going through life without a partner but like.....i have many partners. and i know that they're as committed to me as i am to them. and i'm also realizing i have to be better about pouring into those relationships 1) because i love those people but 2) if i don't have to leave room for a big romance in my future (save for a wedding, for example), then i can pour my energy and heart and emotion into the people i already have. i don't have to keep searching and hoping and looking because i already HAVE enough. i have some fucking amazing partners who love me as much as i love them even if they are kissing someone on the side.
alice remains one of my favorite writers (and biggest inspirations honestly) because even aside from her ace rep and the way she really explores gender and sexuality, she's also just a damn good writer. her characters are full of life, her contemporary world building is amazing, she's funny as HELL, and her books feel like home. like...if love actually wasn't christmas and it was a book...that's alice. (is this because she's british? probably but that's beside the point) i aspire to write books like her. on all levels. she always just writes exactly what i need to hear, and i'm so so SO grateful that publishing found her and took a chance on her and her stories. i can't believe it took me as long as it did to read her stuff, but i'm never letting her go. she's doing such incredible work, especially because i know how hard this book was for her to write. but it's seamless. effortless. breathtaking. i hope she knows how much she's done for people like me because it's just......i don't know where i'd be.
Rating: really liked it
I have never felt more seen by a book. Bless Alice Oseman for writing this, full of confusion, figuring things out and coming to terms with an asexual identity. It was such a comfort to see myself reflected and know that there's a happy, accepting future of love out there for me in friendships deeper than any romance~
EDIT: made a video review if you'd like to check it out~
Rating: really liked it
Wish I could tell you how much this book means to me, how much hope it gave me.
I wrote a whole essay about it, but chickened out before I could post it. Sometimes I feel like I write reviews as if Goodreads was my therapist, even if I end up not sharing them. But good books make me want to write about my experiences.
All in all, I loved the book. I just wish she'd never experimented with Jason. He is a sweetheart and seeing him hurt broke my heart.
And hit home.
Being confused about romantic love and best friend love when you feel the friendsip so deeply - like they are the most important person in your life -, and have never felt romatic love before, is a whole another experience. Not a pleasant one.
