Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up
Published November 30th 2020 by Macmillan, Kindle Edition 513 pages
Nell Stevens’ life is a mess.
When her business goes bust and her fiancé with it, Nell’s happy ever after in California falls apart and she moves back to London to start over. But a lot has changed since she’s been gone. All her single friends are now married with children, sky-high rents force her to rent a room in a stranger’s house and in a world of perfect instagram lives, she feels like a f*ck up. Even worse, a forty-something f*ck-up.
But when she lands a job writing obituaries, Nell meets the fabulous Cricket, an eighty-something widow with challenges of her own, and they strike up an unlikely friendship. Together they begin to help each other heal their aching hearts, cope with the loss of the lives they had planned, and push each other into new adventures and unexpected joys.
Because Nell is determined. Next year things are going to be very different. It's time to turn her life around.
A book for anyone who’s ever worried life isn’t going to plan, Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up by Alexandra Potter will make you laugh and it might even make you cry. But most importantly, it will remind you that you're not alone, because we’re all in this together.
Time to fall in love with your life.
User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
I wanted to love this book, I really did. As someone who is forty without the husband and children I’d always thought I’d have (and no real prospects on the horizon), I thought I’d finally found something I could relate to. There is nothing out there that’s I’ve found so far in literature for women like us and when I saw this book, I thought ‘about time!’ I thought I would laugh, cry and take comfort. But this book really triggered me.
It made me incredibly angry and I thought, presumptuously, that other women in my position must be hating it - that the author totally missed her target audience. But then I saw that a few women who reviewed this were childless and single in their forties and loved it. Jody Day has given it a really positive review (I have just ordered her book and found it very comforting), so I stand corrected.
I wonder if I am alone in my feelings on this book or whether there are other women out there who feel the same way as me?
First of all, to be fair to the author, she doesn’t go down the whole probably won’t have children, but might just save it at the last minute (!) and pop one out route. And you have to respect that.
But there are two main things I have a problem with in this book. The first is the main character’s grief. Now I know this is a humorous book, I totally get that. But humour and pain can co-exist quite nicely, especially in fiction. My gripe is the main character feels pain, but not quite enough. This is not to say that the pain of the childless can’t be overcome, not at all. All I’m
saying is that the pain of the childless is real. But Nell gets over her predicament so quickly that it makes you wonder whether it was ever really a problem to begin with.
As a childless, single woman, there are days when I’m fine and there are days when I feel like I can’t face the world and an ad on telly makes me cry. But when I try to explain this to my mum friends, they just don’t get it. My worry is that, having read this book, mums will say things like ‘just be positive!’ Or ‘just get out there!’ Or maybe, ‘you have to read this book’ when their childless friends to try to talk to them about their struggles. And perhaps those childless women just want to be heard. They just want someone to acknowledge their pain.
This is what we all want and this is what I try to do when my mum friends talk to me about their problems. I don’t give advice (what would I know about raising a child?), I don’t act as if it’s
not a big deal and I don’t say, ‘it’s just a question of perspective, just be positive!’ Because it’s not helpful.
The other main issue I have is with Nell. Now, I wrote something about the horrors of dating in your late thirties which I doubt will ever see the light of day. This was reviewed by an author who is married with children. (I didn’t see as a problem, surely she would see my point of view.) Well, her comments affected me for days. The main changes she suggested were to make my protagonist more likeable (she should use her time as a single woman to help her mum friends) and to make it a book that explores what is it to be a woman. This meant a closer look at two of the mum characters. Her feedback depressed me and it feels like someone has given the same advice to this author.
Whenever the reviews talk about the characters in the book, they mention Cricket. Cricket is full of life, eccentric and fun. Nell on the other hand is like a blank canvas, but she is kind, so kind and helpful, that no one could possibly find fault with her. She babysits her friends’ kids, she picks them up from school. She drops everything for her parent friends. Great. What do they ever do for her? Cricket is the only one who ever gives her any support. Her best friend treats her like total crap and there isn’t even an argument over it. It’s as if the book is pleading for society to accept this childless woman who can be a rock to the lives of others whilst expecting nothing in return. I don’t know anyone, parent or childless who wants to live their life like this.
