The Secret Life of Bots (The Secret Life of Bots #1)
Published September 2017 by Clarkesworld Magazine, ebook 35 pages
Autonomous maintenance robots take on a much larger role in saving a spaceship from aliens than the ship's human crew could have ever suspected.
A science fiction story first published in Clarkesworld, Issue 132, September 2017.
User Reviews
Rating: really liked it
“A rogue bot cannot be tolerated, whatever good it may have done.”
It’s official -
I found my second favorite bot (the top favorite being, of course, Murderbot, why’d you ask?). It’s Bot 9, a teeny-tiny multipurpose bot on a formerly decommissioned Ship that now has been commandeered from the junkyard for a very dangerous mission. The Ship, that is. Bot 9’s mission is simple - task 944, take care of a pest plaguing the Ship.
“The bot would rather have been fixing something more exciting, more prominently complex, than to be assigned pest control, but the bot existed to serve and so it would.“
The little Bot 9 (dwarfed by giant 3 centimeter silk Bots) takes his task very seriously. So do the people who serve as the Ship’s rudimentary crew - they take their task very seriously too, as they need to save the Solar system from an alien invasion. And the big crew has no idea about the existence of the little mechanical crew of Bots, serving the Ship, doing their tasks, in their spare time chatting on botnet, reciting Mantras and forming a very peculiar culture. Secret Life of Bots, indeed.
“It was eighty-two point four percent convinced that there was something much more seriously wrong with the Ship than it had been told, but it was equally certain Ship must be attending to it.”
When the connection dropped, Bot 9 hesitated before it spoke to 4340. “I have an unexpected internal conflict,” it said. “I have never before felt the compulsion to ask Ship questions, and it has never before not given me answers.”
What happens when an older generation Bot 9 (
“I have never met a bot lower than a thousand, or without a specific function tag”) still carries the Improvisation Routine module instead of uninstalling it to keep up with the newer models?
Well, sometimes there things that it needs to take in its own chassis (or its own grabber arm, I guess) and maybe go just a teensy bit rogue: “Please! We all wish you great and quick success, despite your outdated and primitive manufacture.”
“Thank you,” Bot 9 said, though it was not entirely sure it should be grateful, as it felt its manufacture had been entirely sound and sufficient regardless of date.
It left that compartment before the hullbot could compliment it any further.”
Terry Pratchett once noted,
“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.” Not to disagree with Sir Terry (the horror of even thinking such a sacrilege!), but he clearly hasn’t met Bot 9. Bot 9 can do anything — save the semi-suicidal humans, Solar System, you name it — and still finish his task 944, eventually.
Also, I implore you - be nice to your Rumba or your smart watch or whatever smart appliance you may have. You never know when they get an improvisation routine — and you certainly want them on your side.
I’m giving my iPad a hug right now.5 multibot stars.
Read it (and listen to it) here: http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/palme...
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Originally review was posted here (under the issue of Clarkesworld magazine where it was published, in case GR erases this short story record): https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
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Also posted on my blog.
Rating: really liked it
Alright, I don't think this is an ebook (I've already tried to buy it), so I expect this to disappear.
https://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2020/...
Many, many thanks to MollyK (https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1...) for finding it for me.
Novelette at http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/palme...
My review:
'The Secret Life of Bots' 2018 Hugo Best Novelette
http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/palme...
An elderly ship-borne bot is pulled back into service.
“I am assigning you task nine hundred forty four in the maintenance queue,” the Ship answered. “Acknowledge?”
“Acknowledged,” the bot answered. Nine hundred and forty-four items in the queue? That seemed extremely high, and the bot felt a slight tug on its self-evaluation monitors that it had not been activated for at least one of the top fifty, or even five hundred.
As it works, it learns more about the current state of the ship and the humans piloting it. The little machine is equipped with Improvisation sub-routines, as well as governing Mantras which give it loads of character. Fans of Murderbot and ART will likely enjoy it (although the robot is nothing like Murderbot).
Read before, no idea where/if there's a review. Re-read after reading Finder by Palmer.
“Please! We all wish you great and quick success, despite your outdated and primitive manufacture.”
Rating: really liked it
[suicide (hide spoiler)]
Rating: really liked it
"...Abandoned?"
"It's the fate of all made things," Ship said. "I am grateful to find I have not outlived my usefulness, after all."
Let me make this clear, Murderbot is my favourite sentient robot. Simply because I am Murderbot. However, if Murderbot was to have a twinning joint first place favourite robot who isn't me, Bot 9 takes the spot.
Wall E I am so glad
Nataliya brought this wonderful novelette series to my attention. However, I found out about Bots of the Lost Ark which is a sequel to this novelette (short story?). So if you are interested in Bots of the Lost Ark, read this first.
This story follows Bot 9. A Wall-E incarnate who is teeny, and he lives to serve his purpose. He is not like other Bots though. Bot 9 is a bit more... old-fashioned. He is sent on a mission to deal with the infestation affecting Ship. The crew, bots and Ship are on a critical mission. A suicide mission to save Earth. The infestations, called Incidentals, are putting the mission in jeopardy, and it's up to Bot 9 to deal with it. Go, little bot. Go.
