The Museum of Lost Love
Published October 1st 2019 by World Editions, Paperback 216 pages
War and violence and life and love
Tyler is in therapy. Katia and Goran are in love. On a summer trip to Zagreb, the couple discover an unusual museum that displays mementos of broken relationships. Inside, Goran stumbles upon an exhibit that seems to be addressed to him, from a girl he met in a Sarajevo refugee camp at age fourteen. What follows is a whirlwind summer of reconnecting with lost pasts: Goran confronts the youth he lost during the Yugoslav Wars, Katia heads to Brazil to find her roots, and Afghanistan veteran Tyler pours out his soul. Set against alternating backdrops of violent circumstances, this novel is a soulful testament to the resilience of the human heart.
User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
intrigantna i potencijalna polazišna ideja ne daje, na koncu, puno više... ostaje okus dobre ideje koja se izjalovila. nije loše u smislu lošeg/nevaljalog teksta.. tek nedorečeno, površno, neuvjerljivo i klišeizirano. čitljivo, ali bez dubine. drame kroz koji likovi prolaze, u stvarnosti su puno žešće, a u tekstu se relativno laganini prelazi preko njih (npr. silovanje, ubojstvo, smrt djeteta, preljub..). čita se brzo, a to je šteta... od početnog materijala mogla je ispasti solidna, napeta, humana, kompleksna priča.
Rating: really liked it
Hiding in the depths of my bedroom closet there is an unassuming-looking shoebox. You mustn’t let its nondescript nature fool you, for within that small rectangle resides an inter-dimensional portal to another time and place. It possesses the TARDIS-like quality of seeming much too small from the outside to contain the multitudes of memory and emotion that burst forth when the lid is removed.
This is, of course, a box full of love letters and mementos, written one summer millions of years ago when I was a teenager from a boy I barely knew but to whom I bared my soul. A similar box resides somewhere, I am certain, wherever he is now. Both unopened and mostly forgotten, the only corporeal evidence that our two orbits ever collided. These were much more than mere letters. At the time I was obsessed with Frida Kahlo and Nick Bantock, with found things and mail art. Those boxes are filled with tiny broken toys and seashells and self-published zines. They are accompanied by soundtracks, covered in lipstick smudges, drawings, sewn-in ephemera, drowning in glitter.
I’ve thought once or twice of burning them or throwing them into the sea. I would like to be released from their tiny, nagging, enormous weight- but simply putting them in the trash seems sacrilegious.
This brings us to The Museum of Lost Love by Gary Barker. The book takes its name from an exhibit that collects the keepsakes and stories of broken hearts and once-vividly shared dreams that have ended up in dusty attics and rarely opened drawers. This seems like a fitting place for such bittersweet relics to rest, a home for things that can never be discarded yet are too heavy to carry alone.
The book uses the device of the museum to weave together seemingly disparate stories from every corner of the globe. From freedom fighters in Guatemala to a girl raped and shunned in Congo to inter-generational abandonment in Alabama, the tales begin to form a cohesive picture, showing us that our differences are often mere window dressing. At the heart of things, our tragedies are so similar. We are all just grasping, lonely creatures trying to navigate a brutal and confusing world.
One theme that emerges is the nearly impossible task of being a good man- and the question of what that even means. I know as a feminist I often seem to have little sympathy for men, but that isn’t true. I realize that they are set up to fail by toxic societal norms, just as women are given little choice. Until both sexes break free from the expectations that have been ingrained in all of us, we will never have a truly good and just society.
All of this is made radically more complicated by the ravages of war, in which men are expected to engage and destroy mindlessly while women are mere chess pieces and collateral damage. The author hits on an interesting point that I have often considered: the way in which men traditionally rape women during times of war. It’s been practiced since the beginning of time, and it’s supposed to be separate from sexuality- a punishment, a humiliation of the vanquished, a further pillaging of what was once yours. Actually it goes back further than that, animals like lions will often kill any cubs and then rape the females to impregnate them upon conquering a new pride. But the human mind doesn’t work that way, unless we are to believe that men’s brains contain some mechanism that allows them to shut off their humanity completely and rape women with impunity. So at some level all of these men must at least secretly desire to rape.