The book tries to give a balanced view, it shows the plight of struggling mums. Fine. But when it became about women everywhere (we are all f*ck ups, we’re all in this together), I felt disappointed. I have read countless books about mothers - post natal depression, mums struggling to cope, mums struggling with society’s expectations to be perfect. Mums get brilliant TV series like ‘Motherland’ (which I’m considering watching for the 3rd time this lockdown). What do childless women get? This is the one book I’ve found which is supposed to be about women like me, only to find out that it isn’t.
It’s probably no surprise (if anyone’s still with me :)) that I found the ending disturbing and symbolic. Yes I know it’s supposed to be funny and tongue in cheek, but seriously?
As an Asian woman who’s suffered from anxiety for several years, I’ve experienced all kinds of prejudice throughout my life. But what affects me most these days, is society’s reaction to the childless. It seems to be the last taboo and this book only confirms this.
Rating: really liked it
Ohhh guys, do you want to read a book that’s a TONIC for the times we are living in? Then you need to read Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up by Alexandra Potter because it sizzles with life. And made me laugh at least once a page.
Thanks to Pan Macmillan for giving me for giving me a copy of this book for review consideration. As always, no matter what the source of the book, you get my honest, unbiased opinion.
FIRST LINE OF CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UP“Hi, and welcome to Confessions of a Forty-Something F##kUp, the podcast for any woman who wonders how the hell she got here, and why life isn’t quite how she imagined it was going to be.”
MY THOUGHTS ON CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UPOK, first off I said it’s a laugh a page. It mostly is, but lurking in the humour are heart-rendering, lump in the throat moments too. Basically all human emotions beat loud and strong from this book.
And ohhh did I relate. I too am a Forty-Something F##K Up. As much as I wanted it all, I didn’t get to tick all the boxes of perfect marriage, gorgeous kids, and successful career that I lusted over as at Twenty-Something dreamer. OK, I got some, but like so many others I linger longer over those I didn’t get, than those I did.
Nell makes herself write a gratitude list to help her survive her life, and gradually her list goes from breathing to achievements that she is really proud of. But mostly she becomes proud of herself, f##k up's and all, which is so lovely not to mention empowering to watch.
I’M GRATEFUL FOR- this book for making me belly laugh, snort and giggle my way through the pages
- the friendships that Nell has in her life, they flounder and flourish, and reminds me that friendship needs to worked at to keep alive
- the adventures that Nell has sharing a flat. It makes me glad that I don’t have to fight with a landlord about my house thermostat. Just my husband!
- the podcast theme within this book. So relevant, funny and inspiring.
In case you haven’t guessed I loved Nell and I loved this book.
WHO SHOULD READ CONFESSIONS OF A FORTY-SOMETHING F##K UP BY ALEXANDRA POTTER?Listen if you need a laugh, then buy this book. If you are a Forty-Something F##K Up (or any decade F##K UP), then buy this book and discover you are not alone. Fans of Bridget Jone’s Diary or Sophie Kinsella’s Shopoholic series should also enjoy this one.
Rating: really liked it
Nell is at rock bottom, she has split up with her fiancé after their business went bust and has moved into a shared house with Edward, who has a long list of rules .. but on the positive side he won’t be home at the weekends!!
When Nell celebrates her 40th birthday it makes her realise this is not the life she had planned, friends around her are settled down with children and have new friends that enjoy play dates together.
Nell lands up writing obituaries, she meets Cricket an 80 year old widow and they soon make friends and become close. Together they help each other with adventures and laughs along the way!!
This book did make me laugh!! It made me realise life is not always perfect and you have to make the most of it!! It was nice to take my mind off the Corona Virus.
This should be a must read book for every woman.
Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.
Rating: really liked it
Another rewarding and light enjoyable offering. An excellent quality audio; it's always refreshing to pick up the book and look forward to the voice, as well as the story as it continues.
I had not heard of this author, and it was a 'stumble across' as I browsed an interstate catalogue (the perks of working in a library, and knowing where to look for the location of a book, Australia wide). BorrowBox is great!
A common theme, hashtag 'live your best life' hashtag 'gluten free brownies rock' etcetera etcetera (I take some poetic license there). Nell is fed up, she's failed at her business, failed at an engagement. Returning home to London after setting up a new life in The States, her life ended up far from swimmingly. In her forties and feeling like a failure and so far removed from all these bullocky and unrealistic bloody hashtags, she is childless and feeling more than less than. The one mantra repeated many times was being in her forties and childless. This may offend some! But it was humorous and she was a funny gal.
The childless slant was quite relentless in this story, but as all light reads it wasn't meant to be taken too harshly, and all sides ended up being explored.