The other bots are rooting for Bot 9 to achieve his goal.
"We all wish you great and quick success, despite your outdated and primitive manufacture."
"Thank you," Bot 9 said, though it was not entirely sure it should be grateful, as it felt its manufacture had been entirely sound and sufficient regardless of date.
You tell them baby!!
On his mission to eliminate the Incidental, it gets enlightened at a more optimal way to achieve their end goal to save Earth. So the little Bot that could starts a mini-revolution. Overriding the humans' wishes and Ship's instructions. Will it succeed? Will it be thwarted? Will the humans start humaning and interfere because they think they know better? A lot is packed into this tiny story. I'm left a bug-eyed sentient gin because of how much joy I could suck out of it. If you love Murderbot, please PLEASE read this story.
You can find it here.
Mantra Upon Reading:
I have read this, therefore I shall read the sequel.
Rating: really liked it
Bot 9 is a first gen robot with something the newer bots don't have: improvisation routines. (They were removed generations ago due to causing 'dangerous operational instability.') On a ship recalled from the junk yard, on a mission of utmost importance, one clever and improvisationally-inclined bot just might save the day.
This novella is adorable without being twee. Dry humor, personable yet convincing robots, and a smart ending - what else could you even ask for?
The Incidental, which had been poised to leap on them again, turned and fled, slithering back up into the ductwork. “Pursue at maximum efficiency!” 4340 yelled.
“I am already performing at my optimum,” 9 replied in some frustration. It took off again after the Incidental.
Heh. I snapped up
The Secret Life of Bots and its sequel
Bots of the Lost Ark in an afternoon. They're available free online (Secret Life of Bots and Bots of the Lost Ark), but I would totally buy them in print form if that ever happens.
Rating: really liked it
An absolute hoot. I need to give Palmer's writing a second look, clearly.
Rating: really liked it
📚
Free short story from Clarkesworld Magazine 📚
Bot 9 might be a ridiculously tiny, outdated machine assigned to lowly pest control but it's
despicably cute and
clever as fish. Also, its
improvisation routines and
governing mantras are everything. In other words,
Murderbot has nothing on this little guy here. QED and stuff.
P.S. Why so many people spend their time on Instagram when they could chat on botnet is and forever shall be one of the greatest mysteries of the universe.
·
Story 2: Bots of the Lost Ark ★★★★
Rating: really liked it
It was really fun reading this Murderbot-esque short. I always have a soft spot for semi-sentient or fully sentient AI bots.
In this, we have a cute little bot (multibot 9) with old decommissioned software prone to make them unpredictable. It gets activated to combat a pest on a spaceship trying to stop the earth from alien invasion. How does a teensy bot relate to the alien invasion? Read the amazing short here to find out!!
Really looking forward to the second short which can be found here.
This is a must read for all the Murderbot lovers out there.
Shoutout to Nataliya’s review that made me wanna read this!
Check out my instagram!
Rating: really liked it
An absolutely brilliant little short story about a small multipurpose bot on a ship that's seen better days that's tasked with tracking down an unidentified lifeform. If you're a fan of Martha Wells' Murderbot Diaries then this is absolute must-read. I really hope we get to see more of Bot 9.
The short can be found on the website of the magazine it was originally published in, here:
http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/palme...
Rating: really liked it
This was just as cute as everyone said it’d be. Who’d-a thought? It’s about bots and it’s still adorable. Full review to come.
Rating: really liked it
Yes, the title of this 2018 Hugo Award winner gives a nod to the film
The Secret Life of Pets, and, yes, in this novelette, the tiny robots do communicate with one another in a way humans cannot understand. But the real message is how going rogue can be the best way to save the day. Bot 9, the oldest robot on the ship, is so tiny that three-centimeter silkbots dwarf it. (For North Americans, that means Bot 9 is much smaller than an inch.) With humankind in a battle for its existence, the Ship (which is itself sentient) reactivates Bot 9. Readers will love the clever Bot 9.
Thanks to Nataliya for introducing me to this great read. I listened to the book through
Clarkesworld magazine here. You can read it here.
Rating: really liked it
I serve… to improvise!
Rating: really liked it
This was such a cute little story about little bots that are sometimes too smart for their own good. I loved all the inter-bot interactions. The author managed to give all of them some individuality. And in the end, an unorthodox approach saves the day!
Rating: really liked it
2.8⭐
Cute and quick short story about maintenance 'bot' on an obsolete spaceship who saves the day. Comparisons with Murderbot are inevitable, so let's make 'em. While Palmer appears to owe a debt to Martha Wells, she's striving for her own take on the sentient robot riff, plus she's also going for farce instead of Wells' dark comedy. Good for a smile.
Rating: really liked it
A GR friend whose taste I trust rated this highly and talked about it in her year in review, so I looked around and found it on the Clarkesworld podcast. The host, Kate Baker, reads a story from the magazine each episode, and she read “The Secret Life of Bots” for the September 27, 2017 podcast. So great!
I’ve been loving robot stories the past few years, and this one was a delight. I laughed, I cheered, and I smiled my head off while listening. I definitely need to check out more of Suzanne Palmer’s work.