The writing here is stripped down to a bare-bones style that sings with clarity and honesty. The story in between the museum submissions focuses on the lives of two couples, each from very different backgrounds and locales- war-torn Bosnia, gang-riddled Brazil, and the US by way of Iraq and an abusive marriage. What we see as the threads weave together is a tapestry of seamless design. A common refrain here is one you so often hear in real life as well: you have not lived my story, you cannot grasp my pain. What this book, I think, strives to show us is how our pain is all intertwined. We all carry the same burden but it feels heavier in isolation. We need places-and books!– like The Museum of Lost Love to remind us that we are not alone and to help us lift the things we can no longer stand to carry.
Rating: really liked it
“The Museum of Lost Love” is a love story and being vulnerable enough to let love in even when it seems like love will just bite you back. This is a story about Katie, a woman who knows little of her background, and Goran, who constantly seems to be running from his background and from the horrific experiences that he had as a young child during the Yugoslav Wars. It’s also the story of Tyler, a veteran of the Afghanistan War, who is back home and very much still trying to get used to what life looks like after war where things may be even more difficult.
I really enjoyed this book. It was interesting to see how the stories intertwine with each other. They mesh together in some really unexpected ways. I was definitely drawn to both stories. We get to see Katia and Goran grapple with their pasts in order to define their futures. We see Tyler figure out what really matters when it comes to his son and how they move together as a family.
The writing of the book is really good. I loved how the story lines were interspersed with stories from the Museum of Lost Love. These little vignettes cover all sorts of different story lines and some of them are really poignant. I was amazed with how much the author was able to pack into such a small amount of space. The vignettes cover all different types of love. The author is at his best when he’s showing the inner motivations of each character. All the characters feel very real and the mauIn characters are ones I will be thinking about for a long time!
Rating: really liked it
Emotional, powerful and sometimes violent, this is a book of broken relationships. The Museum of Lost Love is based in Zagreb, and forms a tragic but deeply meaningful exhibition of letters and objects recounting the tales of broken relationships. The words of the letters are powerful, and the objects relevant to the stories they tell, imparting extra power. Behind the stories are hints of survival and change, but always there is an ending. There are two stories which also flow through the book, alternating with the short testimonies, which are linked by a character. They reveal a more nuanced view of disaster and challenge, tragedy and yet a little hope, as the characters, Tyler, Katia and Goran seek to cope with their situations. Setting out an international series of the human problems that can threaten and change relationships, this book explores some of the things that can go wrong, with a hint of hope for survival, change and growth. There are the obvious problems of war, of civil danger, of the deep hurts that can affect men and women in so many places. A book of rare humanity, its undoubted honesty and determination to show the sometimes harsh realities of life and love is a deeply felt piece of flowing writing. Yet there is resilience, the theme of the human spirit, which lies beneath all the stories. It has been an eye opening experience reading and reviewing this book.
The book opens with a young man, Tyler, who is reluctantly telling his story of military service for the American forces in Afghanistan to his therapist Katia. This is not the story of open warfare, rather the ongoing fear of what may be lurking around each corner. He manages to convey the blindness of relationships, entering the unknown. He has to cope with the unknown on a daily basis, as he finds himself a single father to Sammy, a little boy who arrived unexpectedly. His job as a policeman who incidentally keeps an informal eye on sheltered housing for women who have suffered abuse from their partners will also mean more challenges that create painful memories of things he has seen.
His therapist, Katia, has her own traumatic challenges to deal with, which develop throughout the novel. She knows she is adopted, a small baby brought from Brazil, whose adoptive parents suffered their own tragedy. She wants to find out more about where she comes from, risking much in her relationships. Her partner, Goran, is a survivor of the Yugoslav wars, in which he escaped as a teenager. Suffering from guilt by association, he discovers a momento of a young woman, also a refugee, who was left behind in a place of civil war and appalling threat. The ongoing story of his coming to terms with his questions is a part of the account woven through the book, shaping and defining his relationship with Katia.