Even though I knew from the start what may have been happening romance wise, it was still a satisfying read. Female friendships, the way some are domineering and will always show the 'my life is perfect', look at my Insta and look at my fancy wardrobe and stylised persona.
Nell was broke and house hunting, ending up renting in a shared situation with Edward, who rented in the city during the week, and went home to the suburbs to his family on the weekend. This suited Nell as he was stuffy and had too many rules, aka, one square of toilet paper per bathroom visit and a caveat not to touch the thermostat. Eeek! On the plus side to this was the lovely Arthur the dog, who Nell looked after. They became firm friends.
An editor, Nell secured a job with an old colleague crafting epilogues, and this is how she found a firm friend in Cricket, a newly widowed octogenarian. This was a wonderful friendship.
All in all a light read, nothing heavy was expected and all taken in the manner in which [I] expected. It was sweet and lovely.
Rating: really liked it
This book is in my top five books that I have read this year. It has everything, love, loss, friendship and enemies. You can’t help but love Nell and want her to have her happy ever after.
Laugh out loud funny in some places but also heart wrenching in others
Rating: really liked it
Funny, witty and heart-warming. Yes, it glosses over certain issues, yes, it might be very 'middle class' in places but it's a good story with enough depth to have kept me engaged throughout. And I could relate to Nell quite a lot which is a credit to Potter writing her character really well. Really enjoyed it.
Rating: really liked it
Overall this is funny and heart-warming. I did like it even though there is a certain amount of cheese!
I did have some issues with the portrayal of childless women but it is comedy/light entertainment and I don't want to discuss my views here. If I could put those things aside it would be a 5 star read for pure entertainment (and a few emotional tears).
Rating: really liked it
*https://mrsbbookreviews.wordpress.com
Hi and welcome to Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up, the podcast for any woman who wonders how the hell she got here, and why life isn’t quite how she imagined it was going to be.’
Romantic comedy novelist Alexandra Potter returns with a brand new sharp, in touch and genuine novel in Confessions of a Forty Something. Following the poignant and relatable journey of a lead that you just can’t help but root for, we bear witness to Nell Stevens’ disaster movie of a life. As Nell strives to gain control of her career, finances, love life and friendships, plenty of laughs and moments of clarity come to light in this wholly enjoyable contemporary fiction title.
Facing a downward spiral all too quickly, Nell Stevens must deal with the demise of business, her impending marriage and the loss of her life in sunny California. Back home in the UK, Nell is flat broke, a newly single woman and homeless. Worse still, all Nell’s friends seem to have moved on and settled down into marriage and motherhood. Nell feels left behind and drastic measures see her taking up residence in a small flat in a shared house arrangement. Nell’s life feels like it is going absolutely nowhere fast and the perfect social media feeds she follows makes her feel even worse. But things slowly begin to look up for Nell, who is determined to gain the upper hand over her changed life arrangements. Nell begins a new job and she becomes acquainted with the enigmatic Cricket, an eighty year old with an infectious zest for life. Despite their age difference, Cricket and Nell bond over their shared loss. This brings about a solid form of support and friendship, along with some interesting outings! Nell begins to see that her life isn’t so bad at all, in fact, she might even be a successful forty something!
Well, what a sheer surprise this book turned out to be! It just goes to show that sometimes you should not judge a book by its genre classification. I haven’t read an Alexandra Potter book before, but I was aware of her writing. I boxed Potter in the chick lit category and my not so wonderful experiences of this genre of late immediately had me offside. But I decided to give Confessions of a Forty Something the benefit of the doubt and I started to read the Prologue. The opener was definitely readable and worth continuing and I finished the book with a big smile on my face!
Confessions of a Forty Something has a great structure. The novel follows a year in the life of Nell Stevens. The book is divided in terms of months of the year and significant moments in time in Nell’s life, such as New Year’s Day, Sunday Lunch, Easter Monday, Mothers Day and so on. I really enjoyed this format and I think it worked well to situate the reader in the unfolding story. Interspersed between the narrative are references to Nell’s entertaining podcast, along with her notebook entries on what she is grateful for each day. There are also snippets of conversations via communication channels such as Whats App. I found these inclusions funny, authentic and enlightening.
Nell is a truly wonderful lead and I genuinely enjoyed following her life story. It was great to oversee Nell’s ups and downs, which was very true to life. I despaired with Nell as she dealt with a number of common problems faced by forty somethings, there were funny moments, but also areas of pure understanding. Nell is loveable, well-drawn, relatable and a little flawed. I could sympathise with Nell’s lack of confidence and sheer dissatisfaction with the direction of her life. It is easy to feel sorry for Nell, but at the same time we want her to develop some resilience and inner strength to rise above it all.
Alexandra Potter is an experienced novelist of over eleven romantic comedy titles. I think this shows in her writing and this particular novel. Potter does a good job with the love story aspect of her new novel. We see a possible love interest develop through friendship and support, we cringe as Nell is taken for a ride with a poor love match and our hearts break as she works to understand what went wrong with fiance. Alongside the love story is the wonderful unlikely friendship that sparks between Nell and Cricket, an elderly lady who is just a marvelous character! If only we had more Cricket’s in our life to guide us! Potter also explores some family dynamics as Nell must deal with a crisis that hits close to home. This was carefully handled by the author, again linking in to the overall message that this book seems to convey we must embrace life and do with it what we can, with what we have.
A life affirming, insightful, savvy and meaningful contemporary fiction piece, I am very happy to send my full recommendation to Confessions of a Forty Something by Alexandra Potter.
*I wish to thank Pan Macmillan for providing me with a free copy of this book for review purposes.
Rating: really liked it
Penelope or Nell as she prefers has moved back to the UK after breaking up with her American Fiancée. Nell is a forty something single woman without a job and accommodation unlike her friends who are all married and have kids and have their own houses. Her father lends her money and she looks for a shared accommodation and starts a job as an obituary writer to pay for bills.
When she goes to meet the widow of a recently deceased playwriter, she meets the eighty something widow, Catherine or she is knows lovingly as Cricket. Cricket turns out to be quite different from what Nell had imagined and they become friends. They both end up teaching each other a great many things.
Nell's housemate or landlord, Edward only stays at the house few days a week as he is married and has kids and visits them in the country over the weekends. He also owns a dog, Arthur who also becomes Nell's companion in a way as Nell spends a lot of time with Arthur and takes him on walks.
Nell's best friend, Fiona doesn't have time for her as she has a new friend of her own. Basically, any of Nell's friends don't have time for her unless they want her to babysit their kids and I felt for Nell.
I loved Nell and everything about her character. From feeling like a failure to her trying to fit in and find her place in her family and her friend's lives to her self-pity to her resilience and picking up the pieces and trying to get back on track rather a new track. She was so relatable in every which way. I was rooting for her all the way. I remember the plans that I had for my life ten years ago and not even one thing has happened as per that plan but my life took a completely different turn and I am still loving it. But this book definitely reminded me of the things that I had laid out and thought back to where I used to think I'd end up ten years later and then ended up laughing because now I can't even imagine going by that plan. Life is funny that way.
I also loved Cricket as she ended up helping Nell in so many ways and also Nell helped her as well. I absolutely loved their friendship and it shows that you can make new friends when you get older and also friends don't really have to be the same age.
I loved Edward and all his annoying nagging but I also knew where the story would go with him. I didn't like any of Nell's friends because they only wanted her when they needed something from her and Fiona wouldn't even listen to her until she finds out that her daughter Izzy is being bullied by Annabel's daughter. Yeah, they patched up and everything but it was unfair to Nell and I was mad on her behalf I guess because Nell forgave too quickly. Bits of this also reminded me of the movie, Bridesmaids but I didn't care because I love that movie.
I also loved Nell's relationship with her family especially her father and that bit towards the end scared me to bits. There were some awkward conversations at the beginning with her mother as expected because her mum was still holding out hope for Nell to patch things up with her fiancée. It was all believable and I loved how it all came to be.
I am not sure if my words are doing justice to how much I loved this book but I loved this book and everything about it. I think we need more of these kinds of books. I felt so many different emotions on each page like I laughed, cried (actual tears), felt sad, felt annoyed and related that I feel such a mess writing this review. My emotions are all over the place. I wanted to read it quickly and at the same time didn't want to finish it.
It's gone on my all time fav book shelf and I am grateful for:
1. This book.
2. All the plans that were laid out once but didn't actually happen.
3. Nell.
4. Family.
5. Friends that I used to have but don't have anymore and didn't even think about them for years until today and all I remember is all the fun that we used to have and nothing else.
6. That podcast that's really inspired me.
7. Did I mention this book?
Thank you Alexandra Potter.