This book is not an easy read, but undoubtedly powerful and enthralling. The shifts of focus between the main narratives and the short testimonies maintains the interest, with tension and suspense as what is happening. This is an important book, which says much about relationships, identity and the challenges of life. National and international issues are described well, which increases the books significance. The troubled history of Serbia, Bosnia and the disappearance of Yugoslavia is commemorated through the memories of some of the characters in this book, illuminating the harsh realities. A strong book, this is an impressive achievement and deserves a wide audience.
Rating: really liked it
This is one of the most beautifully written books that I've read for a long time. Quite short, but with great emotional depth; it's a story that is filled with tragedy and fear, yet has such an air of hope throughout it.
Set during summer in Zagreb, the author has centred his story around a place that really exists; the extraordinary and unique museum that displays mementos of broken relationships; and tells the stories behind them.
Tyler, Katia and Goran are three wonderfully created characters; each of them have a rich and complex history and their own stories are masterfully woven throughout the novel.
The author has each character individually narrate a chapter, and each one ends with a tale from one of the museum exhibits. The reader travels a journey of love and loss alongside the characters; learning more and more about each one and what has shaped them to become the people that they are today.
This is a novel of reflection, and it certainly made me think about my own relationships, and how they have shaped my future.
A mesmerising storyteller; this novel is written with intelligence and warmth
Rating: really liked it
This is an interesting idea for a book as not only does it explore the lives of three very different characters but it also gives us a glimpse into the poignant exhibits which are to found in the Museum of Broken Relationships in Zagreb.
I found this to be a story of several parts, initially that of Tyler who is an Afghanistan veteran, struggling with therapy, and trying to come terms with the way his life has evolved, and of his tentative relationship with his young son, Sammy. And then running alongside is the story Katia and Goran who are in a relationship but they each have deep emotional issues in their past which need to be properly addressed.
Whilst the character driven element of the novel works well, especially the author’s exploration of the intricacies of their individual lives, I think what worked best for me was the haunting and very personal exhibits which were found in the museum. Reading of love both lost and won, and of the poignant reminders, be they written or physical, made me realise the importance of keeping special such memories alive.
The Museum of Lost Love is a perceptive story which took me to places I can only visit in my imagination and which reminded me that, if we let it, love can tear us apart.
Rating: really liked it
Nancy suggested this book--the book club I used to belong to was reading it, and she thought I might be interested. The story definitely struck a chord. Made me realize that you can't always understand the impact that brief interactions may have. I imagine that a lot of people use the Internet to try to find out about those "lost loves." I know I have tried to find out about people that I used to know...not necessarily to reconnect, but just to see where they ended up. I loved the examples of the different museum submissions. Also made me think whether submitting a story to something like a museum of lost love would help bring closure to some unfinished relationships.
Rating: really liked it
This is a short but well written book which takes it's title from an actual museum in Zagreb that collects mementos of broken relationships and unrequited love. The story creates three characters and weaves their personal stories around the concept of the mementos in the museum. Each character has a very reflective story and it all intertwines very well with each other. I enjoyed this book of very moving stories of survivors of different conflicts.
Rating: really liked it
Interesting, but I found myself easily lured into other reading "opportunities" while in the midst of this slim novel. I was fascinated to learn about Gary Barker's work as an international human rights activist with Promundo. (Look him up!)
Rating: really liked it
I'm surprised not many people read this book-it was amazing! So heartfelt, with interwoven stories about war, loss, abuse, love...all told so poignantly well.
Rating: really liked it
I really enjoyed this book, though not quite as much as "Mary of Kivu," his last book. It is a great story though and such a thoughtful look at love and loss.
Rating: really liked it
Loved the idea of the book, no more than a novella really, but it just didn’t click for me.