5 full stars
Rating: really liked it
Thank you to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for sending me an eARC of this book.
I actually read the first look of this over on Readers First and thought it was such an uplifting and fun book; and I felt that way for perhaps the first half, but then i just began to feel very cliche and the ending was just really disappointing for me. I thought this was going to be a story about her finding herself and I was hoping the ending would follow suit but then it just felt like such a let-down for me.
I wish this was more focused on the podcasts and what she actually says on them; we are told that she's getting these insane amount of followers but it's barely mentioned apart from as an anecdote and just doesn't feel well thought out. The rivalry between her and Annabel again just felt so cliche and so unnecessary in this book.
I feel like this book could have been so well done because there were some really good moments and i like the message that we're all told we're fuck ups and we're not, I just wish it came across more in the whole book.
Rating: really liked it
I just loved this. It really could have been written about me 🤣🤣
Rating: really liked it
I absolutely LOVED this book. I’m struggling to find the words to do it justice but it was honestly just perfect. I loved Nell and I loved her take on the world. Cricket and Nell’s relationship was such a joyful one to read. Cricket was an absolute tonic. One of my favourite chapters of the book was ‘It’s Complicated’, I felt that the author perfectly described how so many people feel about the world that we live in.
This book felt like such a true representation and depiction of life for so many women of all ages. I’m 25 and I felt like I related to it so much. It was funny, witty, honest, deep, and soul baringly real. An amazing book to start the month with!
Rating: really liked it
Highly unrealistic, hugely predictable, medium dose of clichés, mostly readable, with a few good lines, if you have the patience for the above. If it wasn't audio book, wouldn't stay for the ending.
Rating: really liked it
This book was a solid 5 stars all the way until the ending. I didn't think it was a necessary adding and felt it was just plonked there. It was confusing and didn't quite fit with the rest of the story. But other than the ending, this story is a hoot of laughs! This one will definitely tickle your insides. From the way the character talks to the unfortunate events - like 'shitgate' - and so many other things that are amusing, entertaining and great to read about.
I must, if you need a laugh out loud read, especially as the world is going down the sewer with this coronavirus pandemic, then this one is the one to read! It has definitely lifted my spirits in a such a dim time and I know it will help you too. It's lighthearted and fun, witty and gritty. I'm still laughing thinking about the adventures of Penelope Stevens.
Every character mentioned in this story had their own funny quirks, there own manner of laughs and each one complimented the other. Penelope, AKA Nell, is the main character, she the forty-something f*** up, and even though she's a little depressed and a little lost in life, she absolutely hilarious! All her friends; Michelle, Fiona and Holly, they're all the family-oriented lot, who seem to have it all together, they have their moans and laughs. I would have added Annabel to 'friends' but she wasn't really, and I wouldn't want to be friends with the uppity madam either. Then her landlord Edward, very 'save the planet' kinda guy, really funny and knows how to really bring out Nell's most witty side.
All these characters are incredible and added their own personal touch to Nell's story.
I feel, after reading this, I'm not scared to reach that stage in life now. You make it how you want it. So what if you don't quite have it together, your skint and have no job? Nell certainly made her life how she wanted it and it was great!
The author's writing style is fabulous! She definitely has a way with words and really brought these characters and the scenes all together and explode them from the pages. This author knows funny and she knows it well.
Overall, a book full of laughs and smiles, just a shame about the ending.
Rating: really liked it
Firstly I have to make readers aware that this is NOT a memoir, which is what I thought I was reading for the first two chapters. Oops! The writing was so real that I genuinely didn't realise it was a work of fiction until I finally spotted that the name of the protagonist was different to the name of the author.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found the writing clever, witty, hilarious and emotive. Nell was instantly loveable (real or otherwise!) and I was immediately invested in her story. There were many, many parts of the story I related to and I'm only a 30-something f**k up. Confessions has all the stamps of an excellent work of modern contemporary fiction, and characters that span the breadth and width of social awareness.
Part of the story focuses on a podcast that the main character, Nell, decides to create, and this was a fresh and interesting concept but didn't take the stage until later on in the story. It was a little confusing due to the fact that it seemed at the beginning that it was going to be a bigger thread, but that's not a criticism, just an observation.
My particular favourite character was Cricket, who shows us that even at 80-something, there is still so much of life to enjoy.
I will most definitely be looking for more Alexandra Potter books to add to my TBR list!
